The waiting game...

Sorry for not updating you. I ended up hand-delivering the check to the lady in the adoption agency. So I took the metro in my lunch break and walked a couple of blocks. I thought she might not appreciate my effort and that I maybe should have called to announce it. But I only wanted to drop of the check, so I figured it would only take a second. I walked in the agency and asked for my case worker. The lady at the reception told me she was on the phone. But then she slipped her a note and my case worker came out. We talked for a short time and I handed her the check. DONE. Another thing to cross of the list. I also asked her, how long it is going to take until we hear from the social worker. She said I should call her, if I haven't heard from the social worker by Tuesday. That means, we are in the waiting game - again.

It feels like I spent the last 10 years of my life waiting.

First I was waiting for the right husband. Which took a freaking long time! We finally met in July of 2003. I was 29 at that time. That is when it all started. After I was sure he was the right man for me, I was waiting. For his proposal. It happened pretty quick in June of 2004.

After our wedding in October of 2004, I was waiting for our church wedding until trying to conceive. Well, actually my husband did. We disagreed on it, but because marriage is about compromise, I was willing to wait. Then after the church wedding in July of 2005, I was waiting for conception to take place naturally. That didn't happen. Instead I got a cyst in December of 2005. Then I was waiting for the cyst to disappear by its own. Of course that didn't happen, so I was waiting for the surgery in April of 2005. After the surgery, we had decided to try to conceive on our own for a couple of months. So I was waiting again. Then I had another cyst in May of 2006. We tried to get that under control with Lupron and I waiting for my temporary menopause to be over. Then that didn't work. So I was waiting again. For my next surgery.

After the surgery in October of 2006, I was waiting for my health insurance to start in January of 2007. You guess right, that didn't happen. The insurance screwed up, so I had to wait until February 2007. Then we finally started the first IVF cycle. I had to wait for the medications to work. I had to wait for the retrieval. I had to wait for the transfer. Then I was in the two-week-wait for the result in March of 2007. When the cycle failed and we had our first bitter negative, I wanted to wait a month before starting another cycle. Then we conceived naturally and I had to wait for more blood results. When they confirmed an impending miscarriage in April 2007, I had to wait again. For the miscarriage to take place. After the miscarriage, I was waiting for another cycle to start in May 2007. When we finally were ready for that, I had to wait for more medications to work, another retrieval and transfer and for another negative after two weeks. After that, we decided to start an immediate new cycle in June of 2007. Another wait for more medications to work, another retrieval and transfer and for a low positive beta after the two week wait. Then we waited for more blood tests. And for a rising beta. Which happened first. Then we waited for another blood test and received a falling beta. So we had to wait again. For another miscarriage to take place in July of 2007.

After that, we decided to move on to adoption. So we waited. First for the information material to arrive in our mail box. Then for the information meeting to take place. Then we finally decided on an agency. Then we filled out the application in October of 2007. And we waited for the pre-adoption group to take place in December of 2007. We waited for the intake meeting at the agency. They wouldn't want to let us come in while in fertility treatment. Parallel we did a last try in assisted conception - an IUI cycle. So we waited for the medications to work again. For the IUI. Another two week wait. For nothing. Then I waited for the day three blood work to come back. With a FSH level, that indicated that we needed to wait. AGAIN.

Then we waited for the intake meeting at the agency to be scheduled. Then we waited for all our paperwork to be completed. Then for our reference letters and our FBI clearances. Then we were waiting to be matched with a social worker. And now we are waiting for her to call.

Is anybody with me here that I have done my fair share of waiting? I am Mrs. Inpatient. I want things to happen. Now. I don't want to wait until she decides she has some time to finally think about calling us. Maybe next week...

If you believe in God and you pray: Please pray for the social worker to call soon. Please pray for our baby which may be growing inside another woman's womb somewhere in this country at this moment. Please pray for his/her mother and her health. And last, but not least: Please pray for patience for me.