The agency called us. Our birthmother had an ultrasound yesterday. The baby can come any day now and it will be a big baby... 8 to 9 pounds they think. Maybe I need more of the bigger clothes and we should leave the small clothes at home. They will call us as soon as she is in labor. I pray that she is at peace with her decision.
It is starting to sink in. We might have a baby soon!!! I am so excited.
Yesterday our neighbors and friends came over to congratulate us. The offered to help us with anything we would need. I feel so blessed by everybody around us. Everybody has offered help in some form or another.
I can't wait for this baby to come. I'd rather be on an airplane right now. But I have a test on Friday, my final language exam. Hopefully I will be able to master that. Then I am ready for this baby to come. How about Saturday? Sunday would be fine, too. Just soon. PLEASE!!!
We have been waiting for more than three years to add to our family. Now I feel like a child waiting for Christmas and birthday together. And I remember how long the times between those dates were. Now I am amazed every year that Christmas is around the corner. Tomorrow in 5 months is Christmas Eve, guys....
Showing posts with label preparation for baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label preparation for baby. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
56 more days
Needless to say that we didn't get to talk to the birth mom last weekend. Instead I had a very unpleasant conversation with my mom. I really would like to say that she is super excited to be a grandma to an adopted child. But I can't. She hasn't asked me a single time how the process goes or if we have heard any updates. She hasn't asked me a single time what she can get for her grandson. I know that her mind circulates around my dad's health right now. She has to take him to his radiation every single day and he will have another cycle of chemotherapy next week.
In addition, for her adoption is a foreign concept. I know that she will come around eventually once she holds the baby in her arms. But I really feel neglected. I wrote her a letter recently where I told her how important her support for our adoption was for us and where I translated an article about adoptive grandparents. She called me after she received the letter four months ago and told me she was going to write me back. Of course I haven't received a single line from her. I didn't even get a card from her for my birthday. She has given me money, though.
If I was pregnant, she would probably call all the time to make sure I am alright. Instead I talked to my Dad the last five times when I called my parents and my Mom was always somewhere else. She didn't call back a single time. She hasn't called me at all recently. I told her all of that and she told me she didn't want to interfere in my life. I told her that her non-interference appears like disinterest to me. She blamed the distance on the fact that she doesn't have more interest in our expanding family. It was like a slap in my face. I know that she is not happy with how I choose my life because it brought me to the U.S. and away from her. But she should find some consolation in the fact that I have a wonderful husband that tries to make me happy (even if that seems difficult these days).
Therefore I would like to know from all of you who have adopted: have you had similar situations with your parents? Are they all super excited? How did you help them with the process?
My DH told me yesterday that my BIL and wife are expecting again. They are due in December when our nephew will be 18 months old. Of course they didn't need any medical interventions to conceive and could just do it by having sex. I was very depressed after hearing these news. Not because I am not happy for them.
But because I am jealous that some people just get to plan when they have their babies and conceive without any problems and costs while others are trying and trying while spending lots of money with no results.
I would love to spend our money in other areas of our life. I would love to have more kids after our adoption, but the question when we will be able to adopt again will probably be one of finances. And I hate that idea. I'd rather spend the money on my kids then on the process to conceive/adopt them. I feel like something has been robbed from my life. I was supposed to be the one that conceives without problems. I was the one that was supposed to pop out one baby after the next. What went wrong in this equation?
Tonight we will go to our friends house. I am talking about the one that has volunteered to give us some baby stuff. I am very happy about this and feel ready to take some more baby stuff into our house. Maybe the fact that we are not going out there to buy it, helps too.
Sorry for this negative blog entry. I hope I'll be able to regain some positive attitude tomorrow. When I was lying in bed last night, crying, and talking to God, he heard me. I felt already better this morning...
In addition, for her adoption is a foreign concept. I know that she will come around eventually once she holds the baby in her arms. But I really feel neglected. I wrote her a letter recently where I told her how important her support for our adoption was for us and where I translated an article about adoptive grandparents. She called me after she received the letter four months ago and told me she was going to write me back. Of course I haven't received a single line from her. I didn't even get a card from her for my birthday. She has given me money, though.
If I was pregnant, she would probably call all the time to make sure I am alright. Instead I talked to my Dad the last five times when I called my parents and my Mom was always somewhere else. She didn't call back a single time. She hasn't called me at all recently. I told her all of that and she told me she didn't want to interfere in my life. I told her that her non-interference appears like disinterest to me. She blamed the distance on the fact that she doesn't have more interest in our expanding family. It was like a slap in my face. I know that she is not happy with how I choose my life because it brought me to the U.S. and away from her. But she should find some consolation in the fact that I have a wonderful husband that tries to make me happy (even if that seems difficult these days).
