A complicated relationship

Update: My mom just called. My brother's girl-friend hosted a surprise party for my brother. My parents went in. I don't know why she didn't tell me. Everything seems alright now. My brother was crying when she hugged him and congratulated him on his birthday... I am so glad that this worked out.

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I was so upset this morning. My brother has his 40th birthday today. And my parents congratulated him............ via telephone. I have to add that they live 3 miles from his house. Their excuse was that my dad couldn't climb the stairs at my brother's house (my brother lives on the third level). How can you do something like this to your son? Especially since they drove 50 miles yesterday to visit my dad's brother and his family. I was so upset when my brother told me about it. He had invited them for a coffee and they had declined. I called my mom and told her that they should at least go there and congratulate him. Even if my dad has to stay in the car and they are only ringing his doorbell to show him that they made the effort to see him. He is their son!!!

She said that he disappointed her a lot this year, but she has forgiven him. Well, if she has forgiven him, why is she behaving like a 5 year old with a tamper tantrum? Why didn't she treat him the way like the lost son in the bible??? I ended up hanging up on her wishing her a great day. I tried to call her later on, but she wouldn't answer the phone.

She even told my brother's girl-friend (with whom she spoke on the phone last night) that she thought whether she should call at all. Of course my brother's girl-friend told him. I don't even want to imagine how much that must have hurt him.

The relationship between my parents and my brother has always been difficult and a complicated one, more so in the last 15 years. I believe my mom is upset that my brother doesn't give her the support she might like with my dad. My dad had a stroke two years ago and hasn't been doing so well since then. He spent 84 days in hospitals this year alone...

My brother has his own business, so he doesn't have the time to take care about the family farm (we don't have any animals any more, but still several fields which are leased). And he is visiting my parents regularly. Maybe not as often as they would like, but he comes there about once a week.

I am still so freaking angry about my mom. I don't really know what to do. They live in Europe, so I can't go and talk to her about it. Why do family relation-ships have to be so complicated???