I have never mentioned it here, but driving here is an experience for itself. People don't respect any rules, nobody stops at stop signs, traffic lights, etc. It seems that the driver that is fastest usually prevails. Fortunately so far, we have been doing o.k. while driving even though there were some situations where we could have easily been in an accident.
Some friends of ours had a very serious accident this weekend. They were planning to travel for the weekend with other friends and driving with two cars around Venezuela with some other friends.A driver was overtaking another car and coming up on their lane. Our other friends who had been the first car were able to drive off the highway, but the car ended up hitting our friend's car frontally. They have very serious injuries and will have to be flown out of the country. Fortunately their children are o.k. My mind slips back and forth to them. They had asked us to join them on their trip, but for various reasons we had decided to stay behind. That could so easily have been us. I thank God today that they are alive and pray that they will recover soon from their injuries.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
A giant genius in training
I know that you are probably wondering whether I have dropped from the side of the planet. I haven't, still alive and kicking. But incredibly busy. I have organized a big party last week for my job for about 300 people with three different show acts. Quite some work. But it turned out - after many ups and downs - a very successful event.
We also had been back in the US for two weeks to spend some quality time with family and shopping. We had a good time and bought lots of stuff that we either can't get here or can get here, but what is way too expensive. Lilli had a great time playing with her cousins and seeing all her relatives. We also had to take her to the doctor because her skin was breaking out. It turns out she has eczema, so we need to be careful with soap and use lots of moisturizing lotion.
Yesterday I finally took Lilli to her 15 month-check-up. A little late at nearly 17 month, but better late then never, right? The doctor was very impressed with her as always. She is now 89 centimeters long - that is about 35 inches - and therefore has even grown out of the European growth chart that he uses. For Venezuelans she is a giant which they like to comment on whenever they find out her age. She weighs now 11.6 kilograms which is 25.57 pounds. For her height she is about 50 percentile for weight. Lilli has a vocabulary of about 80-90 words in three languages and is constantly learning new words. I can't even keep up with writing them down. The doctor said that an average kid that age has about 6-10 words in one language. But of course, we also think that our kid is a genius - like all parents. She is very sweet at this age and I really love it. Sometimes I look at baby pictures of her and wonder whether she ever looked that way... She also has nearly stopped all the hitting - putting her consequently in time-out seems to have done the trick.
In January Lilli will attend daycare for the first time. It will be good for her to interact more with other kids. On our family planning front, we would love to adopt again. But unfortunately, we just can't afford it at this point. But we would love to give Lilli a sibling. My dh still wants five children. I think I would be o.k. with 2 or three right now.
I took these pictures at a recent trip with friends somewhere in the jungle of Venezuela. We were supposed to climb to a swimming hole at a water fall. Little did we know that the friendly guide wanted us to climb up the waterfall (dh with Lilli in the backpack). The waterfall was about 60 feet high and it was very scary experience. But we were very proud after making it. It turned out that the "swimming" hole was perfect for Lilli, but a little bit too little for us.
We also had been back in the US for two weeks to spend some quality time with family and shopping. We had a good time and bought lots of stuff that we either can't get here or can get here, but what is way too expensive. Lilli had a great time playing with her cousins and seeing all her relatives. We also had to take her to the doctor because her skin was breaking out. It turns out she has eczema, so we need to be careful with soap and use lots of moisturizing lotion.
Yesterday I finally took Lilli to her 15 month-check-up. A little late at nearly 17 month, but better late then never, right? The doctor was very impressed with her as always. She is now 89 centimeters long - that is about 35 inches - and therefore has even grown out of the European growth chart that he uses. For Venezuelans she is a giant which they like to comment on whenever they find out her age. She weighs now 11.6 kilograms which is 25.57 pounds. For her height she is about 50 percentile for weight. Lilli has a vocabulary of about 80-90 words in three languages and is constantly learning new words. I can't even keep up with writing them down. The doctor said that an average kid that age has about 6-10 words in one language. But of course, we also think that our kid is a genius - like all parents. She is very sweet at this age and I really love it. Sometimes I look at baby pictures of her and wonder whether she ever looked that way... She also has nearly stopped all the hitting - putting her consequently in time-out seems to have done the trick.
In January Lilli will attend daycare for the first time. It will be good for her to interact more with other kids. On our family planning front, we would love to adopt again. But unfortunately, we just can't afford it at this point. But we would love to give Lilli a sibling. My dh still wants five children. I think I would be o.k. with 2 or three right now.
I took these pictures at a recent trip with friends somewhere in the jungle of Venezuela. We were supposed to climb to a swimming hole at a water fall. Little did we know that the friendly guide wanted us to climb up the waterfall (dh with Lilli in the backpack). The waterfall was about 60 feet high and it was very scary experience. But we were very proud after making it. It turned out that the "swimming" hole was perfect for Lilli, but a little bit too little for us.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
If I could stop the time...
Today was a holiday and I was really looking forward to spending some time as a family. Little did I know that my husband had different plans. He wanted to play golf. I usually try to support him doing sports (his two soccer games a week, his basketball game once a week (even though he doesn't go every week) and golf once in a while), but today I was kind of bummed that I was a golf widow and by myself with Lilli all morning long.
I wanted to look at a daycare with a friend and her husband and had thought it might be nice for him to come along as well. After all this is OUR daughter and we have to make a decision together on which daycare she will attend. I really liked this daycare and even though it is logistically a little challenging (Caracas traffic is among the worst in the world), I think that she will start there in January. I really liked the teacher-student ration and that they have something like a concept of what they are doing. I know Lilli will love the interaction with other children. She is such a smart little girl. Her vocabulary has been skyrocketing. She is using about 60-70 words currently. She needs more outside input. It is an English speaking daycare, but two of the teachers speak only Spanish.
Starting daycare will be with mixed emotions. While I think it is the right thing to do for Lilli, I am aware that this is also the beginning of a journey of independence for her. First it's daycare, then kindergarden, then school, then she moves out, gets married, has children. Once this whole train is moving, there is no stopping it.
When I was having my confirmation in church (I was 13 I think) my Mom wrote this poem about my childhood. She wrote that often when I was little she just wanted to stop the time. Now I know what she meant by this all to well. There are so many precious moments that I want to treasure in my memory for the rest of my life. Lilli's smile and happy self, her toddling around, there are so many pictures that I have in front of me. But then, when I look at pictures of Lilli as a newborn, I can barely imagine that this is the same baby. She looks so different now. I can't even imagine that she was this little once. When I am holding babies of friends and they are the age that Lilli was just a couple of months ago, I can't stop myself from comparing them with her. Lilli has always had an incredible muscle tone. Compared to her many babies now feel like bags of flour. I wonder how it will be once we have a second baby. Will I do the same and compare every developmental milestone? I am also wondering whether we can get so lucky again. I mean, we got the perfect baby. Easygoing, friendly, healthy, no problems in terms of sleeping, feeding or allergies. How can any other baby measure up to that? Aren't we challenging our destiny to try again/adopt again? Can we love another baby like her?
Back to today: Around 1 p.m. dh finally came home from his golf game. It is weird to me how he just assumes that I will take care of Lilli when he wants to play sports. It seems like for men like him it is so normal that their wives will take care of the children when they are not available or have something else to do. Maybe because he doesn't spend a lot of time with her anyway because he is working. I don't really mind watching Lilli, but it would be nice, if he could at least ask me whether I have something else going on. Sometimes I would enjoy some time just for myself. But I have to admit that I am spoiled because on the days where I don't work, I can the maid/nanny let take care of Lilli. And the nanny is great. She is here every day now (our apartment is really big and three days a week she takes care of Lilli while I am at work in the mornings). Lilli loves her. I love her. But I don't want her to take care of Lilli every day. Because I also enjoy taking care of her. But sometimes Moms and children just need a break.
Even though I was upset when he came home, we managed to get along in the afternoon and spent a nice afternoon at our pool and a great dinner at a Sushi place close by. Now Dh is again playing soccer and I am just catching up on all my blogs.
I wanted to look at a daycare with a friend and her husband and had thought it might be nice for him to come along as well. After all this is OUR daughter and we have to make a decision together on which daycare she will attend. I really liked this daycare and even though it is logistically a little challenging (Caracas traffic is among the worst in the world), I think that she will start there in January. I really liked the teacher-student ration and that they have something like a concept of what they are doing. I know Lilli will love the interaction with other children. She is such a smart little girl. Her vocabulary has been skyrocketing. She is using about 60-70 words currently. She needs more outside input. It is an English speaking daycare, but two of the teachers speak only Spanish.
Starting daycare will be with mixed emotions. While I think it is the right thing to do for Lilli, I am aware that this is also the beginning of a journey of independence for her. First it's daycare, then kindergarden, then school, then she moves out, gets married, has children. Once this whole train is moving, there is no stopping it.
When I was having my confirmation in church (I was 13 I think) my Mom wrote this poem about my childhood. She wrote that often when I was little she just wanted to stop the time. Now I know what she meant by this all to well. There are so many precious moments that I want to treasure in my memory for the rest of my life. Lilli's smile and happy self, her toddling around, there are so many pictures that I have in front of me. But then, when I look at pictures of Lilli as a newborn, I can barely imagine that this is the same baby. She looks so different now. I can't even imagine that she was this little once. When I am holding babies of friends and they are the age that Lilli was just a couple of months ago, I can't stop myself from comparing them with her. Lilli has always had an incredible muscle tone. Compared to her many babies now feel like bags of flour. I wonder how it will be once we have a second baby. Will I do the same and compare every developmental milestone? I am also wondering whether we can get so lucky again. I mean, we got the perfect baby. Easygoing, friendly, healthy, no problems in terms of sleeping, feeding or allergies. How can any other baby measure up to that? Aren't we challenging our destiny to try again/adopt again? Can we love another baby like her?
Back to today: Around 1 p.m. dh finally came home from his golf game. It is weird to me how he just assumes that I will take care of Lilli when he wants to play sports. It seems like for men like him it is so normal that their wives will take care of the children when they are not available or have something else to do. Maybe because he doesn't spend a lot of time with her anyway because he is working. I don't really mind watching Lilli, but it would be nice, if he could at least ask me whether I have something else going on. Sometimes I would enjoy some time just for myself. But I have to admit that I am spoiled because on the days where I don't work, I can the maid/nanny let take care of Lilli. And the nanny is great. She is here every day now (our apartment is really big and three days a week she takes care of Lilli while I am at work in the mornings). Lilli loves her. I love her. But I don't want her to take care of Lilli every day. Because I also enjoy taking care of her. But sometimes Moms and children just need a break.
Even though I was upset when he came home, we managed to get along in the afternoon and spent a nice afternoon at our pool and a great dinner at a Sushi place close by. Now Dh is again playing soccer and I am just catching up on all my blogs.
Monday, November 2, 2009
A big sigh of relieve
was breathed in the doctor's office today. So this is the 6th doctor looking at it, who was pretty sure that it is not Lupus. He thinks it is a scar caused by birth. I am not quite sure about that since we only noticed it a couple of months ago, but I am very relieved at least that it is not Lupus. The doctor took a picture of her ear and will post it on his homepage accessible for dermatologists worldwide to take a look at it. We will also do a blood test to be sure that her blood is o.k.
I am just grateful that for now she is safe and healthy. I can't stop worrying about her. Somehow since we suffered from infertility I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. But today I am happy. I had a wonderful friend accompany me to the appointment. I didn't want to go alone since it was on the other side of town. I wanted a second person with me in case things didn't go so well. Dh is on a business trip to the beautiful La Isla Margarita. At least we had a driver take us there. The appointment was at 5 p.m. and rush-hour traffic in Caracas seems to be the worst. It took us only 30 minutes to get there, but one hour to come back home.
I am just grateful that for now she is safe and healthy. I can't stop worrying about her. Somehow since we suffered from infertility I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. But today I am happy. I had a wonderful friend accompany me to the appointment. I didn't want to go alone since it was on the other side of town. I wanted a second person with me in case things didn't go so well. Dh is on a business trip to the beautiful La Isla Margarita. At least we had a driver take us there. The appointment was at 5 p.m. and rush-hour traffic in Caracas seems to be the worst. It took us only 30 minutes to get there, but one hour to come back home.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Sick baby
Lilli is already 15 months old. We have a new trick for the mornings. When Lilli wakes up around 6:30 a.m. hubby gets her bottle and puts some toys in her crib. That way she continues to play by herself until sometimes 9:00 a.m. on the week-ends. Really nice!!!
This week was a bad week for her. On Monday night she had a little run-in with her friend A. He is three years old and the most polite and nicest little boy you can think of. If Lilli is on a bout of independence (which she is a lot these days), I usually just ask A. to take Lilli's hand and she willingly gives him her hand (which she refuse to do with me). It is the cutest thing to see them toddle along together. They also like to hug and kiss each other. But on Monday night they had an accident, a full-blown collision. A.'s teeth got Lilli's eyebrow. It didn't look bad at first, but then I saw the blood. Her whole eye was swollen for two days. But this seems to be fine now.
Otherwise Lilli is sick these days. Poor little puppy. If you wouldn't know her you wouldn't notice. She is nearly her usual self. But yesterday at the Halloween party you could see she wasn't quite healthy. We went trick or treating inside dh's office building as we needed a safe place to do this here. Lilli was a little pumpkin fairy. She didn't want to be in her costume in the first place and was screaming bloody murder. When we finally managed to put it on, she seemed fine. So off we went with the other kids here. But Lilli didn't want to walk by herself, she wanted to be held all the time. After a couple of doors, we made it to the doctor's office (which happens to be in the same building). Lilli didn't like the doctor's prodding and looking at her. We needed four people to hold her down when he wanted to look in her ears. She was not a happy camper. Screaming as loud as she could. The doctor thought her lungs are doing great. But when he looked in her mouth, he could see that her tonsils were enlarged and with white stuff on it. So he assumed it is strep throat. Therefore we are on antibiotics now. Needless to say that we didn't do any more trick or treating and hope the other kids are fine. Sorry!
We also went this week to see another dermatologist. The fifth doctor to look at the lesions in her ears. This doctor wants another opinion as well, but she thinks it might be a kind of skin lupus. It sounded very scary when she said that she didn't like what she saw. We are going to see another doctor on Monday for this. I am trying not to worry, but it is very hard not to. I just want my baby to be healthy.
Another issue we are currently facing is the "hitting the Mommy or the Nanny" thing. It started a couple of months back in July, but she did it only occasionally. Now she is doing it all the time. Whenever she doesn't like something, she says "No!" and starts hitting. I have started putting her in time-out. Surprisingly she stays there 95% of the time. Most of the time she doesn't seem to mind at all sitting there for a minute. She is just chilling and waits for me to pick her up and give her a hug. I don't think she takes me seriously. Do you guys have any tips how to get her to stop hitting? I really would appreciate some advice.
This week was a bad week for her. On Monday night she had a little run-in with her friend A. He is three years old and the most polite and nicest little boy you can think of. If Lilli is on a bout of independence (which she is a lot these days), I usually just ask A. to take Lilli's hand and she willingly gives him her hand (which she refuse to do with me). It is the cutest thing to see them toddle along together. They also like to hug and kiss each other. But on Monday night they had an accident, a full-blown collision. A.'s teeth got Lilli's eyebrow. It didn't look bad at first, but then I saw the blood. Her whole eye was swollen for two days. But this seems to be fine now.
Otherwise Lilli is sick these days. Poor little puppy. If you wouldn't know her you wouldn't notice. She is nearly her usual self. But yesterday at the Halloween party you could see she wasn't quite healthy. We went trick or treating inside dh's office building as we needed a safe place to do this here. Lilli was a little pumpkin fairy. She didn't want to be in her costume in the first place and was screaming bloody murder. When we finally managed to put it on, she seemed fine. So off we went with the other kids here. But Lilli didn't want to walk by herself, she wanted to be held all the time. After a couple of doors, we made it to the doctor's office (which happens to be in the same building). Lilli didn't like the doctor's prodding and looking at her. We needed four people to hold her down when he wanted to look in her ears. She was not a happy camper. Screaming as loud as she could. The doctor thought her lungs are doing great. But when he looked in her mouth, he could see that her tonsils were enlarged and with white stuff on it. So he assumed it is strep throat. Therefore we are on antibiotics now. Needless to say that we didn't do any more trick or treating and hope the other kids are fine. Sorry!
We also went this week to see another dermatologist. The fifth doctor to look at the lesions in her ears. This doctor wants another opinion as well, but she thinks it might be a kind of skin lupus. It sounded very scary when she said that she didn't like what she saw. We are going to see another doctor on Monday for this. I am trying not to worry, but it is very hard not to. I just want my baby to be healthy.
Another issue we are currently facing is the "hitting the Mommy or the Nanny" thing. It started a couple of months back in July, but she did it only occasionally. Now she is doing it all the time. Whenever she doesn't like something, she says "No!" and starts hitting. I have started putting her in time-out. Surprisingly she stays there 95% of the time. Most of the time she doesn't seem to mind at all sitting there for a minute. She is just chilling and waits for me to pick her up and give her a hug. I don't think she takes me seriously. Do you guys have any tips how to get her to stop hitting? I really would appreciate some advice.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Potty and Anniversary!
