Today is doomsday for us. I just went in for my blood test. This time I even talked to another lady in the waiting room. Everybody is always so quiet and nobody talks to each other. I am on a mission to change this.
I am pretty sure it hasn't worked because I think I saw something on the TP this morning (sorry for TMI). I will get the results this afternoon and hope to be able to update you on the outcome this afternoon.
Yesterday we had a friend from Europe in town who stayed with us last night. The poor guy had applied for a job in D.C. and booked his flight after they invited him for an interview. He had to fill out in his application whether he has a visa for the U.S. or not and he put "No" there. They still invited him for the job interview. Well, when he had the interview, they asked him again "Do you have a visa?". He answered "No." Then the woman said that she couldn't continue the interview then because they couldn't sponsor anyone at this point. Are they crazy. I mean, he paid his flight to come to the freaking interview, he gave them the right information ahead that he didn't have a visa and they still invited him to come. He talked with them twice before. Couldn't they ask the visa question on the phone before they have him come over? I organized him a job interview with a friend and I hope that something is gonna work out for him.
When we got home late last night, we found out that he and his girl-friend are also TTC. He already has a teenage son with his Ex-Wife and didn't think anything was wrong with him. But obviously due to his and his girl-friends age that hasn't been so easy either. They started in May and got pregnant, but had a miscarriage two weeks ago in the eighth week of pregnancy. They had already seen the heartbeat of the baby so it must have been very hard for them. We ended up talking for a long time over the pain of infertility. It is surprising how many people are going through this. He was quite glad to be able to talk about it with us, because he doesn't know any other people who are struggling with infertility as well.
Showing posts with label IUI. Show all posts
Showing posts with label IUI. Show all posts
Friday, December 7, 2007
Thursday, December 6, 2007
12dpiui - one more day
Another day down. I just called the doctor's office and I can come in for the blood test tomorrow. The last day I didn't really fell anything except some stomach pain and several times a shooting pain. After all IUI has just a 15% chance to work anyway. So I am preparing myself for another negative. I still haven't POAS.
Yesterday we had mail from the adoption agency. They sent us our homework for Saturday, including several articles to read and a questionnaire to fill out. The questions were on the articles and most were pretty easy, just the last two I didn't understand. I'll have to ask my hubby about it... I didn't think we had to do homework for the agency, but I just see it as another step that brings us hopefully closer to our dream of enlarging our family.
Last night we sat down and decided on our future health insurance. We both had a gut feeling that we wanted to change back to Blue Cross/Blue Shield and after some plan comparison this is exactly what we did. They don't pay any infertility treatment, but we won't need that next year as we are focusing primarily on adoption.
The other thing we did last night, was to get our X-mas decoration down from the attic and spread it all over the house. And hopefully this week-end we will go out and buy a Christmas Tree. I am not used to having a tree up weeks before Christmas. In my family we didn't put the tree up before the 24th of December which is also the evening when we celebrated Christ's birth. Most of the time, it was my dad bringing in the tree from outside and my mom decorating it. I didn't really like decorating the tree, but got dragged into it several times. Since my dad had his stroke that tradition has changed and Christmas at home will never be the same. I am scared to go home for Christmas because it used to be such a great night when I was growing up. It was really special. But now it is just another night and not that special any more. I guess I have to realize that I am an adult now and Christmas with my parents will never be the same.
And Christmas is the time of the year when infertility hurts like crazy. Christmas is supposed the feast of the family. For me it is not any more the symbol of joy and life. For me it is symbolized by grief. I have my family far away from me. And everything that is so special about it, is a constant reminder of our infertility. I just want it to be over with so that we can transit to the next year.
What will 2008 bring for us? Apart from another move overseas? Will we have a child to love next Christmas?
I still remember that my RE told me last year: "We gonna make 2007 a great year for you!" And I believed it. And a year later, here we are: more than 15.000 dollars poorer and even after two miscarriages and three IVFs not one step closer to having a baby in our arms.
Yesterday we had mail from the adoption agency. They sent us our homework for Saturday, including several articles to read and a questionnaire to fill out. The questions were on the articles and most were pretty easy, just the last two I didn't understand. I'll have to ask my hubby about it... I didn't think we had to do homework for the agency, but I just see it as another step that brings us hopefully closer to our dream of enlarging our family.
