Back for two days...

The visit with the family went very well. Of course everybody loved Lilli. Grandma loved her so much that she wanted to hold her a lot. Lilli slept nearly the whole time in the car and woke up only for feedings. She slept very good the first couple of days. But Sunday night she decided she didn't want to sleep by herself in the travel bed. Every time she would fall asleep and we put her time she woke up and screamed. It was a rough night. In the end I ended up holding her on my side and she slept with us in bed. I don't want to do that every night. First it is very unsafe to do it. And I can't sleep either because every time she moves I am awake. In addition to being concerned that she is either going to fall out of the bed, being suffocated by a blanket or being killed by me rolling onto her on accident.

When we got home the first night she didn't want to go to sleep either. Yesterday she was very fussy all day long. I assume she has a growth spurt or something. Boy, it was a hard day. Nothing seemed to make her happy. I was concerned about the night. But she was fine at night. She went to bed in her moses basket and slept like a baby - literally. But she didn't sleep longer than 4 hours. But after the nights before I was very happy with that result.

I talked to my Mom yesterday. She asked me whether we had received a package from them. We haven't. It was meant to be a surprise and she sent it away on August 1. It can take a while for things to arrive from Europe, but that long? I am really sad. Instead we are receiving other packages from friends nearly every day. We have been so blessed - in every regard.

I have to catch up on all your blogs during the weekend. We will be traveling again tomorrow - this time to see Grandpa in Raleigh who is very excited to see his granddaughter. We will be back on Monday night. On Tuesday our sweet time together at home as parents with Lilli is over. Dh has to go back to work. I am a little sad. It was a great time together. We didn't get everything done I wanted to get done before we move, but at least we are working on it. Anyone would like to buy a 2003 Volkswagen Passat?

Visiting the family

Lillian is a really good sleeper once she finally sleeps. Today she didn't want to go to bed before 2:30 a.m. (my poor husband, I was in bed at 11:00 p.m.), but she didn't wake up until 7:00 a.m. And then again at 10:00 a.m. I am just wondering how we can convince her to go to bed a little earlier...

We are heading out of town today to visit my dh family in upstate New York. Lilli's grandma is so excited to meet her for the first time as are all the aunts and her great-grandparents.

I have a work commitment tonight and we plan on leaving directly after that. Lilli and my dh will attend as well. We will start driving up north and then we will overnight whenever we are getting tired. Tomorrow for lunch we will meet Lilli's great-great-aunt. She is the sister of my husbands grandfather. She is well in her nineties, but still lives by herself with her dog. I only met her one time so far, but really liked her and am looking forward to visit her.

I don't know wether I will be able to update from the road since it seems like dh and I are in a constant fight for the computer these days... Have a great weekend. My dear TOOTPU friends, I am sorry I will miss another meeting. Have fun!!!;

Back to work...

Thank you all for your tips on the hair-care. That is really helpful.

The weekend was superbusy. Our nephew is a handful work. He showed us all the areas of our house that needed baby-proofing. Because we are moving in October, it won't be necessary in this house. There are so many people that we would like to see that we overbooked a little. It was stressful, but still great to be able to see all those friends.

This morning I went back to work. I am now in a consulting position with my office. I only go in 1-2 days a week, the rest I work from home. And I can bring Lilli if I don't have anyone to take care of her (aka my husband)... It is only for the next month until my successor is trained and a wonderful gesture of my boss.

Lilli stayed home with her Daddy today. I thought they were going to have a great time and I was really jealous that I was the one that had to get up and go to work while he got to spend the day with her. But Lilli had different plans. She was moody today and didn't want to go to sleep anywhere else than at my husband's chest. Of course by the time I came home she was sleeping in her swing like a little angel and wouldn't wake up for another 2 hours...

And here are finally some more pictures of our Lilli and also a picture of me with her.

Couldn't you have your own?