I am a very proud mommy today: Lilli has used the potty for the first time and peed in it. I had bought a potty a couple of weeks ago and had her just sit on it from time to time. This morning I had a lot of time and was reading to hear while she was sitting. And then - she peed!
I can't believe that she is already turning 15 months on Saturday. She is getting really sassy at time. She has started hitting me when I tell her "No" to something or she doesn't get her way. Any ideas on how to deal with this? I bought the 1-2-3 magic book and will start taking her to time-outs when she does it. She currently doesn't hit her dad, just me. It's very frustrating at times...
Tomorrow is our fifth wedding anniversary. Five years ago everything seemed so easy. We were going to get married, move to the U.S., and start a family right away. Then came the move, my dad's stroke, a crappy job, infertility, endometriosis, two surgeries, three IVFs, two miscarriages, my MIL's breast cancer, and my dad's lung cancer before we could actually realize that dream. And then my dad died.
The last five years have been the most difficult in my live and in a way the best because I have the man I love on my side to go through life with me. He is a fantastic husband and a great father. I don't know how I could have handled any of those things without him. I love him more than the day we got married, because he has been there for me all along the way.
I can't believe that she is already turning 15 months on Saturday. She is getting really sassy at time. She has started hitting me when I tell her "No" to something or she doesn't get her way. Any ideas on how to deal with this? I bought the 1-2-3 magic book and will start taking her to time-outs when she does it. She currently doesn't hit her dad, just me. It's very frustrating at times...
Tomorrow is our fifth wedding anniversary. Five years ago everything seemed so easy. We were going to get married, move to the U.S., and start a family right away. Then came the move, my dad's stroke, a crappy job, infertility, endometriosis, two surgeries, three IVFs, two miscarriages, my MIL's breast cancer, and my dad's lung cancer before we could actually realize that dream. And then my dad died.
The last five years have been the most difficult in my live and in a way the best because I have the man I love on my side to go through life with me. He is a fantastic husband and a great father. I don't know how I could have handled any of those things without him. I love him more than the day we got married, because he has been there for me all along the way.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Mammmiiii!!!!!
This is what I hear about 1000 times a day. When I answer the little lady, she just continues to say it. I love to hear it, but sometimes I wonder why she is saying it so often. Speaking of speaking: Lilli has now a vocabulary of about 45-50 words. It is impressive to see how easy she is picking up all three languages. She is using the language in which the word seems easiest for her: aqua, keys, prost (cheers), pee-boo (peckaboo), pita (pizza), pasta (works in all three languages), to just name a few...
I feel so blessed to have this beautiful and incredibly smart girl. There is not a day where I don't think about her birthmother. I am wondering what she is doing, how she is. I hope that one day our little girl will have a chance to meet this amazing woman that has given her life and us the biggest present of our lives.
We went to the dermatologist on Wednesday. For quite some time now Lilli has some lesions in her ears. We don't know when it actually started, but it has been a couple of months at least. It doesn't look bad or anything and doesn't seem to be malignant, but it comes and goes which is weird. It doesn't seem to bother her either. But we don't know what it is. Well, the dermatologist who by the way was the third doctor that looked at this, didn't know either. She asked her colleague, who didn't have a clue either. The only way to find out would be a biopsy, but that would mean general anesthesia. And there is no way we are doing this if it isn't necessary. We now have a recommendation for yet another doctor and I'll try to schedule something with her next week.
I feel so blessed to have this beautiful and incredibly smart girl. There is not a day where I don't think about her birthmother. I am wondering what she is doing, how she is. I hope that one day our little girl will have a chance to meet this amazing woman that has given her life and us the biggest present of our lives.
We went to the dermatologist on Wednesday. For quite some time now Lilli has some lesions in her ears. We don't know when it actually started, but it has been a couple of months at least. It doesn't look bad or anything and doesn't seem to be malignant, but it comes and goes which is weird. It doesn't seem to bother her either. But we don't know what it is. Well, the dermatologist who by the way was the third doctor that looked at this, didn't know either. She asked her colleague, who didn't have a clue either. The only way to find out would be a biopsy, but that would mean general anesthesia. And there is no way we are doing this if it isn't necessary. We now have a recommendation for yet another doctor and I'll try to schedule something with her next week.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Visit to the school for the blind
I am sorry I am so bad with updating. My days are just running by me. Between working, taking care of Lilli, and the household there doesn't seem to be a lot of time left. But I also didn't have to say anything interesting.
Today I went to visit a school for the blind here in Caracas. They currently have 69 children, 23 of whom are in preschool. They have to turn away additional children because they just don't have the room as the school is in a house, not a school building.
They gave us a little tour through the school and seeing those children made me realize all over again how blessed we are to have such a healthy little girl.
The children in preschool are on the top of the building. In order to get there they have to climb up a long metal staircase. I can't even imagine two or three year olds doing that. There were even blind twins who seemed to be neglected or something because they were doing this rhythmic banging of their heads. Poor kids.
I talked to a little girl in on class. She was 11 years old and has been attending the school for 5 years.
I asked about seeing eye dogs, but that doesn't seem to be something that many people can afford here. Wouldn't that be fantastic if the children had a dog to play with that would also help them in their daily life?
I believe the school is very good, but they don't have the equipment that any school for the blind in the U.S. would have. They have a hard time finding braille paper. They don't have any English braille books, so they can't teach any English. We are trying to organize some donations to see how we can help them.
Today I went to visit a school for the blind here in Caracas. They currently have 69 children, 23 of whom are in preschool. They have to turn away additional children because they just don't have the room as the school is in a house, not a school building.
They gave us a little tour through the school and seeing those children made me realize all over again how blessed we are to have such a healthy little girl.
The children in preschool are on the top of the building. In order to get there they have to climb up a long metal staircase. I can't even imagine two or three year olds doing that. There were even blind twins who seemed to be neglected or something because they were doing this rhythmic banging of their heads. Poor kids.
I talked to a little girl in on class. She was 11 years old and has been attending the school for 5 years.
I asked about seeing eye dogs, but that doesn't seem to be something that many people can afford here. Wouldn't that be fantastic if the children had a dog to play with that would also help them in their daily life?
I believe the school is very good, but they don't have the equipment that any school for the blind in the U.S. would have. They have a hard time finding braille paper. They don't have any English braille books, so they can't teach any English. We are trying to organize some donations to see how we can help them.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
1 year doctor's visit - hold, make that 13 months
Since we were traveling we didn't make it for Lilli's 12 months doctor's appointment. Because she seemed healthy I didn't really care to wait. Today I finally went to see a new doctor. I liked my old doctor, but didn't really have the idea that he asked a lot of questions and took a lot of time to spend with us.
The new doctor is fantastic. I really like him. He took a lot of time to spend with us. He measured and weighed Lilli himself. She weighs 23 pounds (10.5 kilograms) now and is 83 cms long. She actually grew out of the curve. She is taller than the 100th percentile of all other children. I guess she will be a basketball player...
She signs "All done", "More", "tired", "Sleep", "down", "eat", "milk", "diaper change", etc. It is amazing how she is able to communicate with us. And fascinating to see every day.
I also told the doctor that we were looking to adopt again. He hears of babies that are given up for adoption occasionally. I told him to call me... The only problem is going to be the legal side. Would be very complicated.
In the meantime we will try it the good old way. We practise a lot... We have also discussed a potential donor egg cycle. I will have to go to the "clinic that can do miracles" here to see what the doctors say.
The new doctor is fantastic. I really like him. He took a lot of time to spend with us. He measured and weighed Lilli himself. She weighs 23 pounds (10.5 kilograms) now and is 83 cms long. She actually grew out of the curve. She is taller than the 100th percentile of all other children. I guess she will be a basketball player...
She signs "All done", "More", "tired", "Sleep", "down", "eat", "milk", "diaper change", etc. It is amazing how she is able to communicate with us. And fascinating to see every day.
I also told the doctor that we were looking to adopt again. He hears of babies that are given up for adoption occasionally. I told him to call me... The only problem is going to be the legal side. Would be very complicated.
In the meantime we will try it the good old way. We practise a lot... We have also discussed a potential donor egg cycle. I will have to go to the "clinic that can do miracles" here to see what the doctors say.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Back in Caracistan!
I am sorry I haven't updated before, but I just got back from Europe last Saturday. Thank you all for your condolences and prayers. I have to say that they really helped a lot and often I just felt carried by you all.
Hubby's grandfather died as well. He had to go to the States and took the laptop. I felt lost without connection to the internet and was very sorry Lilli and I couldn't attend the funeral.
It was a very difficult, but also very rewarding trip back. Before the funeral I got to say my private goodbye to my dad. He was laying in his coffin all cold, but he looked so peaceful. When I touched him I realized that we were burying his body, but that his soul was gone to another place. The tears come and go, but mostly I am o.k. Having my own family helps a lot. I am so glad that my dad got to experience being a grandfather and that he had a chance to meet Lilli.
For the funeral I met a lot of relatives that I hadn't seen in many years. The weeks after that we did a lot of things as a family, a thing we weren't able to do in the last couple of years.
Lilli turned one while we were there. She started walking the day we were leaving and hasn't stopped since. She is all over the place. Fortunately my mom was able to celebrate the first birthday party with us. We also invited some neighbors and family and friends. It turned out to be a great party. Lilli enjoyed all the attention she got and of course all the presents.
She is giving real hugs now and real kisses. She says when she doesn't want to be put on the floor. She has a huge vocabularly for a one-year-old. I made a list and it had more than 20 words on it. Since she has learned even more. The newest being: "Bien!" when asked "Como estas?" Our nanny taught her that. I am amazed daily by the amount of interaction I can have with this little person now.
The flight back was not so much fun. We used miles to upgrade to Business. But traveling by yourself with a mobile one-year-old is not such a fun experience when there is a 10 hour flight ahead of you. I felt really bad when she screamed and didn't let her scream for long. She noticed that and slept only 45 minutes during the whole flight. I was defeated after 8,5 hours when the stewardess took her finally away for a while. So Lilli got to see the cockpit and spend some time there. I was really jealous. I have never been in the cockpit and I have no pictures from her being there.
But hey, we are back and life is back to normal. I am glad we are reunited as a family. Now we see what the future holds for us.
Hubby's grandfather died as well. He had to go to the States and took the laptop. I felt lost without connection to the internet and was very sorry Lilli and I couldn't attend the funeral.
It was a very difficult, but also very rewarding trip back. Before the funeral I got to say my private goodbye to my dad. He was laying in his coffin all cold, but he looked so peaceful. When I touched him I realized that we were burying his body, but that his soul was gone to another place. The tears come and go, but mostly I am o.k. Having my own family helps a lot. I am so glad that my dad got to experience being a grandfather and that he had a chance to meet Lilli.
For the funeral I met a lot of relatives that I hadn't seen in many years. The weeks after that we did a lot of things as a family, a thing we weren't able to do in the last couple of years.
Lilli turned one while we were there. She started walking the day we were leaving and hasn't stopped since. She is all over the place. Fortunately my mom was able to celebrate the first birthday party with us. We also invited some neighbors and family and friends. It turned out to be a great party. Lilli enjoyed all the attention she got and of course all the presents.
She is giving real hugs now and real kisses. She says when she doesn't want to be put on the floor. She has a huge vocabularly for a one-year-old. I made a list and it had more than 20 words on it. Since she has learned even more. The newest being: "Bien!" when asked "Como estas?" Our nanny taught her that. I am amazed daily by the amount of interaction I can have with this little person now.
The flight back was not so much fun. We used miles to upgrade to Business. But traveling by yourself with a mobile one-year-old is not such a fun experience when there is a 10 hour flight ahead of you. I felt really bad when she screamed and didn't let her scream for long. She noticed that and slept only 45 minutes during the whole flight. I was defeated after 8,5 hours when the stewardess took her finally away for a while. So Lilli got to see the cockpit and spend some time there. I was really jealous. I have never been in the cockpit and I have no pictures from her being there.
But hey, we are back and life is back to normal. I am glad we are reunited as a family. Now we see what the future holds for us.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
My dad
My dad died this afternoon after a long struggle with lung cancer and strokes. May he rest in peace. We are leaving today.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Touching
Melba had mentioned in a post that people want to touch baby Charlie all the time.
I have to admit that I am dealing with the same problem. People here don't seem to have a concept of personal space. When I am waiting in line at the supermarket for example some people come so close to me that I am getting very uncomfortable. With Lilli it is the same. All the time people come and touch her. Most of them just mean really well and don't know that you shouldn't just touch any child you see. I already joked about putting up a sign on her stroller that says "Don't touch!". I haven't learned how to tell those people to back off, yet.
Particularly when I go with her to the market all those people come and just touch her. Yesterday there was one incident was over the top. Out of nowhere comes this old creepy guy and touches her and kisses her hands. I wanted to move on and told him we needed to go and he just wouldn't stop. I felt very uncomfortable and I don't want to imagine what Lilli felt.
Please, my dear blog friends, tell me how I can tell those people to back off without offending them.
I also get the question "Tu hija?" (your daughter) a lot and when I say proudly "Si. Mi hija!" people shake their heads in disbelieve. I am close to asking people "Why do you want to know? to put them in their place...
I have to admit that I am dealing with the same problem. People here don't seem to have a concept of personal space. When I am waiting in line at the supermarket for example some people come so close to me that I am getting very uncomfortable. With Lilli it is the same. All the time people come and touch her. Most of them just mean really well and don't know that you shouldn't just touch any child you see. I already joked about putting up a sign on her stroller that says "Don't touch!". I haven't learned how to tell those people to back off, yet.
Particularly when I go with her to the market all those people come and just touch her. Yesterday there was one incident was over the top. Out of nowhere comes this old creepy guy and touches her and kisses her hands. I wanted to move on and told him we needed to go and he just wouldn't stop. I felt very uncomfortable and I don't want to imagine what Lilli felt.
Please, my dear blog friends, tell me how I can tell those people to back off without offending them.
I also get the question "Tu hija?" (your daughter) a lot and when I say proudly "Si. Mi hija!" people shake their heads in disbelieve. I am close to asking people "Why do you want to know? to put them in their place...
Friday, July 10, 2009
Thyroid question
I don't know if I ever mentioned it here, but I had 90% of my thyroid removed due to a benign tumor 11 years ago. Since then I have been taking thyroxine every day. It is no problem in my daily life, but sometimes I wonder whether it effects my fertility.
Once a year I have to have my levels tested. Yesterday I finally went. TSH is 0.61, T3 is 3.09 and T4 is 1.79. I asked Dr. Google about it and it looks like only high TSH levels are causing problems with fertility. But what about low levels? Does anybody have some medical input?
Where does this question come from you might wonder. Dh and I have talked about having a second child. I know it is very early since Lilli isn't a year yet, but since I am already 35 (and we know it goes downhill from here), we should take a decision on what we are doing. We would both love to adopt again, but haven't paid for Lilli's adoption yet. Therefore we are not ready at this point to pursue adoption again. The legal aspect is also kind of complicated. Americans, living in Venezuela, trying to adopt from the US or internationally. Which law applies? I don't know. I only know that we would need to adopt after US law. But what about the law here? Getting a home study done would be another problem...
Another option would be fertility treatments. It is a little cheaper here than in the US, so this might be an option. But I don't know whether I want to get on that kind of rollercoaster again with my own eggs. I am more thinking about trying donor eggs this time. Hubby suggested to try one cycle with my own eggs. He really wants me to be able to have a biological connection to the child. While I would love one, I want to have a sucessfull cycle and pregnancy and given our history I just feel that donor eggs would be a better shot.
Once a year I have to have my levels tested. Yesterday I finally went. TSH is 0.61, T3 is 3.09 and T4 is 1.79. I asked Dr. Google about it and it looks like only high TSH levels are causing problems with fertility. But what about low levels? Does anybody have some medical input?
Where does this question come from you might wonder. Dh and I have talked about having a second child. I know it is very early since Lilli isn't a year yet, but since I am already 35 (and we know it goes downhill from here), we should take a decision on what we are doing. We would both love to adopt again, but haven't paid for Lilli's adoption yet. Therefore we are not ready at this point to pursue adoption again. The legal aspect is also kind of complicated. Americans, living in Venezuela, trying to adopt from the US or internationally. Which law applies? I don't know. I only know that we would need to adopt after US law. But what about the law here? Getting a home study done would be another problem...
Another option would be fertility treatments. It is a little cheaper here than in the US, so this might be an option. But I don't know whether I want to get on that kind of rollercoaster again with my own eggs. I am more thinking about trying donor eggs this time. Hubby suggested to try one cycle with my own eggs. He really wants me to be able to have a biological connection to the child. While I would love one, I want to have a sucessfull cycle and pregnancy and given our history I just feel that donor eggs would be a better shot.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
A garten eden in the middle of the jungle.
To celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary of our church wedding we went for a night to a nice posada here in the countryside. Posadas are like little hotels, mostly family-owned. We had a great time and really some time to relax. I enjoyed not having to cook and being spoiled by nice home-cooked food.
Here are some of our impressions and some updated Lilli pictures. I can't believe she will be one in two short weeks. Time to plan the birthday party...
Here are some of our impressions and some updated Lilli pictures. I can't believe she will be one in two short weeks. Time to plan the birthday party...
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
11 months today
I can't believe our beautiful little girl is turning 11 months today. What happened to the tiny little baby we brought home from the hospital?
Lilli can nod her head now which is truly funny. If you put words in her mouth and then start to nod your head she will nod hers, too. She still is crab-crawling and cruising all over the place. Yesterday dh and I played a fun game with her. We were sitting on the floor with our legs open and let her walk between us. She did a pretty good job running from one person to the other, turning around and running back.
Lilli is very vocal. I thought her speech would be delayed since she is learning three languages at once. But she is babbling away. She can say: "Hola!" and "Aqua" in Spanish, "Baby", "Teddy", "Papi" "Wau wau" in German/English. She says "Mama", too. Lilli loves to say "Hola!" and she says it to everyone and everywhere. Sometimes she just repeats it for herself all the time.
I have been working quite a lot in the last couple of weeks. Lilli gets to spend a lot of time with our maid who is fantastic with her. But I think the consistent exposure to Spanish is very good for her language skills.
She is signing "All done" and "More", but we haven't been very consistent with the signing.
Today I was braiding her three little ponytails for the first time. Usually she doesn't like to sit still to have her hair done. But today she seemed fine with it. Parting the hair is the hardest thing. Of course my part looks terrible. But the braids look pretty cute on her.
Last week-end I was in the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Dh was upstairs on the terrace to get everything ready. Lilli was downstairs playing in the living room. When he came back downstairs, Lilli had climbed up 5 steps by herself. Very scary... We really need our gates up. We got two more last week-end, but the need drilling and I don't want dh to start drilling holes in our walls. So we have to wait for a craftsman to come...
An update on my dad. Thank for all your prayers. He is doing much better. Last week he came home from the hospital and seems very grateful being home. My mom has a care service that comes three times a day. At least she doesn't have to do it all by herself. He needs a much higher level of care than before. But at least he is home.
Lilli can nod her head now which is truly funny. If you put words in her mouth and then start to nod your head she will nod hers, too. She still is crab-crawling and cruising all over the place. Yesterday dh and I played a fun game with her. We were sitting on the floor with our legs open and let her walk between us. She did a pretty good job running from one person to the other, turning around and running back.
Lilli is very vocal. I thought her speech would be delayed since she is learning three languages at once. But she is babbling away. She can say: "Hola!" and "Aqua" in Spanish, "Baby", "Teddy", "Papi" "Wau wau" in German/English. She says "Mama", too. Lilli loves to say "Hola!" and she says it to everyone and everywhere. Sometimes she just repeats it for herself all the time.
I have been working quite a lot in the last couple of weeks. Lilli gets to spend a lot of time with our maid who is fantastic with her. But I think the consistent exposure to Spanish is very good for her language skills.
She is signing "All done" and "More", but we haven't been very consistent with the signing.
Today I was braiding her three little ponytails for the first time. Usually she doesn't like to sit still to have her hair done. But today she seemed fine with it. Parting the hair is the hardest thing. Of course my part looks terrible. But the braids look pretty cute on her.
Last week-end I was in the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Dh was upstairs on the terrace to get everything ready. Lilli was downstairs playing in the living room. When he came back downstairs, Lilli had climbed up 5 steps by herself. Very scary... We really need our gates up. We got two more last week-end, but the need drilling and I don't want dh to start drilling holes in our walls. So we have to wait for a craftsman to come...
An update on my dad. Thank for all your prayers. He is doing much better. Last week he came home from the hospital and seems very grateful being home. My mom has a care service that comes three times a day. At least she doesn't have to do it all by herself. He needs a much higher level of care than before. But at least he is home.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Let's do a raindance!
Thank you for your continued thoughts. First, and update on my dad. He is not doing well, but at least it doesn't look like he is dying today or tomorrow anymore. His mind is very clear and he is going back and forth between: "I want to die and the best thing is not to eat anything anymore" to wanting to come back home.
My mom asked me for my advice on this: what would be the best solution for my family? I don't know. I know that she has taken care of my grandmother first, then my grandfather and now for the past nearly 4 years for my dad. I know that she is emotionally and physically drained. But she has to decide whether she wants to take care of my dad at home or whether he needs to go to a nursing home. The level of care he needs now has definitely increased. He can't use either of his arms or hands, he can't get up any more. At least she needs a service to come to the house to help with washing, etc. Of course my dad wants to come home and not go to a nursing home. I told her that she needed to have at least a plan B if plan A (taking care of him at home) won't work out. I am concerned about my mom's health and about my dad's anger (his failing body) being offloaded on my mom again...
My mom has spent all her days in the last weeks sitting next to my dad's bed. He is sleeping a lot. I told her it is enough if she goes there once a day for two hours. She doesn't have to sit there all day long.
Now off to my other topics: I just learned today that a friend here has lost her baby at 18 weeks. There was no heartbeat when she went to the doctor. I am so incredibly sad for her. Last week-end we talked about infertility and adoption. She told me that she and her husband really have to take precautions in order not to get pregnant. They already have two sons and this baby was a girl. She said that she could understand if I hated her. But I don't hate anybody who has the luck of becoming pregnant without having to undergo infertility. I don't wish infertility on anyone. It is one of the worst things I have ever been through. But I can't even imagine what she must be going through. When I had my two chemical pregnancies at least it was so early that I never saw a heart beating. I never felt a baby move inside me. There was a huge pain, but I can't imagine how heavy her heart must be today.
Now the water rationing all over the city has also reached our house. We only have water from 6-9 a.m. and from 7-10 p.m. The rest of the time you only hear a gurgling noise when you turn on the water. As long as I can shower, I am o.k. with this. But it is scary. I wanted to water the flowers until I remembered that we don't have water. Then I wanted to clean the dishes until I remembered that there is no water.
At least we have drinking water as we can't drink the water from the tab. Normally the rain season starts in May and last until November. Last season they had tons of mudslides and houses collapsing. On Russian Hill named after the Russian embassy on there two parking spaces of the embassy just slid down the hill. In Santa Fe some buildings lost their bathrooms and you can still see the tiles and the broken sink.
This year we have had barely any rain. Please send some rain over if you have any in your neck of the woods. I will send you some sunshine in return. People told me that after a while you get sick of the sunshine. I won't. But we do need some rain now. Maybe we can do raindance together.
The newest strike of the government: the government of the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela has deemed Coke Zero to contain a hazardous substance and has banned Coke Zero from the shelves.
My mom asked me for my advice on this: what would be the best solution for my family? I don't know. I know that she has taken care of my grandmother first, then my grandfather and now for the past nearly 4 years for my dad. I know that she is emotionally and physically drained. But she has to decide whether she wants to take care of my dad at home or whether he needs to go to a nursing home. The level of care he needs now has definitely increased. He can't use either of his arms or hands, he can't get up any more. At least she needs a service to come to the house to help with washing, etc. Of course my dad wants to come home and not go to a nursing home. I told her that she needed to have at least a plan B if plan A (taking care of him at home) won't work out. I am concerned about my mom's health and about my dad's anger (his failing body) being offloaded on my mom again...
My mom has spent all her days in the last weeks sitting next to my dad's bed. He is sleeping a lot. I told her it is enough if she goes there once a day for two hours. She doesn't have to sit there all day long.
Now off to my other topics: I just learned today that a friend here has lost her baby at 18 weeks. There was no heartbeat when she went to the doctor. I am so incredibly sad for her. Last week-end we talked about infertility and adoption. She told me that she and her husband really have to take precautions in order not to get pregnant. They already have two sons and this baby was a girl. She said that she could understand if I hated her. But I don't hate anybody who has the luck of becoming pregnant without having to undergo infertility. I don't wish infertility on anyone. It is one of the worst things I have ever been through. But I can't even imagine what she must be going through. When I had my two chemical pregnancies at least it was so early that I never saw a heart beating. I never felt a baby move inside me. There was a huge pain, but I can't imagine how heavy her heart must be today.
Now the water rationing all over the city has also reached our house. We only have water from 6-9 a.m. and from 7-10 p.m. The rest of the time you only hear a gurgling noise when you turn on the water. As long as I can shower, I am o.k. with this. But it is scary. I wanted to water the flowers until I remembered that we don't have water. Then I wanted to clean the dishes until I remembered that there is no water.
At least we have drinking water as we can't drink the water from the tab. Normally the rain season starts in May and last until November. Last season they had tons of mudslides and houses collapsing. On Russian Hill named after the Russian embassy on there two parking spaces of the embassy just slid down the hill. In Santa Fe some buildings lost their bathrooms and you can still see the tiles and the broken sink.
This year we have had barely any rain. Please send some rain over if you have any in your neck of the woods. I will send you some sunshine in return. People told me that after a while you get sick of the sunshine. I won't. But we do need some rain now. Maybe we can do raindance together.
The newest strike of the government: the government of the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela has deemed Coke Zero to contain a hazardous substance and has banned Coke Zero from the shelves.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
It's a roller coaster ride
This is starting to be a roller coaster ride like when we were waiting to be matched with a birthmother. After everything was stabilized my dad had another stroke. The third since 2005. While the last two strokes affected his left arm this one affected his right arm. So basically he can't use any of his arms anymore. He is now in the palliativ care of the hospital.
The good thing is that I finally got to talk to him. I told him I was sorry for the things I said when I was visiting. I told him how much I loved him and that it was o.k. to leave if he needed to. I promised him to take care of my mom. It doesn't look like he will be leaving this hospital any more.
The good thing is that I finally got to talk to him. I told him I was sorry for the things I said when I was visiting. I told him how much I loved him and that it was o.k. to leave if he needed to. I promised him to take care of my mom. It doesn't look like he will be leaving this hospital any more.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Stabilized
Thank you so much for all your prayers and good thoughts. My dad's situation seems to have stabilized for now. We all know that with his disease it is just a question of time until the next health crisis will come, but it looks like he is doing better for now. I am breathing a big sigh of relief as I write this.
Lilli just woke up. I have to go get her. Have a great day!
Lilli just woke up. I have to go get her. Have a great day!
Monday, June 1, 2009
Turn for the worse?
Just got off the phone with my mom. My dad got a fever this evening and it looks like things are taking a turn for the worse. We knew it would happen some day. But I am so not prepared to loose my dad. My mom is going back to the hospital and will be calling me afterwards. Please keep praying.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Another day
My dad received two blood transfusions today (from a young Spanish woman he hoped - that is his humor). He is not doing much better. His body is weak and he is barely eating anything. Just a little pudding. The last time he had a sepsis/pneumonia last year, he felt better much sooner. But the long fight and the chemotherapy have weakened his body. He said to my mom today that he doesn't know whether he will wake up tomorrow.
I told my mom that she needed to tell me if she wanted me to come. She told me she was concerned about the long travel for Lilli, because it was so hard on me last time. I told her that this was because I was sick. She then promised me to tell me if she needs me.
I gave her a little book about angels for Mother's day. It is about how an Angel is there for you to consolidate you if you feel you can't go on. She really likes this book and brought it to the hospital today and was reading it while my dad was sleeping. At least it seems like she is drawing some strength out of this.
I told my mom that she needed to tell me if she wanted me to come. She told me she was concerned about the long travel for Lilli, because it was so hard on me last time. I told her that this was because I was sick. She then promised me to tell me if she needs me.
I gave her a little book about angels for Mother's day. It is about how an Angel is there for you to consolidate you if you feel you can't go on. She really likes this book and brought it to the hospital today and was reading it while my dad was sleeping. At least it seems like she is drawing some strength out of this.
Another day
My dad received two blood transfusions today (from a young Spanish woman he hoped - that is his humor). He is not doing much better. His body is weak and he is barely eating anything. Just a little pudding. The last time he had a sepsis/pneumonia last year, he felt better much sooner. But the long fight and the chemotherapy have weakened his body. He said to my mom today that he doesn't know whether he will wake up tomorrow.
I told my mom that she needed to tell me if she wanted me to come. She told me she was concerned about the long travel for Lilli, because it was so hard on me last time. I told her that this was because I was sick. She then promised me to tell me if she needs me.
I gave her a little book about angels for Mother's day. It is about how an Angel is there for you to consolidate you if you feel you can't go on. She really likes this book and brought it to the hospital today and was reading it while my dad was sleeping. At least it seems like she is drawing some strength out of this.
I told my mom that she needed to tell me if she wanted me to come. She told me she was concerned about the long travel for Lilli, because it was so hard on me last time. I told her that this was because I was sick. She then promised me to tell me if she needs me.
I gave her a little book about angels for Mother's day. It is about how an Angel is there for you to consolidate you if you feel you can't go on. She really likes this book and brought it to the hospital today and was reading it while my dad was sleeping. At least it seems like she is drawing some strength out of this.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Update on my dad
Thank you so much for your prayers and thoughts. I can't tell you how much it means to me to have so many people praying for my dad and our family. When dh and I were praying last night, I felt like God was telling me that my dad will survive the night and that I shouldn't worry so much.
This morning I woke up really early and because of the time difference, I started calling my mom. Of course she wouldn't pick up the phone because she was in the hospital. I called my brother's cellphone. No answer. I ended up calling the hospital about a million times because the connection was cut off several times. Finally thanks Vonage I got through and ended up talking to a nurse. I was wondering whether she was going to be the one to tell me that my dad died last night.
Fortunately he has survived the night. It turns out he has pneumonia. Not a good thing to have if you are battling lung cancer at the same time. The doctor said that he is not doing very well. I didn't expect this to happen so fast. I haven't even talked to him a single time since I came back to Venezuela. I am so not ready to loose him.
This morning I woke up really early and because of the time difference, I started calling my mom. Of course she wouldn't pick up the phone because she was in the hospital. I called my brother's cellphone. No answer. I ended up calling the hospital about a million times because the connection was cut off several times. Finally thanks Vonage I got through and ended up talking to a nurse. I was wondering whether she was going to be the one to tell me that my dad died last night.
Fortunately he has survived the night. It turns out he has pneumonia. Not a good thing to have if you are battling lung cancer at the same time. The doctor said that he is not doing very well. I didn't expect this to happen so fast. I haven't even talked to him a single time since I came back to Venezuela. I am so not ready to loose him.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Prayers appreciated
Just got off the phone with my mom. My dad is in the hospital. He is septic. My mom and the doctor believe that he might not survive the night. I would appreciate any prayers.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
10 months post - a little late
Lilli turned 10 months on Sunday. We were at the beach for the weekend of Memorial Day. While it was a very basic place - we didn't have any fresh water supply in our lodge - we really enjoyed spending time as a family at the beach. Lilli had a great time. The first day she was a little frightened by the waves, but the two next days she just loved crawling around in the water, eating sand, spending time with Daddy, etc. It was just great. It was a two hour drive from Caracas, so not to bad either. Lilli ate all the food that they served us at the lodge. I felt like in heaven not having to cook for a couple of days.
Lilli's upper teeth are coming in. The right one is peeking through first. She can tolerate it o.k., but is a little more irritable than usual. She still is not walking by herself (except short distances), but I have a feeling that we are getting close. She seems to be getting safer in standing. She is smiling all the time at everybody, waving goodbye, blowing kisses. She is just supercute.
I also started working last week. The maid is watching Lilli while I am at work and I am only working part-time. This works really well, because it gives me a chance to get out of the house and talk to other adults. I will hire a nanny two days a week in addition, because I just got a second part-time job. It is nice to have an additional stream of income, even if it is very small...
A quick recap from my last post: that was the saddest birthday I ever had. I didn't get to talk to my Dad (he had tried calling while I was out and hasn't called since), and while I received tons of congratulations via email and facebook, I didn't get a single present. I had told dh before that the beach could be my birthday present. And it kind of was. The first night there he surprised me with a huge cake to share with everybody there. Very sweet. But I still had hoped for a little extra surprise: a facial, a haircut, pedicure, whatever... Women. Men will never understand us. When we say, we don't want anything does this not mean that you don't have to get us anything. It means you should still get us something as a little surprise. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it should be something we would enjoy...
Lilli's upper teeth are coming in. The right one is peeking through first. She can tolerate it o.k., but is a little more irritable than usual. She still is not walking by herself (except short distances), but I have a feeling that we are getting close. She seems to be getting safer in standing. She is smiling all the time at everybody, waving goodbye, blowing kisses. She is just supercute.
I also started working last week. The maid is watching Lilli while I am at work and I am only working part-time. This works really well, because it gives me a chance to get out of the house and talk to other adults. I will hire a nanny two days a week in addition, because I just got a second part-time job. It is nice to have an additional stream of income, even if it is very small...