Therefore I would like to know from all of you who have adopted: have you had similar situations with your parents? Are they all super excited? How did you help them with the process?
My DH told me yesterday that my BIL and wife are expecting again. They are due in December when our nephew will be 18 months old. Of course they didn't need any medical interventions to conceive and could just do it by having sex. I was very depressed after hearing these news. Not because I am not happy for them.
But because I am jealous that some people just get to plan when they have their babies and conceive without any problems and costs while others are trying and trying while spending lots of money with no results.
I would love to spend our money in other areas of our life. I would love to have more kids after our adoption, but the question when we will be able to adopt again will probably be one of finances. And I hate that idea. I'd rather spend the money on my kids then on the process to conceive/adopt them. I feel like something has been robbed from my life. I was supposed to be the one that conceives without problems. I was the one that was supposed to pop out one baby after the next. What went wrong in this equation?
Tonight we will go to our friends house. I am talking about the one that has volunteered to give us some baby stuff. I am very happy about this and feel ready to take some more baby stuff into our house. Maybe the fact that we are not going out there to buy it, helps too.
Sorry for this negative blog entry. I hope I'll be able to regain some positive attitude tomorrow. When I was lying in bed last night, crying, and talking to God, he heard me. I felt already better this morning...
Friday, June 13, 2008
If you knew...
Dear Baby,
Maybe you are kicking your mom or you are probably sleeping right now in your moms belly while I am thinking about you. I am thinking about you a lot. If you knew what is going to happen in a couple of weeks you would probably be very excited and scared. You don't have to be. I am sure your birth might be a traumatic experience with all the light and stress after the nice, safe, and cozy place you are at. But don't worry: later in life you won't even remember it any more.
And I just wanted to let you know how much you will be loved once you are here. Your daddy and I won't be your first parents, but we will be the onces that will love you, raise you and provide you with everything that you will need. Your first parents love you, too. They already have several children and can't afford another baby. That is why they picked us to raise you. They know that we can provide for you in a way that they won't be able to. But we hope that you will meet them and be able to develop a relationship with them later in life. We want you to know what your heritage is and we want you to be proud of it.
It is so difficult to convey all the love your daddy and I have for you. We can't wait for you to be here. We have so much love between us, we can't wait for you to share this love with us. There will be so many firsts in your life and in our life in the next weeks, months, and years. We are looking forward to every single first, from your first cry, to your first diaper, to your first bottle, your first smile, to your first tooth, to your first steps, to the first time that you call us "Mommy" and "Daddy".
We have longed for you for so long. Already we love you so much and we can't wait for you to be here. We are counting down the days for you to be born and to be with us.
Mommy and Daddy
Maybe you are kicking your mom or you are probably sleeping right now in your moms belly while I am thinking about you. I am thinking about you a lot. If you knew what is going to happen in a couple of weeks you would probably be very excited and scared. You don't have to be. I am sure your birth might be a traumatic experience with all the light and stress after the nice, safe, and cozy place you are at. But don't worry: later in life you won't even remember it any more.
And I just wanted to let you know how much you will be loved once you are here. Your daddy and I won't be your first parents, but we will be the onces that will love you, raise you and provide you with everything that you will need. Your first parents love you, too. They already have several children and can't afford another baby. That is why they picked us to raise you. They know that we can provide for you in a way that they won't be able to. But we hope that you will meet them and be able to develop a relationship with them later in life. We want you to know what your heritage is and we want you to be proud of it.
It is so difficult to convey all the love your daddy and I have for you. We can't wait for you to be here. We have so much love between us, we can't wait for you to share this love with us. There will be so many firsts in your life and in our life in the next weeks, months, and years. We are looking forward to every single first, from your first cry, to your first diaper, to your first bottle, your first smile, to your first tooth, to your first steps, to the first time that you call us "Mommy" and "Daddy".
We have longed for you for so long. Already we love you so much and we can't wait for you to be here. We are counting down the days for you to be born and to be with us.
Mommy and Daddy
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
2 more months
First, thank you all for your comments on my post from yesterday. They are highly appreciated and I will get back to some of you who have offered to help. I just need to find the time to really work on these issues. Between Spanish class and work I barely have time for anything else...
I had an evaluation in Spanish today and it sounds like I am on track. I probably will even be able to finish my class before August. The teacher was happy with my level of fluency and the fact that I just talk. I guess I need to slow down a little in order to think about what I am saying before I speak and control what is coming out of my mouth more to avoid little mistakes I am still making.
