I am so happy for my blog friend Bri. She and her husband just adopted a baby girl. I can't wait to see pictures and get her update on the whole story. I am especially happy, because she really had a hard time recently. Her baby sister is pregnant from a one night stand with twins and her SIL has just given birth to twins. How fantastic that her little girl will be able to grow up with all the children in Bri's life.
Lilli made her first sign yesterday. It is unbelievable how fast she picked it up, especially because I haven't really been that consistent with it. When I was changing her diaper and I made the "change diaper" sign with my hands, Lilli made the sign as well. It looked more like the "all done" sign to me, but I guess she is still practising. But I was very impressed that she actually answered with a sign.
I also have good news from the port. After our stuff was packed out in October and shipped in January and has been cruising around the Carribean for a while, it finally made it to the port last week. Now it will be only a matter of weeks until we get it, maybe even before Easter. We haven't seen it for 6 months and I don't even remember what we have. I realized how little you actually need in the past couple of months. But I tell you moving with a baby and without all the baby things (swings, exersaucers, etc.) isn't easy. Fortunately it seems like it is all coming together now.
I also received a new job. Will work part time as a Special Project Coordinator. They basically call me when they need me. The only thing I have to take care of is childcare. I wonder how difficult it is going to be. We want to ask our maid whether she wants to move in with us. That would be perfect because then we would also have a babysitter...
Tomorrow I will book my flight to Europe for Lilli and me. Dh unfortunately will have to work while we are there. I am very excited to see my family.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
8 months old!!
Today is Lilli's 8 month birthday! It is hard to believe that our little sweetheart is already 8 months old.
Her personality is amazing. She is a lot of fun to hang out with and to play with. But she also has started little temper tantrums if she doesn't get what she wants. Usually it involves her trying to bite me. If my arm is not available she uses her own arm...
Her single tooth has some company now. The other tooth right next to it is coming as well. It doesn't seem to bother her.
Last Friday we received a walker from some colleagues of dh. It took Lilli about 5 seconds to figure out how she can walk in it. She is very mobile with it and I have to keep running behind her to make sure that she doesn't open the drawers or fall down the stairs. It would be time to babyproof the apartment.
Unfortunately we still don't have our stuff. It was shipped in Mid January. The trip from Miami to here only takes about 4 days. But the port here is not able to unload more than one ship at a time. Therefore our stuff has been cruising around the Carribean and was probably send to Aruba for a while to hang out. It might come back here this week, but who knows? It will then probably take another month until we finally get it. But then we will be able to babyproof everything.
Her personality is amazing. She is a lot of fun to hang out with and to play with. But she also has started little temper tantrums if she doesn't get what she wants. Usually it involves her trying to bite me. If my arm is not available she uses her own arm...
Her single tooth has some company now. The other tooth right next to it is coming as well. It doesn't seem to bother her.
Last Friday we received a walker from some colleagues of dh. It took Lilli about 5 seconds to figure out how she can walk in it. She is very mobile with it and I have to keep running behind her to make sure that she doesn't open the drawers or fall down the stairs. It would be time to babyproof the apartment.
Unfortunately we still don't have our stuff. It was shipped in Mid January. The trip from Miami to here only takes about 4 days. But the port here is not able to unload more than one ship at a time. Therefore our stuff has been cruising around the Carribean and was probably send to Aruba for a while to hang out. It might come back here this week, but who knows? It will then probably take another month until we finally get it. But then we will be able to babyproof everything.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
MA-MA and Baby Sign Language
This morning Lilli said Ma-Ma for the very first time. I had been practising with her for quite a while, repeating "MA-MA" over and over, but she was always only smiling at me when I repeated myself over and over again. It was so nice to hear her say it for the first time today.
Lilli has also learned to get from a sitting position into a laying position. She loves to eat the corner pieces of her playmat (I don't like that, who knows what is in it). She can't sit up by herself yet, but I guess it will be just a question of weeks. When we hold down her legs she is able to go from a lying to a sitting position (love those abs).