A quick recap from my last post: that was the saddest birthday I ever had. I didn't get to talk to my Dad (he had tried calling while I was out and hasn't called since), and while I received tons of congratulations via email and facebook, I didn't get a single present. I had told dh before that the beach could be my birthday present. And it kind of was. The first night there he surprised me with a huge cake to share with everybody there. Very sweet. But I still had hoped for a little extra surprise: a facial, a haircut, pedicure, whatever... Women. Men will never understand us. When we say, we don't want anything does this not mean that you don't have to get us anything. It means you should still get us something as a little surprise. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it should be something we would enjoy...
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
5 years ago
It is my 35th birthday today. Five years ago I had a really big party at my parent's house. I had invited friends from all over the country to join us. We started on Friday night with a visit to a restaurant, had a guided tour through the city on Saturday morning and the party in the evening. On Sunday we had a farewell breakfast for everyone.
I was terrified of turning 30. I felt like an old woman and thought back to the days when I was 21. I only I could turn back time I thought back then. The fact that I wasn't married, made me sad.
When I was 16 I always thought by the time I am 25 I will be married with two children. The number 30 had something so threatening in my eyes.
In Northern Germany when you turn 30 as a woman and you aren't married you have to clean doorhandles. So my friends brought these doorhandles mounted on a piece of wood that were "dirty" with toothpaste and let me clean them. They gave me a headpiece and a cleaning lady dress. Whenever I had finished one they put more toothpaste on. It seemed like I was never going to be done. It was a lot of fun. I really enjoy thinking back now. I said to DH yesterday: five years ago we were so innocent. Little did we know about what was going to happen. Infertility hadn't kicked our asses back then. My dad didn't have his stroke. He didn't suffer from lung cancer. Life seemed so easy back then. We were happy and didn't worry about the future.
Here we go five years later: I am turning the corner for conception today. Everybody knows that trying to conceive when you are over 35 is more difficult and is considered high risk. Not that conception was ever easy for us, but I always thought at least I am under 35. Now that advantage point is gone. How I feel about it? The pain is still there, but having a child makes it a little more bearable. But if I could turn back time, I might turn it back five years.
I was terrified of turning 30. I felt like an old woman and thought back to the days when I was 21. I only I could turn back time I thought back then. The fact that I wasn't married, made me sad.
When I was 16 I always thought by the time I am 25 I will be married with two children. The number 30 had something so threatening in my eyes.
In Northern Germany when you turn 30 as a woman and you aren't married you have to clean doorhandles. So my friends brought these doorhandles mounted on a piece of wood that were "dirty" with toothpaste and let me clean them. They gave me a headpiece and a cleaning lady dress. Whenever I had finished one they put more toothpaste on. It seemed like I was never going to be done. It was a lot of fun. I really enjoy thinking back now. I said to DH yesterday: five years ago we were so innocent. Little did we know about what was going to happen. Infertility hadn't kicked our asses back then. My dad didn't have his stroke. He didn't suffer from lung cancer. Life seemed so easy back then. We were happy and didn't worry about the future.
Here we go five years later: I am turning the corner for conception today. Everybody knows that trying to conceive when you are over 35 is more difficult and is considered high risk. Not that conception was ever easy for us, but I always thought at least I am under 35. Now that advantage point is gone. How I feel about it? The pain is still there, but having a child makes it a little more bearable. But if I could turn back time, I might turn it back five years.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Unsolicited Advice
It has finally happened. At a happy hour last week this lady walked up to us and told us that she wanted to give us a recommendation. The shoes Lilli was wearing were bad for her and we should buy orthopedic shoes. She also recommended a brand. I know she didn't mean bad, but I felt like she was telling us we are bad parents for letting our daughter wear the wrong shoes.
For the record: I only had put shoes on her because she sometimes wants to walk (holding on to our hands) and I didn't want her to walk on the dirty floor barefoot. Usually she is not wearing any shoes at all because this is best. Of course I don't want her to get problems with her feet. Buying shoes for her is on the top of my priority list. But please Lady, give me a break... It is none of your business.
On Saturday we were at a birthday party. Lilli got up and walked through the room. Dh and I were just stunned.
We installed her big girl car seat yesterday. It is still facing backwards, but soon we will be able to turn it around. Lilli's long legs are kind of squeezed in right now.
For the record: I only had put shoes on her because she sometimes wants to walk (holding on to our hands) and I didn't want her to walk on the dirty floor barefoot. Usually she is not wearing any shoes at all because this is best. Of course I don't want her to get problems with her feet. Buying shoes for her is on the top of my priority list. But please Lady, give me a break... It is none of your business.
On Saturday we were at a birthday party. Lilli got up and walked through the room. Dh and I were just stunned.
We installed her big girl car seat yesterday. It is still facing backwards, but soon we will be able to turn it around. Lilli's long legs are kind of squeezed in right now.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Not what I thought it would be
I promised to blog about the trip to my family. It was really different from what I had expected it to be. The flight over there was pretty easy because Lilli was sleeping about 5 hours. I didn't really sleep a lot because I was always on the lookout for her jumping out of her baby bassinet. When we finally arrived, my brother picked us up from the airport. He always does it, when we ask him to and I am very grateful to be blessed with such a great brother and Lilli with such a great uncle.
We then drove to my parent's house and I was all excited. I had just seen them for Christmas, but my Dad didn't know it was going to be a surprise present for him for his 70th birthday. When we pulled into the driveway he was sitting outside. I let my brother go first and pulled Lilli out of the car. Finally my Dad noticed us. He was putting his hands in front of his face. He was so happy to see us as we clearly didn't expect our visit. Later that day I went to the city with my brother to buy a highchair for Lilli while my Mom was watching Lilli.
But the surprise and joy of this first day wore off quickly. It turns out that my Dad is very depressive. I mean, who wouldn't be after a stroke and with lung cancer? Nothing can be done the right way. He doesn't like the food my Mom cooks, she puts his clothes in the wrong place, etc. They are basically fighting all day long. Yelling at each other, etc. I think the problem is also that they are together 24 hours/day. My Dad is frustrated and the only person he can take his frustrations out on is my Mom. My Mom has so much work all day long with the house, garden and my Dad, that she is frustrated, too. It is a vicious cycle.
One day I talked to the doctor about getting my Dad on some antidepressants. The doctor came to our house and talked to my Dad and my Dad said that he didn't think it was necessary, but when I told my Dad how angry he is all the time, finally he agreed that it would be o.k. to take something. The doctor told me to get the prescription the next day. So I went down there and it turns out that all the antidepressants he had in mind cause epilepsy. My Dad has had epileptic seizures after his stroke that we finally have under control with medication. So we all thought, it probably wasn't a good idea to put him under the risk of epileptic seizures through the antidepressants. I felt horrible that there doesn't seem to be anything we can do about it.
Another day, I picked my Dad up from his chemotherapy with Lilli. It was so depressing to go through the practice and see all those people hanging on the IVs receiving their chemotherapies. I brought Lilli on purpose to cheer my Dad (and hopefully some of the other patients up). He was nearly ready. I noticed that his arm was unusually swollen. It turned out that they had given him the chemotherapy in his arm instead of his vein. They even blamed him because he didn't say anything. He told me later that when he felt pain, nobody was around to look after him. Because of his earlier vocal cords cancer (in 2002) he couldn't scream for help. Fortunately he didn't have any complications from this incident.
His aggressions even turned against me a couple of times. And it was very painful because he can be so mean. I realize that he is sick and all, but it was still hard. He threw a handkerchief with snot in it towards me once after he had threatened to beat me with his walking stick. All of this because I wanted to watch some TV while he was reading. My Dad loves to read and everything else is less important than him reading. I had even turned on the volume on a really low level. I was so angry after that behaviour I said some things I shouldn't have said.
The next day he treated me like everything was fine and this incident had never happened.
The other problem was that my Mom is reconstructing parts of the house. So we had to empty out those rooms (her bedroom and her kitchen amongst them) and were basically working every day.
Some friends from out of town had wanted to visit me, but she asked me to cancel the visit.
My Mom didn't really spend a lot of time with Lilli. She took her sometimes in the mornings when I had to shower, but that was basically it. She was working all day long and not really enjoying having her granddaughter around. I felt horrible of having brought Lilli in that difficult environment between my parents. I don't want her to remember her grandparents as fighting all the time. I don't want her to think this is normal.
The last evening when I came back from buying bread (for my Mom) she wasn't around. I had thought she might want to use our last evening to spend some time with Lilli and take her to bed at least. But she was working in her garden. I always feel like her garden is more important than anything else for her. Like us.
On our last morning the day of our flight my Mom gave me 50 Euros for "Shoes for Lilli". I felt really bad. She is spending a couple of hundred of thousands of Euros to reconstruct the house (she is not taking out a mortgage for this, she has the money in the bank) and she is not even offering to pay the gas to the airport. Or part of the flight (since they don't come visit us). Nothing. I have my birthday next Wednesday and she knows that she won't be able to buy me something.
I was really hurt by this especially because she still owed me some money for moving boxes I had bought (15 Euros) anyway. It just makes me sad that she has all that money, but she doesn't want to help us with our expenses while we are struggling to make ends meet. We still haven't paid off our adoption. And we still paid the flight to go to visit them. Because seeing them and spending time with them was more important for us than anything else. More important than books or a garden.
We then drove to my parent's house and I was all excited. I had just seen them for Christmas, but my Dad didn't know it was going to be a surprise present for him for his 70th birthday. When we pulled into the driveway he was sitting outside. I let my brother go first and pulled Lilli out of the car. Finally my Dad noticed us. He was putting his hands in front of his face. He was so happy to see us as we clearly didn't expect our visit. Later that day I went to the city with my brother to buy a highchair for Lilli while my Mom was watching Lilli.
But the surprise and joy of this first day wore off quickly. It turns out that my Dad is very depressive. I mean, who wouldn't be after a stroke and with lung cancer? Nothing can be done the right way. He doesn't like the food my Mom cooks, she puts his clothes in the wrong place, etc. They are basically fighting all day long. Yelling at each other, etc. I think the problem is also that they are together 24 hours/day. My Dad is frustrated and the only person he can take his frustrations out on is my Mom. My Mom has so much work all day long with the house, garden and my Dad, that she is frustrated, too. It is a vicious cycle.
One day I talked to the doctor about getting my Dad on some antidepressants. The doctor came to our house and talked to my Dad and my Dad said that he didn't think it was necessary, but when I told my Dad how angry he is all the time, finally he agreed that it would be o.k. to take something. The doctor told me to get the prescription the next day. So I went down there and it turns out that all the antidepressants he had in mind cause epilepsy. My Dad has had epileptic seizures after his stroke that we finally have under control with medication. So we all thought, it probably wasn't a good idea to put him under the risk of epileptic seizures through the antidepressants. I felt horrible that there doesn't seem to be anything we can do about it.
Another day, I picked my Dad up from his chemotherapy with Lilli. It was so depressing to go through the practice and see all those people hanging on the IVs receiving their chemotherapies. I brought Lilli on purpose to cheer my Dad (and hopefully some of the other patients up). He was nearly ready. I noticed that his arm was unusually swollen. It turned out that they had given him the chemotherapy in his arm instead of his vein. They even blamed him because he didn't say anything. He told me later that when he felt pain, nobody was around to look after him. Because of his earlier vocal cords cancer (in 2002) he couldn't scream for help. Fortunately he didn't have any complications from this incident.
His aggressions even turned against me a couple of times. And it was very painful because he can be so mean. I realize that he is sick and all, but it was still hard. He threw a handkerchief with snot in it towards me once after he had threatened to beat me with his walking stick. All of this because I wanted to watch some TV while he was reading. My Dad loves to read and everything else is less important than him reading. I had even turned on the volume on a really low level. I was so angry after that behaviour I said some things I shouldn't have said.
The next day he treated me like everything was fine and this incident had never happened.
The other problem was that my Mom is reconstructing parts of the house. So we had to empty out those rooms (her bedroom and her kitchen amongst them) and were basically working every day.
Some friends from out of town had wanted to visit me, but she asked me to cancel the visit.
My Mom didn't really spend a lot of time with Lilli. She took her sometimes in the mornings when I had to shower, but that was basically it. She was working all day long and not really enjoying having her granddaughter around. I felt horrible of having brought Lilli in that difficult environment between my parents. I don't want her to remember her grandparents as fighting all the time. I don't want her to think this is normal.
The last evening when I came back from buying bread (for my Mom) she wasn't around. I had thought she might want to use our last evening to spend some time with Lilli and take her to bed at least. But she was working in her garden. I always feel like her garden is more important than anything else for her. Like us.
On our last morning the day of our flight my Mom gave me 50 Euros for "Shoes for Lilli". I felt really bad. She is spending a couple of hundred of thousands of Euros to reconstruct the house (she is not taking out a mortgage for this, she has the money in the bank) and she is not even offering to pay the gas to the airport. Or part of the flight (since they don't come visit us). Nothing. I have my birthday next Wednesday and she knows that she won't be able to buy me something.
I was really hurt by this especially because she still owed me some money for moving boxes I had bought (15 Euros) anyway. It just makes me sad that she has all that money, but she doesn't want to help us with our expenses while we are struggling to make ends meet. We still haven't paid off our adoption. And we still paid the flight to go to visit them. Because seeing them and spending time with them was more important for us than anything else. More important than books or a garden.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Oh, what a flight...
I don't even know where to start to update you on everything that has been going on with us. Therefore I'll start with Miss Lillian.
She has started crawling the day we left for Europe. Poor daddy didn't get to see it before our trip. However, Lilli has a very strange way of doing it. One leg stays straight while the other one is moving around. But she doesn't seem to be willing to be convinced to do it any other way. It is Lilli's way. She has started saying "Da da!" all day long. I first thought it meant "Daddy", but now everything is Da da. When she wants to go somewhere she is pointing with her finger and says "Da da!" She also is waving like a champ and is blowing kisses (well, actually she is doing everything except the blowing thing). But it is very cute. If I ask her how tall she is, she is raising her arms up in the air and showing me how tall she is. She can also point to "Mommy's nose" and "Mommy's mouth".
She is eating little pieces very nicely by herself. Lilli loves cheese and if there is cheese on her tray, everything else stands back. But she also enjoys pasta and chicken. And most other foods we introduced her to. She has an amazing personality, always in a good mood (except if she is tired) and always looking to get a smile from someone. She is charming everybody.
Even the crew in the airplane during our long 10 hour airplane ride. I guess the stewards would have really liked to take her home. I had a really hard time during the flight. I had gotten sick the day before the flight with a very sore throat and a cold (no, not the swine flu, but rather a really nasty sinusitis) and had to blow my nose all the time. I hadn't slept a lot the two previous nights. Lilli was very active. She wasn't into sleeping so much as there were so many interesting things to see in the airplane. All the people that went to the bathroom were standing right in front of us, waiting and flirting with Lilli who was sitting in her baby bassinet. It was a long fight to get that bassinet, but it helps, especially if you are traveling alone on an international flight (Lufthansa offers them, I don't know about other airlines who do). Strangely instead of blocking the bassinet seats for people with children, they give them away to random travelers which ticks me off every time. This time I waited and waited at the gate until the end of boarding when they finally told the woman in the baby bassinet seat that refused to leave her seat that she would have two seats for herself if she changed. After we boarded I told the man sitting next to me (squeezed in between two more or less noisy and inquisitive babies) that there were free seats in the airplane and he happily left. It was nice to have an additional seat for Lilli as well.
When we finally arrived (have I mentioned that 10 hour flights can be very long when traveling with a baby by yourself?) I was sick and groggy. All I wanted to do was go to bed.
But lovely husband had cooked a wonderful meal in our slow cooker, so we enjoyed the "beer chicken with corn and rice". It was my first mother's day after all. Hubby had bought beautiful flowers and gave me a big box of chocolates and a beautiful silver bracelet. It was - despite the circumstances of my health - a wonderful day. I remember so well the last couple of mother's days where my heart was longing for a child. It was so hard to be at church during those days when they honored the mothers - and to not break out in tears. Most times I didn't succeed. Every year I hoped that it would finally be the last without a baby and this year, miraculously it is. It was the best mother's day of my life so far.
I wonder how Lilli's first mom felt on Sunday. It must have been hard for her for a completely different reason. I recently read that the Saturday before Mother's day is Birthmother's day. Has any one of you adopted moms (sorry, if I haven't caught up with all your blogs) honored your babies birthmother in a special way for that day? Or for mother's day? Or would that just add to their grief?
I will update on my trip another day. Now it's time to catch up with your blogs.
She has started crawling the day we left for Europe. Poor daddy didn't get to see it before our trip. However, Lilli has a very strange way of doing it. One leg stays straight while the other one is moving around. But she doesn't seem to be willing to be convinced to do it any other way. It is Lilli's way. She has started saying "Da da!" all day long. I first thought it meant "Daddy", but now everything is Da da. When she wants to go somewhere she is pointing with her finger and says "Da da!" She also is waving like a champ and is blowing kisses (well, actually she is doing everything except the blowing thing). But it is very cute. If I ask her how tall she is, she is raising her arms up in the air and showing me how tall she is. She can also point to "Mommy's nose" and "Mommy's mouth".
