My honest husband and my freaking impatience

I am back on medication. We started injecting the fertility meds last Friday. So now I have to go back to my doctor's office tomorrow for another blood work and maybe even a follicle TV show. I hope they are all doing great in there and having a blast with all the drugs we are putting in there every single day...

I had a serious discussion with my dh this week-end. He is such an honest person and doesn't want to lie to the agency about our fertility treatments. While I really appreciate his honesty in general, I am a little disappointed that he doesn't want to lie about our IUI. I mean, the chances are only 15% anyway. And we still could in theory get pregnant naturally - even if it is very unlikely.

And even if I would get pregnant during this IUI cycle, who knows whether it would be a viable pregnancy this time? Maybe I would just be on another emotional roller coaster with nothing to show for at the end. And even if I would get pregnant with a viable pregnancy, I would still want to go ahead with the adoption. Why can't you have two kids at the same time? There are people that are adopting twins etc. And we want five kids as soon as possible...

So I will have to tell the agency the truth. Which then means, we won't be able to schedule our intake meeting before January... Another month without no results and no step ahead. The problem is that I am so freaking impatient that it is hard to wait another day. A month seems like forever. And I am really concerned that we won't be able to get this done before we move overseas. I cried last Friday, because I am terrified that no birthmother would want to give her child to us if we move away a few weeks later. Even if we give this child an opportunity to learn three different languages and travel the world...

The agency hasn't called me back yet (neither on my cell phone nor in the office). I think they guessed that I was pretty upset. Maybe I scared them off. I won't call them for avoiding to disclose the IUI. Maybe by the time they call, we have already done it...