I also started baby sign language with her. I hope it will help her as she is growing up trilingual (we think). Dh speaks English, I speak German and we hope she will pick up some Spanish on the way (from our maid or daycare or people on the street). The book we have says it is easier for them to learn different languages when the same signs are used in both languages. I have started signing "Milk", "Sleep", "More", "All done", and "Diaper change". I wonder whether you guys are signing, too, or will be signing in the future, so please feel free to share any comments or experiences you have made with signing.
Lilli has also learned to get from a sitting position into a laying position. She loves to eat the corner pieces of her playmat (I don't like that, who knows what is in it). She can't sit up by herself yet, but I guess it will be just a question of weeks. When we hold down her legs she is able to go from a lying to a sitting position (love those abs).
I also started baby sign language with her. I hope it will help her as she is growing up trilingual (we think). Dh speaks English, I speak German and we hope she will pick up some Spanish on the way (from our maid or daycare or people on the street). The book we have says it is easier for them to learn different languages when the same signs are used in both languages. I have started signing "Milk", "Sleep", "More", "All done", and "Diaper change". I wonder whether you guys are signing, too, or will be signing in the future, so please feel free to share any comments or experiences you have made with signing.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
First tooth is here!
I was right about my post about teething. Lilli really was teething. Her first tooth appeared this morning. DH couldn't feel it. But I can feel and see it. She even already tried to bite me with it when I was trying to put her seatbelt back on after I had taken her out of her stroller for a while.
It is wonderful to see her development and I think I might send a letter to her birthmother to let her know. She has sent us this beautiful blanket and bunny for Christmas and I had thought it was a present from the agency. They didn't write anything with it, so I just assumed they send out presents to all the babies. Was I wrong. We had received another letter from Lilli's birthmom and only then I realized that those presents were from her. She really is amazing and I really hope that Lilli will be able to meet her some day. She is writing beautiful letters and still is at peace with her adoption plan. I am so grateful for that.
It is wonderful to see her development and I think I might send a letter to her birthmother to let her know. She has sent us this beautiful blanket and bunny for Christmas and I had thought it was a present from the agency. They didn't write anything with it, so I just assumed they send out presents to all the babies. Was I wrong. We had received another letter from Lilli's birthmom and only then I realized that those presents were from her. She really is amazing and I really hope that Lilli will be able to meet her some day. She is writing beautiful letters and still is at peace with her adoption plan. I am so grateful for that.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Finally an end
So this weird cycle has finally come to an end. Yesterday AF came to visit. It was the first time for a very, very long time that I was kind of relieved to see her. As an infertile it is so hard to have her visit. You are always waiting on her being late and hope that she might not come at all for a couple of months. But then as soon as you have taken a pregnancy test, just an hour later she is ringing your door bell.
This was the weirdest cycle ever. I have now started again with my BCP. I walked this morning with Lilli and two friends about 3 miles. Afterwards I swam some laps in the pool (our maid was watching Lilli) with one of my friends here in the house. And now I feel like I want to go back to bed. Instead I will have to get some lunch ready for me and Lilli. She is just taking a nap as I am writing this.
Good news on my dad. He is back from the hospital and seems to be doing much better. He had 3 liters of fluids in his lung. I am so excited that we are going to visit my family in April for a couple of days... They will be so excited about everything Lilli is doing now.
I am so glad that we finally have our car. And now I have to confess something. We had bought an SUV (Nissan Pathfinder) for here. Our tank was empty on Saturday. We had it filled for 6,60 Bolivares Fuertes. That is about $1,25. Have I told you that Venezuela is one of the countries with the cheapest gas in the world?
This was the weirdest cycle ever. I have now started again with my BCP. I walked this morning with Lilli and two friends about 3 miles. Afterwards I swam some laps in the pool (our maid was watching Lilli) with one of my friends here in the house. And now I feel like I want to go back to bed. Instead I will have to get some lunch ready for me and Lilli. She is just taking a nap as I am writing this.
Good news on my dad. He is back from the hospital and seems to be doing much better. He had 3 liters of fluids in his lung. I am so excited that we are going to visit my family in April for a couple of days... They will be so excited about everything Lilli is doing now.