She is eating little pieces very nicely by herself. Lilli loves cheese and if there is cheese on her tray, everything else stands back. But she also enjoys pasta and chicken. And most other foods we introduced her to. She has an amazing personality, always in a good mood (except if she is tired) and always looking to get a smile from someone. She is charming everybody.
Even the crew in the airplane during our long 10 hour airplane ride. I guess the stewards would have really liked to take her home. I had a really hard time during the flight. I had gotten sick the day before the flight with a very sore throat and a cold (no, not the swine flu, but rather a really nasty sinusitis) and had to blow my nose all the time. I hadn't slept a lot the two previous nights. Lilli was very active. She wasn't into sleeping so much as there were so many interesting things to see in the airplane. All the people that went to the bathroom were standing right in front of us, waiting and flirting with Lilli who was sitting in her baby bassinet. It was a long fight to get that bassinet, but it helps, especially if you are traveling alone on an international flight (Lufthansa offers them, I don't know about other airlines who do). Strangely instead of blocking the bassinet seats for people with children, they give them away to random travelers which ticks me off every time. This time I waited and waited at the gate until the end of boarding when they finally told the woman in the baby bassinet seat that refused to leave her seat that she would have two seats for herself if she changed. After we boarded I told the man sitting next to me (squeezed in between two more or less noisy and inquisitive babies) that there were free seats in the airplane and he happily left. It was nice to have an additional seat for Lilli as well.
When we finally arrived (have I mentioned that 10 hour flights can be very long when traveling with a baby by yourself?) I was sick and groggy. All I wanted to do was go to bed.
But lovely husband had cooked a wonderful meal in our slow cooker, so we enjoyed the "beer chicken with corn and rice". It was my first mother's day after all. Hubby had bought beautiful flowers and gave me a big box of chocolates and a beautiful silver bracelet. It was - despite the circumstances of my health - a wonderful day. I remember so well the last couple of mother's days where my heart was longing for a child. It was so hard to be at church during those days when they honored the mothers - and to not break out in tears. Most times I didn't succeed. Every year I hoped that it would finally be the last without a baby and this year, miraculously it is. It was the best mother's day of my life so far.
I wonder how Lilli's first mom felt on Sunday. It must have been hard for her for a completely different reason. I recently read that the Saturday before Mother's day is Birthmother's day. Has any one of you adopted moms (sorry, if I haven't caught up with all your blogs) honored your babies birthmother in a special way for that day? Or for mother's day? Or would that just add to their grief?
I will update on my trip another day. Now it's time to catch up with your blogs.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
9 month doctor visit
Because we are traveling next week, we went to Lilli's 9 months doctor visit this morning. The challenge for this visit was to actually talk to someone on the phone to schedule the visit. I tried first on Tuesday afternoon and all the phone lines were busy non-stop. Then I finally got to talk to someone and she just gave me additional numbers and said that I needed to call there to schedule a well-baby visit. So I called those lines. I was on hold for a very long time. After about 10 minutes I hung up. I tried it several times again, but had no success. Then finally yesterday in the morning I was able to talk to someone (in Spanish which made me kind of proud since it is more difficult on the phone than in person) and schedule a visit for today.
Lilli is now 8.97 kilos light which is 73th percentile for weight and she is 78 cm long which is 99th percentile for length. We know that she will be a tall girl.
The doctor was very nice and took a lot of time with her. He has studied in the US and speaks perfect English. He even gave us his cellphone number for us to call in case of an emergency. He answered his cellphone twice during our appointment. He told us that he wants to see her again next month. While I am excited that I will be able to track her weight gain and her growth more closely, I am very surprised that they are monitoring the children so closely here for the first year. It means three more doctor's visits until she turns one.
Apart from that it was similar to a visit in the US. He asked us whether she was crawling. She is pretty close and moving around a lot on her playmat. She can do a 360 and she can creep a little bit if she really needs to reach a toy. She can put herself in a sitting position from laying on the floor. She can walk holding onto my hands or with the walker. She is also starting to pull herself up on us or furniture.
The doctor told us that she is in excellent health. We were glad to hear that. We must be doing something right.
I feel so blessed with this wonderful, healthy baby. I can't believe that we are already celebrating her 9 month birthday next week. I am very excited to travel next week to Europe. My only concern right now is getting to the airport and getting help with the luggage. Traveling by myself with a baby, some suitcases, and a stroller is a challenging and scary thing. I hope that Lilli will be good on the plane. I pray that I will get a baby crib on the plane.
Lilli is now 8.97 kilos light which is 73th percentile for weight and she is 78 cm long which is 99th percentile for length. We know that she will be a tall girl.
The doctor was very nice and took a lot of time with her. He has studied in the US and speaks perfect English. He even gave us his cellphone number for us to call in case of an emergency. He answered his cellphone twice during our appointment. He told us that he wants to see her again next month. While I am excited that I will be able to track her weight gain and her growth more closely, I am very surprised that they are monitoring the children so closely here for the first year. It means three more doctor's visits until she turns one.
Apart from that it was similar to a visit in the US. He asked us whether she was crawling. She is pretty close and moving around a lot on her playmat. She can do a 360 and she can creep a little bit if she really needs to reach a toy. She can put herself in a sitting position from laying on the floor. She can walk holding onto my hands or with the walker. She is also starting to pull herself up on us or furniture.
The doctor told us that she is in excellent health. We were glad to hear that. We must be doing something right.
I feel so blessed with this wonderful, healthy baby. I can't believe that we are already celebrating her 9 month birthday next week. I am very excited to travel next week to Europe. My only concern right now is getting to the airport and getting help with the luggage. Traveling by myself with a baby, some suitcases, and a stroller is a challenging and scary thing. I hope that Lilli will be good on the plane. I pray that I will get a baby crib on the plane.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Happy Easter and bad news
My sweet Easter bunny.
We received a letter from the agency today. Anxiously we opened the envelope to find a letter from Lilli's first Mom. She wrote that she wanted to give us some space in the next months because our next update isn't due until Lilli's first birthday. But she wrote that she had a problem and has lost her apartment with everything in it - her clothes and all the pictures of Lilli. My heart hurts for her. I can't even comprehend what she must be going through.
Fortunately we had sent copies of our pictures to the agency and they will send her the copies. I am relieved that Lilli doesn't have to go through losing a home. She might have moved a little to often for her age, but at least she has a home.
Also we will write her and send some updated pictures of our little angel. She signed "Milk" today for the first time. Every day I am so grateful to be her Mom.
Bad news from my Dad. They found another tumor in his lung area. Just last month they said his X-ray looked better than ever. He needs chemotherapy again. I bet having us there for a couple of weeks will help him go through this. Last week we had our one year anniversary of his diagnosis. We are just glad that he is still alive and doing relatively well.
Please keep him and Lilli's birthmom in your prayers.
We received a letter from the agency today. Anxiously we opened the envelope to find a letter from Lilli's first Mom. She wrote that she wanted to give us some space in the next months because our next update isn't due until Lilli's first birthday. But she wrote that she had a problem and has lost her apartment with everything in it - her clothes and all the pictures of Lilli. My heart hurts for her. I can't even comprehend what she must be going through.
Fortunately we had sent copies of our pictures to the agency and they will send her the copies. I am relieved that Lilli doesn't have to go through losing a home. She might have moved a little to often for her age, but at least she has a home.
Also we will write her and send some updated pictures of our little angel. She signed "Milk" today for the first time. Every day I am so grateful to be her Mom.
Bad news from my Dad. They found another tumor in his lung area. Just last month they said his X-ray looked better than ever. He needs chemotherapy again. I bet having us there for a couple of weeks will help him go through this. Last week we had our one year anniversary of his diagnosis. We are just glad that he is still alive and doing relatively well.
Please keep him and Lilli's birthmom in your prayers.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
What a party!
Yesterday Lilli and I went with some friends to a Easter party. The playgroups here are not really institutionalized. They are much more informal meetings with a mailing list. Because there are not many places to go with young children, people just host the playgroups in their houses. There is one playgroup that is international and this is the one we visited.
After driving around for more than an hour (have I mentioned that Caracas traffic is horrible?) and trying to find the location, we finally made it. We took the elevator to the penthouse and walked up the stairs to the terrace. What an experience! There were about 30 Moms with about 40 children. Most of the Moms had brought their nannies with them so that they could chat in calm while their nannies where watching and taking care of the kids.
They had a huge buffet with fingerfood. Meatballs with a noodle as a stick, chicken nuggets, hummus, other sauces, breadsticks,... There was a hot dog stand. They even had a jumping castle. The terrace was full of children playing with the different cars and toys that were available to drive around. There was a table with playdough and some other mass to make some crafts. There was a huge Easter bunny at the wall where children had to put eggs on with a blindfold. They even had an Easter egg hunt. I was incredibly impressed. I wouldn't be surprised if that would have been a birthday party or something... But that was just a random Wednesday afternoon before Easter.
Today we had a coffee with some friends on the terrace of a nice coffee place. First a kid approached and wanted money. We just send him away. When a guy approached us from the street, he showed us a letter and told my friend he was collecting money for a dead police officer. I couldn't read the letter that he had in hand. I usually would have just told him "No" and wouldn't have cared about it any more.
But my friend actually grabbed some money out of her wallet and gave it to him. I was surprised and asked her why she had given him money. She was nearly trembling and said she gave him money because he had a gun in his pocket. I hadn't even noticed that. She was concerned that if she wouldn't give him anything, he would just pull out the gun and ask for her whole purse. It seems to be better not to sit on terraces that can be approached from the street.
After driving around for more than an hour (have I mentioned that Caracas traffic is horrible?) and trying to find the location, we finally made it. We took the elevator to the penthouse and walked up the stairs to the terrace. What an experience! There were about 30 Moms with about 40 children. Most of the Moms had brought their nannies with them so that they could chat in calm while their nannies where watching and taking care of the kids.
They had a huge buffet with fingerfood. Meatballs with a noodle as a stick, chicken nuggets, hummus, other sauces, breadsticks,... There was a hot dog stand. They even had a jumping castle. The terrace was full of children playing with the different cars and toys that were available to drive around. There was a table with playdough and some other mass to make some crafts. There was a huge Easter bunny at the wall where children had to put eggs on with a blindfold. They even had an Easter egg hunt. I was incredibly impressed. I wouldn't be surprised if that would have been a birthday party or something... But that was just a random Wednesday afternoon before Easter.
Today we had a coffee with some friends on the terrace of a nice coffee place. First a kid approached and wanted money. We just send him away. When a guy approached us from the street, he showed us a letter and told my friend he was collecting money for a dead police officer. I couldn't read the letter that he had in hand. I usually would have just told him "No" and wouldn't have cared about it any more.
But my friend actually grabbed some money out of her wallet and gave it to him. I was surprised and asked her why she had given him money. She was nearly trembling and said she gave him money because he had a gun in his pocket. I hadn't even noticed that. She was concerned that if she wouldn't give him anything, he would just pull out the gun and ask for her whole purse. It seems to be better not to sit on terraces that can be approached from the street.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
First sign!
I am so happy for my blog friend Bri. She and her husband just adopted a baby girl. I can't wait to see pictures and get her update on the whole story. I am especially happy, because she really had a hard time recently. Her baby sister is pregnant from a one night stand with twins and her SIL has just given birth to twins. How fantastic that her little girl will be able to grow up with all the children in Bri's life.
Lilli made her first sign yesterday. It is unbelievable how fast she picked it up, especially because I haven't really been that consistent with it. When I was changing her diaper and I made the "change diaper" sign with my hands, Lilli made the sign as well. It looked more like the "all done" sign to me, but I guess she is still practising. But I was very impressed that she actually answered with a sign.
I also have good news from the port. After our stuff was packed out in October and shipped in January and has been cruising around the Carribean for a while, it finally made it to the port last week. Now it will be only a matter of weeks until we get it, maybe even before Easter. We haven't seen it for 6 months and I don't even remember what we have. I realized how little you actually need in the past couple of months. But I tell you moving with a baby and without all the baby things (swings, exersaucers, etc.) isn't easy. Fortunately it seems like it is all coming together now.
I also received a new job. Will work part time as a Special Project Coordinator. They basically call me when they need me. The only thing I have to take care of is childcare. I wonder how difficult it is going to be. We want to ask our maid whether she wants to move in with us. That would be perfect because then we would also have a babysitter...
Tomorrow I will book my flight to Europe for Lilli and me. Dh unfortunately will have to work while we are there. I am very excited to see my family.
Lilli made her first sign yesterday. It is unbelievable how fast she picked it up, especially because I haven't really been that consistent with it. When I was changing her diaper and I made the "change diaper" sign with my hands, Lilli made the sign as well. It looked more like the "all done" sign to me, but I guess she is still practising. But I was very impressed that she actually answered with a sign.
I also have good news from the port. After our stuff was packed out in October and shipped in January and has been cruising around the Carribean for a while, it finally made it to the port last week. Now it will be only a matter of weeks until we get it, maybe even before Easter. We haven't seen it for 6 months and I don't even remember what we have. I realized how little you actually need in the past couple of months. But I tell you moving with a baby and without all the baby things (swings, exersaucers, etc.) isn't easy. Fortunately it seems like it is all coming together now.
I also received a new job. Will work part time as a Special Project Coordinator. They basically call me when they need me. The only thing I have to take care of is childcare. I wonder how difficult it is going to be. We want to ask our maid whether she wants to move in with us. That would be perfect because then we would also have a babysitter...
Tomorrow I will book my flight to Europe for Lilli and me. Dh unfortunately will have to work while we are there. I am very excited to see my family.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
8 months old!!
Today is Lilli's 8 month birthday! It is hard to believe that our little sweetheart is already 8 months old.
Her personality is amazing. She is a lot of fun to hang out with and to play with. But she also has started little temper tantrums if she doesn't get what she wants. Usually it involves her trying to bite me. If my arm is not available she uses her own arm...
Her single tooth has some company now. The other tooth right next to it is coming as well. It doesn't seem to bother her.
Last Friday we received a walker from some colleagues of dh. It took Lilli about 5 seconds to figure out how she can walk in it. She is very mobile with it and I have to keep running behind her to make sure that she doesn't open the drawers or fall down the stairs. It would be time to babyproof the apartment.
Unfortunately we still don't have our stuff. It was shipped in Mid January. The trip from Miami to here only takes about 4 days. But the port here is not able to unload more than one ship at a time. Therefore our stuff has been cruising around the Carribean and was probably send to Aruba for a while to hang out. It might come back here this week, but who knows? It will then probably take another month until we finally get it. But then we will be able to babyproof everything.
Her personality is amazing. She is a lot of fun to hang out with and to play with. But she also has started little temper tantrums if she doesn't get what she wants. Usually it involves her trying to bite me. If my arm is not available she uses her own arm...
Her single tooth has some company now. The other tooth right next to it is coming as well. It doesn't seem to bother her.
Last Friday we received a walker from some colleagues of dh. It took Lilli about 5 seconds to figure out how she can walk in it. She is very mobile with it and I have to keep running behind her to make sure that she doesn't open the drawers or fall down the stairs. It would be time to babyproof the apartment.
Unfortunately we still don't have our stuff. It was shipped in Mid January. The trip from Miami to here only takes about 4 days. But the port here is not able to unload more than one ship at a time. Therefore our stuff has been cruising around the Carribean and was probably send to Aruba for a while to hang out. It might come back here this week, but who knows? It will then probably take another month until we finally get it. But then we will be able to babyproof everything.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
MA-MA and Baby Sign Language
This morning Lilli said Ma-Ma for the very first time. I had been practising with her for quite a while, repeating "MA-MA" over and over, but she was always only smiling at me when I repeated myself over and over again. It was so nice to hear her say it for the first time today.
Lilli has also learned to get from a sitting position into a laying position. She loves to eat the corner pieces of her playmat (I don't like that, who knows what is in it). She can't sit up by herself yet, but I guess it will be just a question of weeks. When we hold down her legs she is able to go from a lying to a sitting position (love those abs).
I also started baby sign language with her. I hope it will help her as she is growing up trilingual (we think). Dh speaks English, I speak German and we hope she will pick up some Spanish on the way (from our maid or daycare or people on the street). The book we have says it is easier for them to learn different languages when the same signs are used in both languages. I have started signing "Milk", "Sleep", "More", "All done", and "Diaper change". I wonder whether you guys are signing, too, or will be signing in the future, so please feel free to share any comments or experiences you have made with signing.
Lilli has also learned to get from a sitting position into a laying position. She loves to eat the corner pieces of her playmat (I don't like that, who knows what is in it). She can't sit up by herself yet, but I guess it will be just a question of weeks. When we hold down her legs she is able to go from a lying to a sitting position (love those abs).