Yesterday I didn't have time to write, so I just write this as my post from yesterday. Two more months until our lives will change completely. At least we hope so. Even if I try not to get too excited it is hard not to think about it all day. I now feel comfortable talking about it and sharing our news with most of our friends. But I still have this nagging feeling about the possibility of her changing her mind. I pray for her every day and hope that she is in peace with her decision.
I also tried to set up a time and date with our friend that has offered to bless us with lots of baby stuff that she doesn't need any more. I think I am now o.k. with having some baby stuff in the house. That is already a progress for me, right? I feel that once the baby is here, we won't have a lot of time to think about these things because we will need them... And it might be difficult to do all the shopping with a newborn in tow... But I still think we will wait with the car seat and stroller until we are much closer to the due date.
We haven't heard anything from the agency. Our request to receive an update on the pregnancy was mailed to them, but the emails keep bouncing back. I mailed it to them in the normal mail yesterday. I don't know whether that is a good sign or a bad sign. The expectant mother is now in week 31 of her pregnancy and the baby should be about 4 pounds. I can't wait to hold him for the first time. How am I getting through the next 61 days???
I had an evaluation in Spanish today and it sounds like I am on track. I probably will even be able to finish my class before August. The teacher was happy with my level of fluency and the fact that I just talk. I guess I need to slow down a little in order to think about what I am saying before I speak and control what is coming out of my mouth more to avoid little mistakes I am still making.
Yesterday I didn't have time to write, so I just write this as my post from yesterday. Two more months until our lives will change completely. At least we hope so. Even if I try not to get too excited it is hard not to think about it all day. I now feel comfortable talking about it and sharing our news with most of our friends. But I still have this nagging feeling about the possibility of her changing her mind. I pray for her every day and hope that she is in peace with her decision.
I also tried to set up a time and date with our friend that has offered to bless us with lots of baby stuff that she doesn't need any more. I think I am now o.k. with having some baby stuff in the house. That is already a progress for me, right? I feel that once the baby is here, we won't have a lot of time to think about these things because we will need them... And it might be difficult to do all the shopping with a newborn in tow... But I still think we will wait with the car seat and stroller until we are much closer to the due date.
We haven't heard anything from the agency. Our request to receive an update on the pregnancy was mailed to them, but the emails keep bouncing back. I mailed it to them in the normal mail yesterday. I don't know whether that is a good sign or a bad sign. The expectant mother is now in week 31 of her pregnancy and the baby should be about 4 pounds. I can't wait to hold him for the first time. How am I getting through the next 61 days???
Saturday, May 10, 2008
3 more months
We have three more months until our baby is born. But will it really be our baby? Will the birthmother change her mind? The person from the agency had told us we might be able to have a telephone conference with the birthmom after we send the check. We hadn't heard from them afterwards so I called them and asked for the telephone conference. We had the impression that this was what the birthmother desired. But it turns out she is as scared as we are and doesn't really want to talk to us right now. I can understand that on the one hand. On the other hand I had hoped that after a telephone call I might feel safer with the whole situation. Now I feel not a little bit safer and we have to wait three long months until we find out whether it will work out.
I wish we wouldn't have had the experience with the other birthmother that decided to parent, then I might feel the way I do.
We haven't bought anything yet. But last week-end we went to the hell for all infertile women: Babies R Us. All people around us where either pregnant or were pushing a cart with a newborn or had a toddler with them. I felt like a cheater. Who entitled me to be there? There I was, not pregnant, but in a place destined for pregnant women or mothers. I was wondering what the other people thought when we were looking at car seats and strollers and cribs... Did they think I was not far along yet in my pregnancy? Or did they just think that we were probably shopping for someone else? It felt very weird. I found super cute onesies and was close to buying them. But then I thought: better wait for the right moment. Which I feel is after the baby is born and we know for sure that we will take it home. At least we decided that we'd like a car seat that can fit on a stroller. And that we would like a pack'n'play. And on some other stuff.
I wish we wouldn't have had the experience with the other birthmother that decided to parent, then I might feel the way I do.
We haven't bought anything yet. But last week-end we went to the hell for all infertile women: Babies R Us. All people around us where either pregnant or were pushing a cart with a newborn or had a toddler with them. I felt like a cheater. Who entitled me to be there? There I was, not pregnant, but in a place destined for pregnant women or mothers. I was wondering what the other people thought when we were looking at car seats and strollers and cribs... Did they think I was not far along yet in my pregnancy? Or did they just think that we were probably shopping for someone else? It felt very weird. I found super cute onesies and was close to buying them. But then I thought: better wait for the right moment. Which I feel is after the baby is born and we know for sure that we will take it home. At least we decided that we'd like a car seat that can fit on a stroller. And that we would like a pack'n'play. And on some other stuff.
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