I am so glad that we finally have our car. And now I have to confess something. We had bought an SUV (Nissan Pathfinder) for here. Our tank was empty on Saturday. We had it filled for 6,60 Bolivares Fuertes. That is about $1,25. Have I told you that Venezuela is one of the countries with the cheapest gas in the world?
Friday, March 13, 2009
Teething???
I believe Lilli is teething. This time for real - maybe. She has been a little cranky lately, her cheeks seem fuller and she is having some white spots in her gums where there will be teeth in the future - hopefully. She doesn't have a single teeth in her mouth yet, but has started to eat crackers and grissini. She loves both.
Today we were at a playdate and I gave her a cracker from a plate. After she ate it I found out that the cracker had honey in it. I felt like a horrible mother endangering my baby like this. I should have asked before I gave her the cracker.
Our car has arrived today. That will make our lives much easier as we won't have to always ask people to take us to places like in the past. But driving here is a completely different story. The rules are very different from driving in any other country. Traffic lights and stop signs are ignored and people that enter a circle have the priority. Traffic is horrible here. It takes a long time to get to other parts of the city. Yesterday I went with a friend to pick up a high chair for Lilli. It was sold by a woman with twins who was about to leave the country. It is made out of plastic, but easy to clean and turns into a chair and playtable once she is older. Until now we put her in her bouncer, but because she can sit, she tried to sit and look around, nearly topping over the bouncer. She has definitely outgrown it.
AF hasn't been visiting. I am on cycleday 42 today. I guess now I can make an appointment to see a doctor. There is a particular one that is specialized in Endo that I would like to see.
I haven't done any more tests, but I know that I am not pregnant. But sometimes I think like Mel in her post: If I only pee at the right moment I could be.
Today we were at a playdate and I gave her a cracker from a plate. After she ate it I found out that the cracker had honey in it. I felt like a horrible mother endangering my baby like this. I should have asked before I gave her the cracker.
Our car has arrived today. That will make our lives much easier as we won't have to always ask people to take us to places like in the past. But driving here is a completely different story. The rules are very different from driving in any other country. Traffic lights and stop signs are ignored and people that enter a circle have the priority. Traffic is horrible here. It takes a long time to get to other parts of the city. Yesterday I went with a friend to pick up a high chair for Lilli. It was sold by a woman with twins who was about to leave the country. It is made out of plastic, but easy to clean and turns into a chair and playtable once she is older. Until now we put her in her bouncer, but because she can sit, she tried to sit and look around, nearly topping over the bouncer. She has definitely outgrown it.
AF hasn't been visiting. I am on cycleday 42 today. I guess now I can make an appointment to see a doctor. There is a particular one that is specialized in Endo that I would like to see.
I haven't done any more tests, but I know that I am not pregnant. But sometimes I think like Mel in her post: If I only pee at the right moment I could be.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
The infertile and the unwed teenage mother
We just got back from a truly rewarding experience. We visited a home for unwed teenage mothers. It is run by the church and there are 11 nuns taking care of about 45 girls from ages 10-17 who are mothers themselves. They have just born babies to young children (the oldest being about 5) there, the majority of the girls is really young and has really small babies. The youngest baby was just 12 days old and some girls were pregnant.
They receive some education at this place and have everything they need in the sense of clothing for the children, food, and toys. But what they are missing is love. Most of these girls come from abusive homes or have been raped by their fathers, uncles or stepfathers. The purpose of this home is to teach how to love their children and to educate them so that they can find a job once they have to leave the home with 18.
All the girls were so grateful and happy for our visit. That there was someone that was coming just to see them. There was particularly one girl I connected with. She was 15. We smiled at each other and just knew that we liked each other. Showed me the small room she lives in with her 9 month old baby. I learned from the lady we went with that this is a sign that they really connect with you. We took Lilli with us and through her it was so easy connecting with the girls. They all liked her and wanted to hold her.
There was I, the infertile 34 year old who for such a long time desperately wanted to become a mother building bridges through my adopted daughter with girls 20 years younger than me who were forced to become mothers way to young against their will. We were coming from completely different background and had so completely different stories and we were still able to connect. I am planning on taking my camera next time and take some pictures of the girls with their babies.