I also started baby sign language with her. I hope it will help her as she is growing up trilingual (we think). Dh speaks English, I speak German and we hope she will pick up some Spanish on the way (from our maid or daycare or people on the street). The book we have says it is easier for them to learn different languages when the same signs are used in both languages. I have started signing "Milk", "Sleep", "More", "All done", and "Diaper change". I wonder whether you guys are signing, too, or will be signing in the future, so please feel free to share any comments or experiences you have made with signing.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
First tooth is here!
I was right about my post about teething. Lilli really was teething. Her first tooth appeared this morning. DH couldn't feel it. But I can feel and see it. She even already tried to bite me with it when I was trying to put her seatbelt back on after I had taken her out of her stroller for a while.
It is wonderful to see her development and I think I might send a letter to her birthmother to let her know. She has sent us this beautiful blanket and bunny for Christmas and I had thought it was a present from the agency. They didn't write anything with it, so I just assumed they send out presents to all the babies. Was I wrong. We had received another letter from Lilli's birthmom and only then I realized that those presents were from her. She really is amazing and I really hope that Lilli will be able to meet her some day. She is writing beautiful letters and still is at peace with her adoption plan. I am so grateful for that.
It is wonderful to see her development and I think I might send a letter to her birthmother to let her know. She has sent us this beautiful blanket and bunny for Christmas and I had thought it was a present from the agency. They didn't write anything with it, so I just assumed they send out presents to all the babies. Was I wrong. We had received another letter from Lilli's birthmom and only then I realized that those presents were from her. She really is amazing and I really hope that Lilli will be able to meet her some day. She is writing beautiful letters and still is at peace with her adoption plan. I am so grateful for that.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Finally an end
So this weird cycle has finally come to an end. Yesterday AF came to visit. It was the first time for a very, very long time that I was kind of relieved to see her. As an infertile it is so hard to have her visit. You are always waiting on her being late and hope that she might not come at all for a couple of months. But then as soon as you have taken a pregnancy test, just an hour later she is ringing your door bell.
This was the weirdest cycle ever. I have now started again with my BCP. I walked this morning with Lilli and two friends about 3 miles. Afterwards I swam some laps in the pool (our maid was watching Lilli) with one of my friends here in the house. And now I feel like I want to go back to bed. Instead I will have to get some lunch ready for me and Lilli. She is just taking a nap as I am writing this.
Good news on my dad. He is back from the hospital and seems to be doing much better. He had 3 liters of fluids in his lung. I am so excited that we are going to visit my family in April for a couple of days... They will be so excited about everything Lilli is doing now.
I am so glad that we finally have our car. And now I have to confess something. We had bought an SUV (Nissan Pathfinder) for here. Our tank was empty on Saturday. We had it filled for 6,60 Bolivares Fuertes. That is about $1,25. Have I told you that Venezuela is one of the countries with the cheapest gas in the world?
This was the weirdest cycle ever. I have now started again with my BCP. I walked this morning with Lilli and two friends about 3 miles. Afterwards I swam some laps in the pool (our maid was watching Lilli) with one of my friends here in the house. And now I feel like I want to go back to bed. Instead I will have to get some lunch ready for me and Lilli. She is just taking a nap as I am writing this.
Good news on my dad. He is back from the hospital and seems to be doing much better. He had 3 liters of fluids in his lung. I am so excited that we are going to visit my family in April for a couple of days... They will be so excited about everything Lilli is doing now.
I am so glad that we finally have our car. And now I have to confess something. We had bought an SUV (Nissan Pathfinder) for here. Our tank was empty on Saturday. We had it filled for 6,60 Bolivares Fuertes. That is about $1,25. Have I told you that Venezuela is one of the countries with the cheapest gas in the world?
Friday, March 13, 2009
Teething???
I believe Lilli is teething. This time for real - maybe. She has been a little cranky lately, her cheeks seem fuller and she is having some white spots in her gums where there will be teeth in the future - hopefully. She doesn't have a single teeth in her mouth yet, but has started to eat crackers and grissini. She loves both.
Today we were at a playdate and I gave her a cracker from a plate. After she ate it I found out that the cracker had honey in it. I felt like a horrible mother endangering my baby like this. I should have asked before I gave her the cracker.
Our car has arrived today. That will make our lives much easier as we won't have to always ask people to take us to places like in the past. But driving here is a completely different story. The rules are very different from driving in any other country. Traffic lights and stop signs are ignored and people that enter a circle have the priority. Traffic is horrible here. It takes a long time to get to other parts of the city. Yesterday I went with a friend to pick up a high chair for Lilli. It was sold by a woman with twins who was about to leave the country. It is made out of plastic, but easy to clean and turns into a chair and playtable once she is older. Until now we put her in her bouncer, but because she can sit, she tried to sit and look around, nearly topping over the bouncer. She has definitely outgrown it.
AF hasn't been visiting. I am on cycleday 42 today. I guess now I can make an appointment to see a doctor. There is a particular one that is specialized in Endo that I would like to see.
I haven't done any more tests, but I know that I am not pregnant. But sometimes I think like Mel in her post: If I only pee at the right moment I could be.
Today we were at a playdate and I gave her a cracker from a plate. After she ate it I found out that the cracker had honey in it. I felt like a horrible mother endangering my baby like this. I should have asked before I gave her the cracker.
Our car has arrived today. That will make our lives much easier as we won't have to always ask people to take us to places like in the past. But driving here is a completely different story. The rules are very different from driving in any other country. Traffic lights and stop signs are ignored and people that enter a circle have the priority. Traffic is horrible here. It takes a long time to get to other parts of the city. Yesterday I went with a friend to pick up a high chair for Lilli. It was sold by a woman with twins who was about to leave the country. It is made out of plastic, but easy to clean and turns into a chair and playtable once she is older. Until now we put her in her bouncer, but because she can sit, she tried to sit and look around, nearly topping over the bouncer. She has definitely outgrown it.
AF hasn't been visiting. I am on cycleday 42 today. I guess now I can make an appointment to see a doctor. There is a particular one that is specialized in Endo that I would like to see.
I haven't done any more tests, but I know that I am not pregnant. But sometimes I think like Mel in her post: If I only pee at the right moment I could be.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
The infertile and the unwed teenage mother
We just got back from a truly rewarding experience. We visited a home for unwed teenage mothers. It is run by the church and there are 11 nuns taking care of about 45 girls from ages 10-17 who are mothers themselves. They have just born babies to young children (the oldest being about 5) there, the majority of the girls is really young and has really small babies. The youngest baby was just 12 days old and some girls were pregnant.
They receive some education at this place and have everything they need in the sense of clothing for the children, food, and toys. But what they are missing is love. Most of these girls come from abusive homes or have been raped by their fathers, uncles or stepfathers. The purpose of this home is to teach how to love their children and to educate them so that they can find a job once they have to leave the home with 18.
All the girls were so grateful and happy for our visit. That there was someone that was coming just to see them. There was particularly one girl I connected with. She was 15. We smiled at each other and just knew that we liked each other. Showed me the small room she lives in with her 9 month old baby. I learned from the lady we went with that this is a sign that they really connect with you. We took Lilli with us and through her it was so easy connecting with the girls. They all liked her and wanted to hold her.
There was I, the infertile 34 year old who for such a long time desperately wanted to become a mother building bridges through my adopted daughter with girls 20 years younger than me who were forced to become mothers way to young against their will. We were coming from completely different background and had so completely different stories and we were still able to connect. I am planning on taking my camera next time and take some pictures of the girls with their babies.
There was one baby: Carlitos, 10 months old. His mother had to be taken to a psychiatric hospital a couple of months ago. Carlitos is now being taken care of by the nuns and the other mothers. But you could tell that he was missing to have a mom to take care of him. The nuns have asked for a termination of parental rights (his mother nearly killed him) and there was an assessment. But it could take a couple of months until a decision is being taken. The mother (she is 14) might recover, but it is not known at this point whether she will be able to take care of him. The home would love for him to be adopted into a loving family, but it is a difficult process here.
They receive some education at this place and have everything they need in the sense of clothing for the children, food, and toys. But what they are missing is love. Most of these girls come from abusive homes or have been raped by their fathers, uncles or stepfathers. The purpose of this home is to teach how to love their children and to educate them so that they can find a job once they have to leave the home with 18.
All the girls were so grateful and happy for our visit. That there was someone that was coming just to see them. There was particularly one girl I connected with. She was 15. We smiled at each other and just knew that we liked each other. Showed me the small room she lives in with her 9 month old baby. I learned from the lady we went with that this is a sign that they really connect with you. We took Lilli with us and through her it was so easy connecting with the girls. They all liked her and wanted to hold her.
There was I, the infertile 34 year old who for such a long time desperately wanted to become a mother building bridges through my adopted daughter with girls 20 years younger than me who were forced to become mothers way to young against their will. We were coming from completely different background and had so completely different stories and we were still able to connect. I am planning on taking my camera next time and take some pictures of the girls with their babies.
There was one baby: Carlitos, 10 months old. His mother had to be taken to a psychiatric hospital a couple of months ago. Carlitos is now being taken care of by the nuns and the other mothers. But you could tell that he was missing to have a mom to take care of him. The nuns have asked for a termination of parental rights (his mother nearly killed him) and there was an assessment. But it could take a couple of months until a decision is being taken. The mother (she is 14) might recover, but it is not known at this point whether she will be able to take care of him. The home would love for him to be adopted into a loving family, but it is a difficult process here.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
One glass to many
Last night we went to a Happy Hour. Our regular babysitter had a party to go to, so we thought we were taking Lilli. But then one of our neighbors who has two girls herself volunteered to babysit. We gratefully took her up on that offer.
The Happy Hour was at the house of one of dh's colleagues. It was fantastic. Very nice people there. I had a great time and maybe one glass to many. I started with red wine and chatted away. Then I wanted to pour more red wine. I still had some left in my glass, but I just felt I needed some more. So I poured. Turned out I poured Chardonnay in my red wine. I hadn't looked at the label and made my own rose. After that I continued with Chardonnay. Very nice Chardonnay. Maybe a little too much.
When we got home, we picked up Lilli. Our neighbor was disappointed that she didn't stay the whole night. We hadn't really discussed this before and just assumed we were going to pick her up. Her girls (they are 4 and 5) were very disappointed this morning after waking up: "Where is the baby???"
Lilli woke up during the night. I think she had a nightmare or something because she was just crying inconsolable. I then gave her something to drink to soothe her. I hope that won't mean that she will wake up every night now for a little drink.
When I went back to bed, I lay awake for a long time. Wine does that to me. I don't sleep well after drinking too much. Then I dreamed that it was already 8 a.m. and I had overslept. We went to the market this morning and had planned on leaving around 7:30 a.m. Finally I realized that it couldn't be so late yet, because it was still dark outside.
At 7 a.m. I finally got up, but I feel like crap this morning and still feel tired and exhausted. Dh and I had planned a movie night for tonight. I wonder whether I can keep my eyes open.
I usually don't drink a lot. I am always the designated driver, because I don't mind not drinking. While we were TTC, I didn't want to reduce my chances by alcohol (I wonder why all those girls get pregnant while they get laid drunk). So I was avoiding alcohol where I could. but I guess it doesn't really matter right now. Those rotten ovaries of mine are not producing any good eggs anyways...
Sew: I had some testing done after my second miscarriage and the doctors didn't find any blood clotting disorder. It is probably an egg quality issue, but they aren't really sure. I wish there was something I could do to improve egg quality...
The Happy Hour was at the house of one of dh's colleagues. It was fantastic. Very nice people there. I had a great time and maybe one glass to many. I started with red wine and chatted away. Then I wanted to pour more red wine. I still had some left in my glass, but I just felt I needed some more. So I poured. Turned out I poured Chardonnay in my red wine. I hadn't looked at the label and made my own rose. After that I continued with Chardonnay. Very nice Chardonnay. Maybe a little too much.
When we got home, we picked up Lilli. Our neighbor was disappointed that she didn't stay the whole night. We hadn't really discussed this before and just assumed we were going to pick her up. Her girls (they are 4 and 5) were very disappointed this morning after waking up: "Where is the baby???"
Lilli woke up during the night. I think she had a nightmare or something because she was just crying inconsolable. I then gave her something to drink to soothe her. I hope that won't mean that she will wake up every night now for a little drink.
When I went back to bed, I lay awake for a long time. Wine does that to me. I don't sleep well after drinking too much. Then I dreamed that it was already 8 a.m. and I had overslept. We went to the market this morning and had planned on leaving around 7:30 a.m. Finally I realized that it couldn't be so late yet, because it was still dark outside.
At 7 a.m. I finally got up, but I feel like crap this morning and still feel tired and exhausted. Dh and I had planned a movie night for tonight. I wonder whether I can keep my eyes open.
I usually don't drink a lot. I am always the designated driver, because I don't mind not drinking. While we were TTC, I didn't want to reduce my chances by alcohol (I wonder why all those girls get pregnant while they get laid drunk). So I was avoiding alcohol where I could. but I guess it doesn't really matter right now. Those rotten ovaries of mine are not producing any good eggs anyways...
Sew: I had some testing done after my second miscarriage and the doctors didn't find any blood clotting disorder. It is probably an egg quality issue, but they aren't really sure. I wish there was something I could do to improve egg quality...
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Nope
Hubby brought home a pregnancy test yesterday. As expected I am NOT pregnant. So now I am wondering: is it menopause already? First I get my period every 20 days and now it has said goodbye and isn't showing up at all... Weird. I wonder what is going on. I guess I will have to go and see a doctor one of those days.
I have spent way to much time on the computer recently. It is my only connection to the outside world right now. We still don't have our car here, therefore I feel sometimes a little isolated.
I am going for a coffee with a new friend I made here. Have all a great day!!!
I have spent way to much time on the computer recently. It is my only connection to the outside world right now. We still don't have our car here, therefore I feel sometimes a little isolated.
I am going for a coffee with a new friend I made here. Have all a great day!!!
Monday, March 2, 2009
Update on my dad
I haven't written about my dad's health for a while. He has been doing o.k. without any major health crisis. In October he had a metastasis in his pelvic area, but radiation took care of it.
Two weeks ago he was admitted back to the hospital after being really weak after a procedure in a doctor's office. The hospital found water in his lungs and bacteria in his blood which they suspected came from the port through which the Chemotherapy is administered. He had a surgery to take out the port and was sent home. The water in his lung was ignored. He was sent home last week.
Today my mom took him to the doctor for an ultrasound. It turns out the water was still there. A lot. The doctor send him to a specialist. The specialist sent him to another hospital. They drained 2,5 liters of water out of his lung. He seems to be doing alright. I can't believe that they ignored this issue at the other hospital...
Two weeks ago he was admitted back to the hospital after being really weak after a procedure in a doctor's office. The hospital found water in his lungs and bacteria in his blood which they suspected came from the port through which the Chemotherapy is administered. He had a surgery to take out the port and was sent home. The water in his lung was ignored. He was sent home last week.
Today my mom took him to the doctor for an ultrasound. It turns out the water was still there. A lot. The doctor send him to a specialist. The specialist sent him to another hospital. They drained 2,5 liters of water out of his lung. He seems to be doing alright. I can't believe that they ignored this issue at the other hospital...
Saturday, February 28, 2009
AF MIA!
Here I am sitting a couple of days later and still no AF. I have now stopped taking the BCP because I don't want to risk anything. But I still don't believe that I could be pregnant. No symptoms except the constipation... I still couldn't do a test, but dh has ordered one in the US. I don't know how long it will take to arrive here so I have to wait and see.
I believe more in some kind of strange screw up in my body. A cyst, anything else. Everything else is more likely than that I would get pregnant again while on the pill. I don't even want to allow myself to think about that possibility. But it keeps on coming back on my mind. I will keep you posted.
I believe more in some kind of strange screw up in my body. A cyst, anything else. Everything else is more likely than that I would get pregnant again while on the pill. I don't even want to allow myself to think about that possibility. But it keeps on coming back on my mind. I will keep you posted.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Advice needed!
Yesterday on her 7 month birthday Lilli learned how to clap her hands together. I am very impressed. She is not able to make a noise yet, but she loves it and you can see how proud she is for her clapping skills. She has also mastered the skill of turning on her musical mobile in her crib all by herself. This morning suddenly I heard the music turned on by her. We have moved her crib today and she will sleep in her own room tonight for the very first time...
I had mentioned here before that my cycles have been so screwed up recently. I had those short cycles of 21 days and went on the BCP to get them back in sync. I wanted a smooth transition with the move and everything going on. I started on day one of my cycle a couple of months ago. But I still got my period way to early day 21-23 of the cycle. In December I stopped and started again 27 days ago after getting my period. I am now taking the placebo pills that are supposed to trigger the period. Nothing. A couple of times I felt like AF had arrived, but when I went to check: nothing. I am also constipated, but don't have any other signs that could indicate something. No tender breasts, no rumbling in the belly, no feeling sick...
I don't think I am pregnant. I mean I was pregnant before while taking the pill and I had my period while I was pregnant. But it would be really strange that after all our struggles I would have gotten pregnant so easily last month. I suspect more something along the lines of menopause...