I just put Lilli (I think, we'll go with that writing for now) down. Before she was sleeping on my knees. Today she hasn't been a good sleeper. She starts screaming out of the blue. When I pick her up, she stops. That is amazing. To be able to quiet her down. I guess that is what it means to be a Mommy.

I didn't have this Mommy-feeling right from the start. I loved from the start to take care of her. I enjoyed spending time with her and cuddling her. I love her. I want to protect her from getting hurt. But how does that make me different from a baby-sitter? I guess it will take a while until I truly feel like a Mommy. But I assume that this is normal.

Unfortunately I can't email pictures from the computer I am currently using (dh has the other one), but I heard you. I will add some as soon as I can. My BIL and SIL are coming into town today with our nephew. SIL is pregnant with the second baby. I will be o.k. this time. We also received a huge box from them this week - with tons of cute outfits, shoes, a book, etc. She usually doesn't call me. Recently she just called to chat about the baby. I guess that makes me finally a member of the privileged club of Moms. She told me how she changes her baby's diapers about 10-12 times per day. I felt really bad, because we don't change them quite that often... But she is also breastfeeding, that could be the difference.

Yesterday we took Lilli to her first softball game. I have played in a team for the last two seasons and had a great time. I really love that game. Lilli slept nearly through the whole game just to wake up and drink right before the end. When I was standing outside the fence with her, I noticed a couple of tourists (a couple with their adult daughter) wondering about the game. So I explained to them what we were playing. It turns out they were from my home country. We chatted along and they seemed very nice. Of course they asked about Lilli's age and everything. I talked about her Dad and said that he is playing. They immediately assumed he was one of our black players. When I pointed her real Dad out they looked surprised so I said that Lilli is adopted.

I am very open with this as it is nothing I am ashamed of. It is something I am proud of. While we were waiting for the ICPC clearance, we had several people approach us and tell us how great I looked for just having given birth four days earlier. Or one woman that said "She looks just like her Dad - the Mexican". My husband is actually half Japanese and half White. I was kind of surprised to learn that people thought I had given birth to her.

Back to my original thought. After I told the tourists that she is adopted the wife asked me: "Couldn't you have your own children?" I have to say that I was really shocked and stunned by that question. I mean, who asks a complete stranger about their infertility? I just said something like "Oh, we always wanted to adopt." Then she said "But wouldn't it be great if she had a brother or a sister?" I just answered "Sure, that would be great."

I know that this woman didn't have any intention to hurt me. I know that she hasn't experienced infertility. But it sounded a little bit like she was trying to tell me that adopting is only second choice, like she was not really our child. And that hurt me. She is our child. This is the way we are building our family and it is o.k. It is none of their business why we have decided to go down that road. I realize that I will have to practice answers to these kind of questions. Especially with Lilli once she is a little older. I wonder what she would have said if I had just said something like "This is personal and none of your business" or "Why do you want to know?" or "You know after three years of trying, three IVFs, and two miscarriages, we decided to move on. Do you need any detailed information about my miscarriages as well?"

Does anyone of you guys have a great answer to that question?

Here is another question to those of you that have adopted afro-american children. How often do you wash their hair? Lilli has completely straight her right now. It just starts to curl if it is wet. We just gave her a bath yesterday, but today her hair looks oily again. Do you have any recommendations on hair care products for me? When can we start using them?

Time flies by

I can't believe how fast the time flies by when you have children. It is so much faster than before. When Lillian is awake she wants to be entertained or is thirsty or needs her diaper changed. When she is asleep we try to get everything done in the house and with our move. We had also a lot of friends come by in the last couple of days... We have been blessed with so many things for Lillian - it is wonderful.

The doctor's appointment went very well. Lillian has gained 1 pound and 1 ounce since birth and was up to 9 pounds 5 ounces last Friday which puts her in the 80th percentile for weight. She also grew 1,5 inches and was 22 inches long which puts her in the 100th percentile for length. She will be a tall girl, that is for sure. The doctor thought she is in excellent condition which made her parents very proud. It is nice to hear that you are doing something right...