There was one baby: Carlitos, 10 months old. His mother had to be taken to a psychiatric hospital a couple of months ago. Carlitos is now being taken care of by the nuns and the other mothers. But you could tell that he was missing to have a mom to take care of him. The nuns have asked for a termination of parental rights (his mother nearly killed him) and there was an assessment. But it could take a couple of months until a decision is being taken. The mother (she is 14) might recover, but it is not known at this point whether she will be able to take care of him. The home would love for him to be adopted into a loving family, but it is a difficult process here.
They receive some education at this place and have everything they need in the sense of clothing for the children, food, and toys. But what they are missing is love. Most of these girls come from abusive homes or have been raped by their fathers, uncles or stepfathers. The purpose of this home is to teach how to love their children and to educate them so that they can find a job once they have to leave the home with 18.
All the girls were so grateful and happy for our visit. That there was someone that was coming just to see them. There was particularly one girl I connected with. She was 15. We smiled at each other and just knew that we liked each other. Showed me the small room she lives in with her 9 month old baby. I learned from the lady we went with that this is a sign that they really connect with you. We took Lilli with us and through her it was so easy connecting with the girls. They all liked her and wanted to hold her.
There was I, the infertile 34 year old who for such a long time desperately wanted to become a mother building bridges through my adopted daughter with girls 20 years younger than me who were forced to become mothers way to young against their will. We were coming from completely different background and had so completely different stories and we were still able to connect. I am planning on taking my camera next time and take some pictures of the girls with their babies.
There was one baby: Carlitos, 10 months old. His mother had to be taken to a psychiatric hospital a couple of months ago. Carlitos is now being taken care of by the nuns and the other mothers. But you could tell that he was missing to have a mom to take care of him. The nuns have asked for a termination of parental rights (his mother nearly killed him) and there was an assessment. But it could take a couple of months until a decision is being taken. The mother (she is 14) might recover, but it is not known at this point whether she will be able to take care of him. The home would love for him to be adopted into a loving family, but it is a difficult process here.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
One glass to many
Last night we went to a Happy Hour. Our regular babysitter had a party to go to, so we thought we were taking Lilli. But then one of our neighbors who has two girls herself volunteered to babysit. We gratefully took her up on that offer.
The Happy Hour was at the house of one of dh's colleagues. It was fantastic. Very nice people there. I had a great time and maybe one glass to many. I started with red wine and chatted away. Then I wanted to pour more red wine. I still had some left in my glass, but I just felt I needed some more. So I poured. Turned out I poured Chardonnay in my red wine. I hadn't looked at the label and made my own rose. After that I continued with Chardonnay. Very nice Chardonnay. Maybe a little too much.
When we got home, we picked up Lilli. Our neighbor was disappointed that she didn't stay the whole night. We hadn't really discussed this before and just assumed we were going to pick her up. Her girls (they are 4 and 5) were very disappointed this morning after waking up: "Where is the baby???"
Lilli woke up during the night. I think she had a nightmare or something because she was just crying inconsolable. I then gave her something to drink to soothe her. I hope that won't mean that she will wake up every night now for a little drink.
When I went back to bed, I lay awake for a long time. Wine does that to me. I don't sleep well after drinking too much. Then I dreamed that it was already 8 a.m. and I had overslept. We went to the market this morning and had planned on leaving around 7:30 a.m. Finally I realized that it couldn't be so late yet, because it was still dark outside.
At 7 a.m. I finally got up, but I feel like crap this morning and still feel tired and exhausted. Dh and I had planned a movie night for tonight. I wonder whether I can keep my eyes open.
I usually don't drink a lot. I am always the designated driver, because I don't mind not drinking. While we were TTC, I didn't want to reduce my chances by alcohol (I wonder why all those girls get pregnant while they get laid drunk). So I was avoiding alcohol where I could. but I guess it doesn't really matter right now. Those rotten ovaries of mine are not producing any good eggs anyways...