The problem is that they don't have any pregnancy test here in the stores and I don't really want to bother with going to a doctor since it is probably just a mood of nature. But should I start with a new package of BCP if something could be? Can you recommend something?
I don't want to get my hopes up for something that is not worth it. There were so many times that I have taken negative pregnancy tests that I don't even want to bother with it this time. And still: while AF hasn't arrived there is hope. I hate that I still have this hope even though the pain when she eventually shows up is not as big as it used to be. Being a mom has made a huge difference. It is just sometimes sad to see my body do things it is supposed to do, but not being able to do the things I want it to do.
On a completely different note: Our aircondition unit in the US broke down. Of course these things always happen in the middle of winter. We will have to replace it for $6.300.
That will set us back a couple of months with our plan to add to our family again next year. I hate that we just can't pop them out one after the other like most of our friends. It is always a question of money for us and of judgement how we will add. Will we try more fertility treatments with all the ups and downs and the risks of it not working? Or will we straight go down the adoption road again? Those are questions and strategies we are currently discussing.
I had mentioned here before that my cycles have been so screwed up recently. I had those short cycles of 21 days and went on the BCP to get them back in sync. I wanted a smooth transition with the move and everything going on. I started on day one of my cycle a couple of months ago. But I still got my period way to early day 21-23 of the cycle. In December I stopped and started again 27 days ago after getting my period. I am now taking the placebo pills that are supposed to trigger the period. Nothing. A couple of times I felt like AF had arrived, but when I went to check: nothing. I am also constipated, but don't have any other signs that could indicate something. No tender breasts, no rumbling in the belly, no feeling sick...
I don't think I am pregnant. I mean I was pregnant before while taking the pill and I had my period while I was pregnant. But it would be really strange that after all our struggles I would have gotten pregnant so easily last month. I suspect more something along the lines of menopause...
The problem is that they don't have any pregnancy test here in the stores and I don't really want to bother with going to a doctor since it is probably just a mood of nature. But should I start with a new package of BCP if something could be? Can you recommend something?
I don't want to get my hopes up for something that is not worth it. There were so many times that I have taken negative pregnancy tests that I don't even want to bother with it this time. And still: while AF hasn't arrived there is hope. I hate that I still have this hope even though the pain when she eventually shows up is not as big as it used to be. Being a mom has made a huge difference. It is just sometimes sad to see my body do things it is supposed to do, but not being able to do the things I want it to do.
On a completely different note: Our aircondition unit in the US broke down. Of course these things always happen in the middle of winter. We will have to replace it for $6.300.
That will set us back a couple of months with our plan to add to our family again next year. I hate that we just can't pop them out one after the other like most of our friends. It is always a question of money for us and of judgement how we will add. Will we try more fertility treatments with all the ups and downs and the risks of it not working? Or will we straight go down the adoption road again? Those are questions and strategies we are currently discussing.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
7 Months
I can't believe our baby is seven months old already. Where has the time gone. Lilli is amazing. She has such a wonderful personality and I feel we are truly blessed with the perfect baby.
This morning she woke up at 6:30 a.m. (after sleeping through the night), I gave her a bottle and she went right back to sleep until 8 a.m. Wonderful! We feel much more rested and relaxed today. And so does she.
We spent a beautiful morning with Lilli at the pool as today is a holiday (Carnaval) in Venezuela. Lilli really enjoyed playing in the warm water. She was all smiles and giggles. It was the first time that she has really shown any expression in the water. Before I always felt like she was scared a little. We are thinking about hiring someone to give her swimming lessons.
Yesterday Lilli started to crawl backwards a little. She didn't intend to do that, but she somehow ended up on the floor (and not on her playmat). I wonder whether she will really crawl or whether she will skip crawling in favor of walking. Since crawling is not a milestone I am not too concerned. Our house is not babyproofed yet as we are still waiting for our things, so I prefer she takes her time...
She now eats: rice cereal, oatmeal cereal, sweet potatoes, squash, zucchini, avocados, potatoes, and carrots. Last week she even had a mashed arepa with some of her formula. I am waiting on our food processor to be able to feed her also things like broccoli, brussels sprouts, meats, etc.
Have I told you that I have hired a maid? It is so wonderful to have someone here that helps to clean the house. She is very nice, two years younger than I and taught me how to make Arepas last week. We had lots of fun.
Yesterday we had a potluck lunch at our house. It was fantastic as we had wonderful food. The whole house was full of people with kids. But I really have to get used to having kids trash our place. There are now footprints and handprints on the walls, popsicles spilled on our couch, a ball on the roof,... Maybe it is just me, but I would be mortified if Lilli would have done any of the above at someone else's house. And the parents were more or less just shrugging it off. Do you have any bad experiences with friend's children behavior at your place? Or bad experiences with your own kids? How to deal with it?
This morning she woke up at 6:30 a.m. (after sleeping through the night), I gave her a bottle and she went right back to sleep until 8 a.m. Wonderful! We feel much more rested and relaxed today. And so does she.
We spent a beautiful morning with Lilli at the pool as today is a holiday (Carnaval) in Venezuela. Lilli really enjoyed playing in the warm water. She was all smiles and giggles. It was the first time that she has really shown any expression in the water. Before I always felt like she was scared a little. We are thinking about hiring someone to give her swimming lessons.
Yesterday Lilli started to crawl backwards a little. She didn't intend to do that, but she somehow ended up on the floor (and not on her playmat). I wonder whether she will really crawl or whether she will skip crawling in favor of walking. Since crawling is not a milestone I am not too concerned. Our house is not babyproofed yet as we are still waiting for our things, so I prefer she takes her time...
She now eats: rice cereal, oatmeal cereal, sweet potatoes, squash, zucchini, avocados, potatoes, and carrots. Last week she even had a mashed arepa with some of her formula. I am waiting on our food processor to be able to feed her also things like broccoli, brussels sprouts, meats, etc.
Have I told you that I have hired a maid? It is so wonderful to have someone here that helps to clean the house. She is very nice, two years younger than I and taught me how to make Arepas last week. We had lots of fun.
Yesterday we had a potluck lunch at our house. It was fantastic as we had wonderful food. The whole house was full of people with kids. But I really have to get used to having kids trash our place. There are now footprints and handprints on the walls, popsicles spilled on our couch, a ball on the roof,... Maybe it is just me, but I would be mortified if Lilli would have done any of the above at someone else's house. And the parents were more or less just shrugging it off. Do you have any bad experiences with friend's children behavior at your place? Or bad experiences with your own kids? How to deal with it?
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Solid Food issues
Lilli has been eating solid food since she turned six months. And for the most part it has worked really well. But our stuff is not here yet, so I have to squish everything with a fork. Which works in most cases, but not always...
So far she is eating potato, carrots, squash, zucchini, and avocado (she loves avocado). In the evenings she has started eating rice cereal.
Recently she has started eating very well one day and then the next day she barely touches her plate. I cooked zucchini yesterday and she loved them. Today I mixed in some carrots and she barely ate anything. I don't know whether this is because she has a cold (again) or whether this is a pattern. I also have started to give her water to drink, but she doesn't really like it out of her bottle or her cup. If I drink water out of a cup on the other hand, she wants to try some out of my cup. Which usually ends up being a big mess, but I still let her...
The other thing I am wondering is when to introduce oil, butter, spices, meat, etc. Any recommendations from you? Do you know any great websites for introducing solid food? I am just concerned that she is not getting enough...
So far she is eating potato, carrots, squash, zucchini, and avocado (she loves avocado). In the evenings she has started eating rice cereal.
Recently she has started eating very well one day and then the next day she barely touches her plate. I cooked zucchini yesterday and she loved them. Today I mixed in some carrots and she barely ate anything. I don't know whether this is because she has a cold (again) or whether this is a pattern. I also have started to give her water to drink, but she doesn't really like it out of her bottle or her cup. If I drink water out of a cup on the other hand, she wants to try some out of my cup. Which usually ends up being a big mess, but I still let her...
The other thing I am wondering is when to introduce oil, butter, spices, meat, etc. Any recommendations from you? Do you know any great websites for introducing solid food? I am just concerned that she is not getting enough...
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Dear Californian Department of Social Services
Dear Californian Department of Social Services,
You have to protect these children from their mother. She has now started a homepage to try and support her family. And she is probably making a lot of money with TV interviews. In the meantime she is neglecting her children. Shouldn't she be in the hospital instead, sitting in the NICU with her eight babies? Or taking care of her other six children?
I just saw the interview with the grandmother of the octuplets. This is a plea for help in my eyes. They are already living with 8 people in a three bedroom house. The interior of the house is filthy with food on the walls. There won't be enough room for another 8 babies. Having 6 embryos transfered if she got pregnant easily with all of her other children is irresponsible. She can't even care for her other six children, how is she going to provide for her octuplets? She is all by herself and relying on the grandmother of the children to pick up the pieces.
The mother doesn't contribute any money to the support of her children. The grandmother is paying the bill. She has even lost a house because of her daughters irresponsibility. I just wonder where the mother received all the money for IVF.
Please help those 14 (!) children and send someone there to find out whether this mother is capable of caring for her children. And whether it is in the best interest of these children to stay with their mother. Maybe the State (who will have to pay for these children - sooner or later) could also prevent doctors to perform additional fertility treatments for this mother. Like have the doctor who transfered 6 embryos pay for child support for 5 of the children.
Thank you.
You have to protect these children from their mother. She has now started a homepage to try and support her family. And she is probably making a lot of money with TV interviews. In the meantime she is neglecting her children. Shouldn't she be in the hospital instead, sitting in the NICU with her eight babies? Or taking care of her other six children?
I just saw the interview with the grandmother of the octuplets. This is a plea for help in my eyes. They are already living with 8 people in a three bedroom house. The interior of the house is filthy with food on the walls. There won't be enough room for another 8 babies. Having 6 embryos transfered if she got pregnant easily with all of her other children is irresponsible. She can't even care for her other six children, how is she going to provide for her octuplets? She is all by herself and relying on the grandmother of the children to pick up the pieces.
The mother doesn't contribute any money to the support of her children. The grandmother is paying the bill. She has even lost a house because of her daughters irresponsibility. I just wonder where the mother received all the money for IVF.
Please help those 14 (!) children and send someone there to find out whether this mother is capable of caring for her children. And whether it is in the best interest of these children to stay with their mother. Maybe the State (who will have to pay for these children - sooner or later) could also prevent doctors to perform additional fertility treatments for this mother. Like have the doctor who transfered 6 embryos pay for child support for 5 of the children.
Thank you.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Wonderful day!!!
I am so excited for Rebekah and Ben. If you haven't seen her blog, go check it out. Rebekah is an amazing writer and truly beautiful woman - inside and out. I have been following their story for quite a while and the circumstances of them being picked are just amazing. Blessed be the Lord!
Yesterday was a great day for our family. Our adoption was finalized. We are thrilled to be a forever family!!! I feel so blessed.
But in addition, yesterday we not only received our Cedulas (government ID) that you need to get anything done here. For example: go to the store to buy food or request Direct TV or internet (still surfing on the neighbors net). But we also heard that our car is in the port (of course we need the Cedula to request it), so things are moving pretty well here. Our stuff will hopefully arrive soon. But we also received mail yesterday (from our US mailbox) and several packages of stuff I had ordered online. Lilli's playmat
arrived finally. We have marble floors here, so I am already concerned once she starts walking... I also had ordered a book about cooking baby food which arrived as well. It was a little bit like Xmas.
The day before we had received another letter from Lilli's birthmom. It was so good to hear from her and she loved the pictures that I had done for Xmas. It turns out that a blanket and a bunny that I thought was a Xmas gift from the agency, was from her. I had no idea!!! I was very emotional after reading her letter. It is wonderful that she loves our little girl as much as we do. I am very grateful that we have a semi open adoption. Not knowing who she is and how she is doing, I would be always wondering about her.
If you are in the beginning of the adoption process and are wondering whether you want a semi open adoption, I can only recommend it from personal experience. I understand that every situation is different and it might not be the best choice for everyone and not always be in the best interest of the child to have one. But I feel that for us it was the right choice. When we started the process I was a little hesitant. I had fears she would regret her decision and want the child back. Instead our letters and pictures are helping her with the grieving process and are reassuring her that she has done the right choice. I feel so grateful to have her in our lives. It is reassuring to know that Lilli has all her letters to read one day when she is asking about her. I also hope that Lilli will be able to meet her one day.
If you are wondering how the sleep training is going. It is going great. She went to bad without any trouble. And the last two nights Lilli has slept through. She went to bad without any trouble. She woke up yesterday morning at 5:50 a.m. and today at 7:15 a.m. We are very happy. It was very tough at first, but I am glad that we did it. A baby that sleeps through the night was well worth the two more or less sleepless nights.
Yesterday was a great day for our family. Our adoption was finalized. We are thrilled to be a forever family!!! I feel so blessed.
But in addition, yesterday we not only received our Cedulas (government ID) that you need to get anything done here. For example: go to the store to buy food or request Direct TV or internet (still surfing on the neighbors net). But we also heard that our car is in the port (of course we need the Cedula to request it), so things are moving pretty well here. Our stuff will hopefully arrive soon. But we also received mail yesterday (from our US mailbox) and several packages of stuff I had ordered online. Lilli's playmat
arrived finally. We have marble floors here, so I am already concerned once she starts walking... I also had ordered a book about cooking baby food which arrived as well. It was a little bit like Xmas.
The day before we had received another letter from Lilli's birthmom. It was so good to hear from her and she loved the pictures that I had done for Xmas. It turns out that a blanket and a bunny that I thought was a Xmas gift from the agency, was from her. I had no idea!!! I was very emotional after reading her letter. It is wonderful that she loves our little girl as much as we do. I am very grateful that we have a semi open adoption. Not knowing who she is and how she is doing, I would be always wondering about her.
If you are in the beginning of the adoption process and are wondering whether you want a semi open adoption, I can only recommend it from personal experience. I understand that every situation is different and it might not be the best choice for everyone and not always be in the best interest of the child to have one. But I feel that for us it was the right choice. When we started the process I was a little hesitant. I had fears she would regret her decision and want the child back. Instead our letters and pictures are helping her with the grieving process and are reassuring her that she has done the right choice. I feel so grateful to have her in our lives. It is reassuring to know that Lilli has all her letters to read one day when she is asking about her. I also hope that Lilli will be able to meet her one day.
If you are wondering how the sleep training is going. It is going great. She went to bad without any trouble. And the last two nights Lilli has slept through. She went to bad without any trouble. She woke up yesterday morning at 5:50 a.m. and today at 7:15 a.m. We are very happy. It was very tough at first, but I am glad that we did it. A baby that sleeps through the night was well worth the two more or less sleepless nights.
Monday, February 9, 2009
"Gerberizing" and weekend
Last Saturday when I went shopping at the supermarket I met a friend and he told me that him and his wife were starting to "Gerberize" their baby that weekend. I was wondering whether he meant that their baby is eating "Gerber" baby food for the first time, but realized he was probably talking about "Ferberizing" their baby as he seems to be a bad sleeper, waking up every three hours.
We had said that once we were settled here we would do some sleep training with Lilli as well because while we were in Germany she had developed some weird sleep patterns (waking up three and more times a night). When we arrived here we wanted to give her some time to adjust. We have been here a month. She adjusted really nicely first and we were very happy. She slept from 8 p.m. to 5 a.m., took a bottle, and went back to sleep until about 7:00 a.m. But the problem is that she always needs the bottle to calm herself down. I think I had mentioned before that she is not using a pacifier. She needs the bottle to fall asleep. We still were happy with that sleep pattern.
But as usual just when you think you have finally figured out your baby they are doing something completely different, because they are at a different developmental stage.
The last couple of nights she had been starting to wake up again at weird times. For example she woke up at midnight one day and at 1 a.m. the next. We decided to finally start some sleep training with her.
I hope you don't think we are cruel. But we actually let her cry it out the last two nights.
The first night was rough. I so wanted to get up and give her a bottle. But I knew she would never learn it if I would just give in. She screamed for what felt like a long amount of time. I finally got up and checked on her thinking she might have rolled over. She hadn't, but of course once she realized that her screaming had made me get up to look after her, she screamed even louder. Well, eventually she fell back asleep, but it took her a while. I think she woke up about three or four times that night. Yesterday during the day she was in a surprisingly good mood and also took two naps. Last night was much better. She fell asleep and only woke up at 5:35 a.m. this morning, but went back to sleep until 7 a.m. We will see how tonight goes. I hope it will go even better...
Yesterday we went to church. We are so happy that we have already found a church here. It is very different from our church in the States and much more conventional, but is international and has an English service. The pastor and his wife are super nice and they also have two children. Everybody in that church was so welcoming and we felt like we have found a new family here. Yesterday after the service there was a potluck at the pastor's house. It was awesome. Good food and good company made it worthwhile... It was one of the best days we had here so far. The problem is that security is a big issue around here. You always have to be aware of your surroundings.
I haven't really told you anything about our new place yet. We actually have three floors and a rooftop terrace with a great view over the city. Each of the four bedrooms has its own bathroom. We have 7 bathrooms in this place...
