1 more week

I contacted the doctor yesterday. She asked me how I was feeling. I told her I didn't feel anything. She said that this was normal and to not worry. I am trying not to. Sometimes I think of a plan B. What if this doesn't work? With our history, there is quite a likely chance it won't work. Implantation is not something that can be controlled. Should we try again with donor eggs? Save the money for another adoption?

Courtesy to L. I am also dealing with a cold - runny nose and cough and all...

I definitely am at a better place than I was nearly 4 years ago when we tried for the first time. I am not as obsessed with every twinge and every pain. One more week and we will know. And no matter what the result will be. We will be o.k. We have a beautiful baby in our house right now.

Day 6 - 9 days to go!

The ball was great. But it was hard because I felt I needed to explain myself all the time why I wasn't drinking. Everybody around me got trashed. I was sipping my water all night...

Symptoms so far: none. Sore breasts from the drugs. Nothing more. This is the least movement I ever had in my belly. It seems like nothing is going on down there. I am of course convinced that it didn't work at all. On Friday I felt a little queasy and I was a little excited because I hope maybe that this was the beginning of a lot more queasiness. Nope.

Yesterday I had to get my bloodwork done. I went early in the morning to avoid having to wait too long. I arrived at the hospital at 6:39 a.m. (the lab doesn't open until 7:00 a.m.) and took my number. There were already 8 people in front of me. I still had to wait about an hour until I was done...

I really hate it that it seems I always have to remind the nurse to either put on gloves before drawing my blood or to change their gloves. This is such a standard in the U.S., but here people just seem completely careless. One nurse recently told me: "Don't worry, I have kids!". I didn't know what she wanted to express with that, but I guess she wanted to say that she was being careful. Especially if you have kids, you should put on gloves, dear lady!

After the blood draw I asked the cashier at what time the results would be ready and whether they could send them via email (which they have done in the past). He said to call after one. Of course I called after one to hear that they couldn't email them because it was a week-end and their system doesn't seem to work on week-ends. I then asked them to tell me the results. Well, guess what? There is a law preventing them to do it. They were willing to fax them to me, but we don't have a fax number here. I couldn't really go back to pick them up either because I had to get ready for the ball. In the end I asked them to send them to the Dr.'s office. But I am pretty sure that they didn't do that. So tomorrow my doctor will see two day old progesterone and estradiol results... Why does everything have to be so complicated here?

Day 3 - 12 more days to go...

I went in for an acupuncture session today. She didn't put a lot of needles in. It still felt relaxing. Except someone thought it was o.k. to bring their screaming child to the Spa I went to and the child pretty much screamed the whole time. I was upset about it, then I felt bad for thinking that way. I just think it's not appropriate to bring your child to a place where people come for tranquility and relaxation.

I had two coloring sessions already. I think they help to calm down. Whether they help with implantation, I won't know until November 16th.

We are supposed to go to a ball on Saturday. I feel horrible about the thought of having to explain to people that I won't be able to drink. I don't really feel like going, but it's kind of a work thing...

Lilli is doing my hair as I am typing (one of her newest passions - I call it revenge), so I should probably get going and spend some time with her... Will keep you updated.

3 Babies on Board

This morning we transferred three babies into my uterus. The whole time nobody ever spoke about embryos, they were talking about babies all the time. One was a grade A and two were grade B. The transfer went very smooth.

Now I am pregnant until proven otherwise and I have entered the dreaded Two-Week-Wait. I will have to do a blood test every couple of days. The pregnancy test is on November 16th. I will also stay on estrogen and progesteron as well as the prednisone and all the other vitamins I am taking.

When we arrived at the clinic, a lady approached us. She said that she was working with the clinic on alternative medicine. What she basically does, is give you relaxation techniques. So while doing the transfer, she was telling me how we were on the beach and to look at the waves etc.

Before she had given me some papers to color. They are supposed to represent the process, so my brain would release some endorphin or something. That was a little weird. Dh did get his own set of papers to color... We might have a coloring session with Lil this afternoon. She also gave us a CD with music which I am supposed to hear every night. I might schedule an appointment with her in a couple of days to visualize the babies growing inside me.

I love, love, love our doctor. She said that they have done everything they can. Now it is in God's hands. We prayed the same thing on the way to the hospital.

Doctor wants me to rest for the next two days. I can do that. I love being spoiled by dh. He made a great Mac'n Cheese for lunch. She wants me to continue this diet where I don't eat sugar and chocolate and no carbs at night. I am craving chocolate so badly now. I want a molten chocolate cake so badly...

6-3=3

Of the 6 eggs we got, two weren't mature. One didn't fertilize. So, it looks like we might be able to transfer three on Tuesday. Hold your fingers crossed that they grow and stick this time.

My mood has started to go down. I don't know whether it's the progesterone or the estrogen pills I have started taking today, but I don't feel as positive as I have the past couple of weeks. I hope my mood is improving again soon.

Strong and sticky embryos needed

Today at the retrieval we got six little eggs. Let's hope the ICSI will do the trick and let them grow into six strong and sticky embryos.

My doctor had told me to be there at nine in the morning. On the paperwork it said 8:00 a.m. So dh and me decided to leave the house at 8:00 a.m. When we arrived at the clinic's lab, nobody was there. We were waiting for about 20 minutes until around 8:40 a.m. someone showed up.

The retrieval was actually the easiest I ever had I think. Of course apart from the IV which I don't like. But the anesthesiologist was really good, so it barely hurt.

The doctor was at a conference, so her husband performed the retrieval. She later emailed me to say how happy she was that we got six. It isn't a huge number, but I think that's pretty much how many we had every single time we have done this.

When we asked Lilli in the past whether she wanted a brother or a sister, she just said: "No, thank you!" This evening when I asked her, she said she wanted a sister. That would be great, wouldn't it?

We are a go!

Went to see the doctor again today. Took Lilli with me. She brings me luck as the waiting time is so much shorter when she is coming along...

The doctor won't be here on Saturday, so her husband will do the retrieval. She saw 6 follicles on one ovary and maybe one on the other. I don't know what happened to my uterus, but the ultrasound hurt like hell again. I think it's tilted even more than it was in the past.

I asked her for her guess. She said that everything looks perfect, but there is the big question that we don't know. Implantation is something that they can't influence. That's why I am taking the Prednisone and all the other medication.

Retrieval is scheduled for Saturday. I will have to take estrogen pills and progesterone suppositories. Has anyone ever taken estrogen pills after retrieval and it has worked for you? Would love to hear some insights.

It looks like transfer will be on Tuesday. We will find out whether #4 was our lucky charm on November 15th. I think I will schedule another acupuncture for Friday. And then I'll do one on Tuesday after transfer.

Lilli is just standing behind me in big-girl underwear and doing my hair. I keep on reminding her that she needs to use the potty in case she has to go...