Sew: I had some testing done after my second miscarriage and the doctors didn't find any blood clotting disorder. It is probably an egg quality issue, but they aren't really sure. I wish there was something I could do to improve egg quality...
The Happy Hour was at the house of one of dh's colleagues. It was fantastic. Very nice people there. I had a great time and maybe one glass to many. I started with red wine and chatted away. Then I wanted to pour more red wine. I still had some left in my glass, but I just felt I needed some more. So I poured. Turned out I poured Chardonnay in my red wine. I hadn't looked at the label and made my own rose. After that I continued with Chardonnay. Very nice Chardonnay. Maybe a little too much.
When we got home, we picked up Lilli. Our neighbor was disappointed that she didn't stay the whole night. We hadn't really discussed this before and just assumed we were going to pick her up. Her girls (they are 4 and 5) were very disappointed this morning after waking up: "Where is the baby???"
Lilli woke up during the night. I think she had a nightmare or something because she was just crying inconsolable. I then gave her something to drink to soothe her. I hope that won't mean that she will wake up every night now for a little drink.
When I went back to bed, I lay awake for a long time. Wine does that to me. I don't sleep well after drinking too much. Then I dreamed that it was already 8 a.m. and I had overslept. We went to the market this morning and had planned on leaving around 7:30 a.m. Finally I realized that it couldn't be so late yet, because it was still dark outside.
At 7 a.m. I finally got up, but I feel like crap this morning and still feel tired and exhausted. Dh and I had planned a movie night for tonight. I wonder whether I can keep my eyes open.
I usually don't drink a lot. I am always the designated driver, because I don't mind not drinking. While we were TTC, I didn't want to reduce my chances by alcohol (I wonder why all those girls get pregnant while they get laid drunk). So I was avoiding alcohol where I could. but I guess it doesn't really matter right now. Those rotten ovaries of mine are not producing any good eggs anyways...
Sew: I had some testing done after my second miscarriage and the doctors didn't find any blood clotting disorder. It is probably an egg quality issue, but they aren't really sure. I wish there was something I could do to improve egg quality...
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Nope
Hubby brought home a pregnancy test yesterday. As expected I am NOT pregnant. So now I am wondering: is it menopause already? First I get my period every 20 days and now it has said goodbye and isn't showing up at all... Weird. I wonder what is going on. I guess I will have to go and see a doctor one of those days.
I have spent way to much time on the computer recently. It is my only connection to the outside world right now. We still don't have our car here, therefore I feel sometimes a little isolated.
I am going for a coffee with a new friend I made here. Have all a great day!!!
I have spent way to much time on the computer recently. It is my only connection to the outside world right now. We still don't have our car here, therefore I feel sometimes a little isolated.
I am going for a coffee with a new friend I made here. Have all a great day!!!
Monday, March 2, 2009
Update on my dad
I haven't written about my dad's health for a while. He has been doing o.k. without any major health crisis. In October he had a metastasis in his pelvic area, but radiation took care of it.
Two weeks ago he was admitted back to the hospital after being really weak after a procedure in a doctor's office. The hospital found water in his lungs and bacteria in his blood which they suspected came from the port through which the Chemotherapy is administered. He had a surgery to take out the port and was sent home. The water in his lung was ignored. He was sent home last week.
Today my mom took him to the doctor for an ultrasound. It turns out the water was still there. A lot. The doctor send him to a specialist. The specialist sent him to another hospital. They drained 2,5 liters of water out of his lung. He seems to be doing alright. I can't believe that they ignored this issue at the other hospital...
Two weeks ago he was admitted back to the hospital after being really weak after a procedure in a doctor's office. The hospital found water in his lungs and bacteria in his blood which they suspected came from the port through which the Chemotherapy is administered. He had a surgery to take out the port and was sent home. The water in his lung was ignored. He was sent home last week.
Today my mom took him to the doctor for an ultrasound. It turns out the water was still there. A lot. The doctor send him to a specialist. The specialist sent him to another hospital. They drained 2,5 liters of water out of his lung. He seems to be doing alright. I can't believe that they ignored this issue at the other hospital...
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