She also has started to sleep 6 hour stretches at night which has been really nice for us. Next week we will travel to see the grandma in upstate NY and meet some more family members.

I feel like I am neglecting you all. I try to keep up with all the blogs, but sometimes I just don't make it. But please be assured that you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Home, sweet home...

We arrived back in Virginia very late on Saturday night. Lilli was so sweet. She slept during the first flight and didn't even notice the take-off and the landing. She loaded her diapers twice during the second flight. After that she was still fussy, but eventually went to sleep. When we arrived home, I changed her diapers and she had another load in there. I felt terrible to have had waited so long to change her.

It is great to be back home. Lilli now understands the difference between day and night and goes right back to sleep after we feed her her bottle during the night. The first few nights home she decided at 4 a.m. that it was playtime and Daddy had to play with her for an hour...

She has met already some of our friends and neighbors here. Everybody loves her and tells us how sweet she looks with her head full of hair. She even already had two playdates. One with our friend's daughter on Monday and one today with the twins of some other friends. The twins were so tiny compared to her. They are 16 days older than she is, but they look so much tinier. Lillian has already outgrown the newborn onesies we had received from some of our friends. She is wearing 0-3 months clothing now...

On Monday night her belly button fell off. It was time, because that thing smelled really rotten. We have saved it so far, because I can't bring myself to throw it out yet. What have you guys done with yours???

Yesterday we had a little shopping trip to Target and Babies R us. We bought a little bath tub and gave Lilli her first bath. She seems to like it much better than the sponge bath we usually give her in the mornings.

Lilli also has started to smile occasionally. But I know that she is not yet doing it consciously. It is still very nice to see her smile. It makes my heart melt.

She loves her little playmat. When we put her underneath she gets so excited that she eventually spits up from excitement. But she loves moving the little animals and things that hang from up there. And she understands that she can move them with her hand. Off course we have the smartest baby in the world. :-)

Tomorrow she will have her first doctor's appointment. We are very excited. Two friends and my mother have recommended we write everything down we want to know. We will do that tonight.

I am surprised how fast and how easy the transition to parenthood was. It feels like we have made bottles forever and changed diapers forever.

My dear husband and I are still debating how to write Lilli. Lilly, Lili, Lilli, there are so many possibilities. I was writing it first with a y, but for some reason I like it better with an i at the end now.. Any suggestions?

ICPC clearance

We received ICPC clearance this morning and just signed all the necessary paperwork at the agency. That means we are ready to fly back home. Yeah!!! We can't wait to be back and introduce Lillian to all our friends and family and are very excited that we won't even have to change our flights.

This week here has been great. Bonding with her has not been an issue at all. It feels like we have been taking care of her forever. And we love to do it. Sometimes we just stare at her while she is sleeping and are utterly amazed how lucky and how blessed we are with her. We are so proud to be her parents. Even at the agency they admitted that she is the most adorable baby they have ever placed. :-)

We basically spent a family vacation here. Everyday we went somewhere else and did something fun. Lilly is so easy going, it has been no problem to take her everywhere. She went to a State Park with us, shopping, to a library, etc.

Lilly sleeps most of the time and only wakes up for her feeding. And if she wakes up, she usually wants to eat. It is her favorite thing to do. Afterwards she has this milk coma look on her face and it is just the cutest thing.

Because I am not breastfeeding (that would have been to much stress after all), it is really easy to prepare her bottles. I always thought babies needed warm bottles, but they don't. They drink formula at whatever temperature they are used to. We just pour the water in the formula, shake it, press out the air bottles, and she is good to go. My dh has started calling her formula "Baby crack".

I know that you all would like to see more pictures. So here they come. The first one shows Daddy feeding his little princess and the second one is her in her cute little Outfit.