4 months old

Lilli had her four month birthday yesterday. She is now able to roll over from her back to her tummy which she does sometimes in her sleep. She probably wakes up wondering who put her in that position and starts crying because she doesn't really like to be on her tummy. I have a feeling that she is getting better with it.

She recently learned to shake her head. We ask her a question like "Are you tired?" and she is just shaking her head and laughing. It is adorable and so funny.

We went swimming with her last week in our apartment building. She really seemed to like it. A friend of ours is just in town with her baby boy who is just two months older than Lilli and we spent a lot of time together last week. It was wonderful to have someone to spend the days with.

I realize that sometimes I feel a little bit lonely. Of course Lilli is always there, so I am not really lonely in the classical sense. But I really miss having people around me during the day. When I worked, I had such a structured day. I had a certain time to get up and a certain time to go to the office. Now I don't have that structure anymore. I still try to get up early, usually when dh is still around. It is nice to have someone to watch Lilli when I take my showers. She is usually wide awake and gets bored after a while and starts screaming. After I get ready, I get her ready and then we are just hanging out. Usually she goes down for a nap between 10:00 and 11:00 a.m. and then we go out and run some errands after I have a quick lunch. But I still miss the interaction with people, especially with new moms that I can relate to. It is the first time in my life that I haven't really worked for more than 4 months (technically I did work until mid September, but in reality I didn't). I miss working, having something meaningful to do.

But I realize that it would be difficult right now. It would take away time from Lilli. And she needs a lot of my attention all day long. She is growing up so quick and is only little once. Therefore I want to take this time to be there for her. And because of the transition we are still in, it wouldn't make sense to start a job anyway. But I really hope that this state doesn't last that much longer. I am really looking forward to getting to Venezuela. Unfortunately we don't have our visas yet.

I have decided to take Lilli to see her grandparents in Germany as soon as possible. I will try to book the flight after Thanksgiving. We will go up to Upstate New York for Thanksgiving to see dh's family. While I am not looking forward to the snow and the cold, I am glad that he will have a chance to see his mom and grandparents. Fortunately we are not driving up there. We have booked our flights for tomorrow night. A Happy Thanksgiving to everybody!!!