The building has a heated pool, sauna, steam bath, gym, and its own squash court... I really love this place especially because it has tons of storage rooms. I finally found a maid and she has started today. So far I am very happy. It is so good to have some help cleaning. We could never afford it back in the US, but labor is cheap here.
Because our apartment is so big, tomorrow night we are having Salsa lessons here. I am very excited as I have been wanting to dance salsa for quite a while. Some of dh's colleagues are coming over and we have a teacher come as well. It was a Xmas gift from his boss to the office. What a great idea!!! I am wondering what I can make. Dh thinks a cake would be wonderful. I only have the problem that everything is still new. Our stuff hasn't arrived. I am still getting familiar with the produce here. And we only have a pie pan. I haven't found yeast here. Do you have any ideas for a pie without yeast? Or any other ideas? You guys have given me all that great advice in the past and I hope that you will be able to give me some ideas.
We had said that once we were settled here we would do some sleep training with Lilli as well because while we were in Germany she had developed some weird sleep patterns (waking up three and more times a night). When we arrived here we wanted to give her some time to adjust. We have been here a month. She adjusted really nicely first and we were very happy. She slept from 8 p.m. to 5 a.m., took a bottle, and went back to sleep until about 7:00 a.m. But the problem is that she always needs the bottle to calm herself down. I think I had mentioned before that she is not using a pacifier. She needs the bottle to fall asleep. We still were happy with that sleep pattern.
But as usual just when you think you have finally figured out your baby they are doing something completely different, because they are at a different developmental stage.
The last couple of nights she had been starting to wake up again at weird times. For example she woke up at midnight one day and at 1 a.m. the next. We decided to finally start some sleep training with her.
I hope you don't think we are cruel. But we actually let her cry it out the last two nights.
The first night was rough. I so wanted to get up and give her a bottle. But I knew she would never learn it if I would just give in. She screamed for what felt like a long amount of time. I finally got up and checked on her thinking she might have rolled over. She hadn't, but of course once she realized that her screaming had made me get up to look after her, she screamed even louder. Well, eventually she fell back asleep, but it took her a while. I think she woke up about three or four times that night. Yesterday during the day she was in a surprisingly good mood and also took two naps. Last night was much better. She fell asleep and only woke up at 5:35 a.m. this morning, but went back to sleep until 7 a.m. We will see how tonight goes. I hope it will go even better...
Yesterday we went to church. We are so happy that we have already found a church here. It is very different from our church in the States and much more conventional, but is international and has an English service. The pastor and his wife are super nice and they also have two children. Everybody in that church was so welcoming and we felt like we have found a new family here. Yesterday after the service there was a potluck at the pastor's house. It was awesome. Good food and good company made it worthwhile... It was one of the best days we had here so far. The problem is that security is a big issue around here. You always have to be aware of your surroundings.
I haven't really told you anything about our new place yet. We actually have three floors and a rooftop terrace with a great view over the city. Each of the four bedrooms has its own bathroom. We have 7 bathrooms in this place...
The building has a heated pool, sauna, steam bath, gym, and its own squash court... I really love this place especially because it has tons of storage rooms. I finally found a maid and she has started today. So far I am very happy. It is so good to have some help cleaning. We could never afford it back in the US, but labor is cheap here.
Because our apartment is so big, tomorrow night we are having Salsa lessons here. I am very excited as I have been wanting to dance salsa for quite a while. Some of dh's colleagues are coming over and we have a teacher come as well. It was a Xmas gift from his boss to the office. What a great idea!!! I am wondering what I can make. Dh thinks a cake would be wonderful. I only have the problem that everything is still new. Our stuff hasn't arrived. I am still getting familiar with the produce here. And we only have a pie pan. I haven't found yeast here. Do you have any ideas for a pie without yeast? Or any other ideas? You guys have given me all that great advice in the past and I hope that you will be able to give me some ideas.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Adoptive Parent Questionnaire
Debbie at Family Reunion tagged adoptive moms with this ...! I tag all adoptive moms and dads on my blogroll. You just copy the questions and fill in your own answers...
1. How many months (days, weeks, YEARS...) from 1st paper signed to referral? 9month and one day.
2. WAS YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER EXCITED? Absolutely. He was as excited as I.
3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS WHEN YOU GOT "THE" PHONE CALL? It was a telephone conference with the agency founder, dh, and I. We were full of mixed emotions: joy and fear.
4. WHERE WERE YOU WHEN YOU FOUND OUT? In the bus on my way home from work.
5. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 34
6. WHAT IS YOUR CHILD'S BIRTH-COUNTRY (and province or city)? Salt Lake City, Utah, USA
7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? Our parents and siblings.
8. DID YOU REQUEST A BOY, GIRL, OR EITHER? Either!
9. HOW OLD WAS YOUR CHILD AT REFERRAL? Not born yet.
10. WHEN AND HOW DID YOU SEE YOUR CHILD'S FACE/PICTURE FOR THE FIRST TIME? In the hospital, the day after she was born.
11. WHAT WAS THE FIRST THING YOU BOUGHT FOR YOUR CHILD? A travel bed.
12. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? That people always ask "Where is she from?" when they see her. What does it matter?
13. WHEN WERE YOU ABLE TO TRAVEL? After one week.
14. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? Yes. After we were back.
15. HOW OLD WAS YOUR CHILD WHEN YOU SAW THEM IN PERSON FOR THE FIRST TIME? 18 hours
16. DID YOU PACK ANYTHING SPECIAL JUST FOR YOUR BABY? The car seat, bottles, and clothes.
17. WHAT SURPRISED YOU ABOUT YOUR TRAVEL EXPERIENCE THE MOST? That nobody at the airport wanted to see anything for her.
18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS WITH YOUR PAPERWORK/PROCESS? We had been matched before and the mother had lost contact to the agency. We lost $3.000 to that birthmother.
19. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE MEMORY OR PLACE YOU VISITED IN YOUR CHILD'S BIRTH COUNTRY?THE BEST? n/a
20. HOW MANY DAYS/WEEKS WERE YOU IN YOUR CHILD'S BIRTH COUNTRY? n/a
21. FAVORITE PLACE/THING TO EAT WHILE THERE? There was a salad and soup place close to our hotel that we really liked.
22. FAVORITE PLACE TO SHOP WHILE THERE? BabiesRUs
23. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU ON THE PLANE GOING/LEAVING? 5 with a stop in Houston
24. WHO MET YOU AT THE AIRPORT? Nobody. We had left our car there and arrived late at night.
25. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU DID AFTER LEAVING THE AIRPORT? Feeding Lilli and changing her diaper (for the third time).
26. WHAT DO YOU CALL YOUR ADOPTION DAY? Gotcha day is July 26th, but I don't know yet whether we will use the finalization day.
27. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? Lillian Alexis Audry
28. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY? 6 months and two weeks.
29. ARE YOU PLANNING TO GO BACK TO THEIR BIRTH COUNTRY SOMEDAY? N/A
30. HAVE YOU STARTED OR ALREADY MADE YOUR CHILD A LIFEBOOK? I haven't started yet, but I bought the equipment. Once our stuff arrives hopefully I will be able to start.
1. How many months (days, weeks, YEARS...) from 1st paper signed to referral? 9month and one day.
2. WAS YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER EXCITED? Absolutely. He was as excited as I.
3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS WHEN YOU GOT "THE" PHONE CALL? It was a telephone conference with the agency founder, dh, and I. We were full of mixed emotions: joy and fear.
4. WHERE WERE YOU WHEN YOU FOUND OUT? In the bus on my way home from work.
5. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 34
6. WHAT IS YOUR CHILD'S BIRTH-COUNTRY (and province or city)? Salt Lake City, Utah, USA
7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? Our parents and siblings.
8. DID YOU REQUEST A BOY, GIRL, OR EITHER? Either!
9. HOW OLD WAS YOUR CHILD AT REFERRAL? Not born yet.
10. WHEN AND HOW DID YOU SEE YOUR CHILD'S FACE/PICTURE FOR THE FIRST TIME? In the hospital, the day after she was born.
11. WHAT WAS THE FIRST THING YOU BOUGHT FOR YOUR CHILD? A travel bed.
12. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? That people always ask "Where is she from?" when they see her. What does it matter?
13. WHEN WERE YOU ABLE TO TRAVEL? After one week.
14. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? Yes. After we were back.
15. HOW OLD WAS YOUR CHILD WHEN YOU SAW THEM IN PERSON FOR THE FIRST TIME? 18 hours
16. DID YOU PACK ANYTHING SPECIAL JUST FOR YOUR BABY? The car seat, bottles, and clothes.
17. WHAT SURPRISED YOU ABOUT YOUR TRAVEL EXPERIENCE THE MOST? That nobody at the airport wanted to see anything for her.
18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS WITH YOUR PAPERWORK/PROCESS? We had been matched before and the mother had lost contact to the agency. We lost $3.000 to that birthmother.
19. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE MEMORY OR PLACE YOU VISITED IN YOUR CHILD'S BIRTH COUNTRY?THE BEST? n/a
20. HOW MANY DAYS/WEEKS WERE YOU IN YOUR CHILD'S BIRTH COUNTRY? n/a
21. FAVORITE PLACE/THING TO EAT WHILE THERE? There was a salad and soup place close to our hotel that we really liked.
22. FAVORITE PLACE TO SHOP WHILE THERE? BabiesRUs
23. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU ON THE PLANE GOING/LEAVING? 5 with a stop in Houston
24. WHO MET YOU AT THE AIRPORT? Nobody. We had left our car there and arrived late at night.
25. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU DID AFTER LEAVING THE AIRPORT? Feeding Lilli and changing her diaper (for the third time).
26. WHAT DO YOU CALL YOUR ADOPTION DAY? Gotcha day is July 26th, but I don't know yet whether we will use the finalization day.
27. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? Lillian Alexis Audry
28. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY? 6 months and two weeks.
29. ARE YOU PLANNING TO GO BACK TO THEIR BIRTH COUNTRY SOMEDAY? N/A
30. HAVE YOU STARTED OR ALREADY MADE YOUR CHILD A LIFEBOOK? I haven't started yet, but I bought the equipment. Once our stuff arrives hopefully I will be able to start.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Finalization in sight!!!
On February 10th the finalization hearing will take place in the US. The judge has granted our motion to waive personal appearance. We are so excited that this will mean that the adoption is finalized and we are a forever family.
Lilli is such a joy in our lives. Her smiles make my heart melt. She must really be teething now. Yesterday at church she drooled all over the bench... Her bib was soaking wet. There was a little boy at church that was only one day younger and he already had two teeth. I wonder how long we will have to keep the bibs on...
Lilli is such a joy in our lives. Her smiles make my heart melt. She must really be teething now. Yesterday at church she drooled all over the bench... Her bib was soaking wet. There was a little boy at church that was only one day younger and he already had two teeth. I wonder how long we will have to keep the bibs on...
Friday, January 30, 2009
Back to blogging!!!
You probably already wondered what happened to me after I went off to see my family. We stayed there for 5 weeks and had a fantastic time. I haven't seen my parents as happy in the last couple of years as they were when they were holding Lilli. They have embraced her with all of their hearts. Just as my brother and the rest of the family.
We even managed to go out for some dates as we had so reliable babysitters over there. We had an awesome time spending Christmas over there. For Christmas I had some pictures taken. Enjoy.
For New Year's we went to Berlin and celebrated with friends there and introduced Lilli to them. Shortly before dh joined us in Europe we had received our visas for Venezuela.
Now we already have been in Caracas more than two weeks. Lilli has grown so much. At her six months doctor appointment she weight in at 16 pounds 5 ounces (70th percentile) and was 28 inches long (90th percentile) She is now able to sit by herself. Yesterday night she rolled for the first time from her stomach to her back. Three times in a row. She has stopped rolling from her back to her stomach since we started using a sleep sack my mom bought for her. But I am not too concerned about this. Last Saturday we started rice cereal and yesterday she enjoyed her first carrots.
Sleeping had been a little tough for Lilli while in Germany and we didn't want to do any sleep training because we were throwing her constantly in new environments and new time zones. But since we are here it was improved a lot. She is now waking up once or twice a night. Last night she slept from 8:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. this morning straight! YEAH! I woke up this morning wondering why I hadn't heard a peep. She is still sleeping in our bedroom as we don't have the monitor yet.
Yesterday I took her for her six months vaccinations with a friend and her baby. Dh had to work and couldn't join us for the Dtap vaccination. The nurse that administered the shots was awfully rude. First she told me that the Rotavirus shots couldn't be administered with the Dtap vaccination because it wouldn't absorb. Afterwards I did some research and it is no problem at all.
Then she told me that Lilli should have had her second Hepatitis B vaccination by one month. We had discussed this with our doctor in the US and he had told us that it was no problem to administer that vaccination later. The first shot at birth is the important one (she had that one of course).
After that she asked me whether I have given her Tylenol. I hadn't. I read about a study recently that links it to Asthma. We hadn't given her any Tylenol before any of her vaccinations. It was never a problem. When she was fussy afterwards we gave her some. But I don't want to overmedicate my child if it is not necessary. She asked me whether I wanted them to give her some Tylenol. I said: No! When the injection went in, Lilli made a peep and was quiet after that. She didn't really scream at all. Which confirmed that she is fine without Tylenol before. When it was my friends baby's turn, the nurse asked whether she had had Tylenol and my friend said "Yes!". Which is absolutely fine. I don't condemn anyone for giving their children Tylenol. I just feel this is a parents decision. My child. My decision. But you guys should have seen the look on the nurse's face to me. It was this judgemental look of telling me "You are not a good mother because you didn't give your child the necessary vaccinations and no Tylenol before the vaccination!"
Afterwards I started crying. I as an adoptive mother might be more sensitive to these kind of looks or this kind of behaviour. What was this nurse thinking? I had the impression that she thought she was smarter than every doctor we talked to before. I had heard that she doesn't have a good bedside manner, but I didn't expect something like that. Unfortunately I don't have a choice as to go to her again in two weeks. But boy, this time dh has to come. This time I will be telling her what I think of her.
We even managed to go out for some dates as we had so reliable babysitters over there. We had an awesome time spending Christmas over there. For Christmas I had some pictures taken. Enjoy.
For New Year's we went to Berlin and celebrated with friends there and introduced Lilli to them. Shortly before dh joined us in Europe we had received our visas for Venezuela.
Now we already have been in Caracas more than two weeks. Lilli has grown so much. At her six months doctor appointment she weight in at 16 pounds 5 ounces (70th percentile) and was 28 inches long (90th percentile) She is now able to sit by herself. Yesterday night she rolled for the first time from her stomach to her back. Three times in a row. She has stopped rolling from her back to her stomach since we started using a sleep sack my mom bought for her. But I am not too concerned about this. Last Saturday we started rice cereal and yesterday she enjoyed her first carrots.
Sleeping had been a little tough for Lilli while in Germany and we didn't want to do any sleep training because we were throwing her constantly in new environments and new time zones. But since we are here it was improved a lot. She is now waking up once or twice a night. Last night she slept from 8:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. this morning straight! YEAH! I woke up this morning wondering why I hadn't heard a peep. She is still sleeping in our bedroom as we don't have the monitor yet.
Yesterday I took her for her six months vaccinations with a friend and her baby. Dh had to work and couldn't join us for the Dtap vaccination. The nurse that administered the shots was awfully rude. First she told me that the Rotavirus shots couldn't be administered with the Dtap vaccination because it wouldn't absorb. Afterwards I did some research and it is no problem at all.
Then she told me that Lilli should have had her second Hepatitis B vaccination by one month. We had discussed this with our doctor in the US and he had told us that it was no problem to administer that vaccination later. The first shot at birth is the important one (she had that one of course).
After that she asked me whether I have given her Tylenol. I hadn't. I read about a study recently that links it to Asthma. We hadn't given her any Tylenol before any of her vaccinations. It was never a problem. When she was fussy afterwards we gave her some. But I don't want to overmedicate my child if it is not necessary. She asked me whether I wanted them to give her some Tylenol. I said: No! When the injection went in, Lilli made a peep and was quiet after that. She didn't really scream at all. Which confirmed that she is fine without Tylenol before. When it was my friends baby's turn, the nurse asked whether she had had Tylenol and my friend said "Yes!". Which is absolutely fine. I don't condemn anyone for giving their children Tylenol. I just feel this is a parents decision. My child. My decision. But you guys should have seen the look on the nurse's face to me. It was this judgemental look of telling me "You are not a good mother because you didn't give your child the necessary vaccinations and no Tylenol before the vaccination!"
Afterwards I started crying. I as an adoptive mother might be more sensitive to these kind of looks or this kind of behaviour. What was this nurse thinking? I had the impression that she thought she was smarter than every doctor we talked to before. I had heard that she doesn't have a good bedside manner, but I didn't expect something like that. Unfortunately I don't have a choice as to go to her again in two weeks. But boy, this time dh has to come. This time I will be telling her what I think of her.
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