Last night we sat down and decided on our future health insurance. We both had a gut feeling that we wanted to change back to Blue Cross/Blue Shield and after some plan comparison this is exactly what we did. They don't pay any infertility treatment, but we won't need that next year as we are focusing primarily on adoption.
The other thing we did last night, was to get our X-mas decoration down from the attic and spread it all over the house. And hopefully this week-end we will go out and buy a Christmas Tree. I am not used to having a tree up weeks before Christmas. In my family we didn't put the tree up before the 24th of December which is also the evening when we celebrated Christ's birth. Most of the time, it was my dad bringing in the tree from outside and my mom decorating it. I didn't really like decorating the tree, but got dragged into it several times. Since my dad had his stroke that tradition has changed and Christmas at home will never be the same. I am scared to go home for Christmas because it used to be such a great night when I was growing up. It was really special. But now it is just another night and not that special any more. I guess I have to realize that I am an adult now and Christmas with my parents will never be the same.
And Christmas is the time of the year when infertility hurts like crazy. Christmas is supposed the feast of the family. For me it is not any more the symbol of joy and life. For me it is symbolized by grief. I have my family far away from me. And everything that is so special about it, is a constant reminder of our infertility. I just want it to be over with so that we can transit to the next year.
What will 2008 bring for us? Apart from another move overseas? Will we have a child to love next Christmas?
I still remember that my RE told me last year: "We gonna make 2007 a great year for you!" And I believed it. And a year later, here we are: more than 15.000 dollars poorer and even after two miscarriages and three IVFs not one step closer to having a baby in our arms.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Honey, let's adopt those four...
I should not have complained about not having any symptoms at all. Yesterday I started to get some cramping (like AF is on her way) and have occasional twinges here and there today. Tomorrow I might call the doctor to find out when I can come in for a blood test. Or should I just wait until AF is here? But the progesterone is probably keeping her away for now...
Yesterday night I had a little meltdown. My husband told me about an email from a friend of us. He and his wife just got married last June, but they were separated because of their jobs for a whole year (with occasional visits). They are expecting as well.
I also got an email from another friend with ultrasound pictures to announce their pregnancy. While I am happy for every single one of them, it hurts so much to have to face the fact that so many people don't seem to have any problems.
Oh, and have I mentioned already that I have a cousin who is two years older than me who just had his fifth child last year? I can't keep track any more with the names and ages of all his children and wouldn't be surprised if they had another one soon. His wife is a doctor and they are very catholic.
It is like the whole wide world around us is pregnant, while we have to wait another months until we can finally start the home study process. The agency called yesterday. They have received the check that I mailed them and they'll mail us information on our mandatory pre-adoption class that we have to take. It will be this Saturday. So at least we will be able to get ahead a little bit.
But back to my meltdown. I did some internet research about waiting children and found those four adorable Asian siblings ages 2 years 9 months to age 7 years that are waiting for a forever family.
I took the computer and showed them to my husband and told him, we should adopt them. He was a bit surprised, because I had told him all the time I want a baby. I still want a baby. But I mean, who is going to adopt four children at once? I understand that it might be a bit hard to go from zero to four children in a couple of weeks. We don't have enough bedrooms for four children. And I don't know whether we could managed financially with four children (clothes, school, daycare) and only one income at this point. But I really feel like I would like to adopt a sibling group. Maybe later. I definitely will keep on checking on them. Maybe if they are still available next summer... We might have more room in our new apartment...
But my dh just took me in his arms and listened to me crying about how much the pain of infertility hurts. He is definitely the best husband in the whole wide world because he can stand me!!!
Yesterday night I had a little meltdown. My husband told me about an email from a friend of us. He and his wife just got married last June, but they were separated because of their jobs for a whole year (with occasional visits). They are expecting as well.
I also got an email from another friend with ultrasound pictures to announce their pregnancy. While I am happy for every single one of them, it hurts so much to have to face the fact that so many people don't seem to have any problems.
Oh, and have I mentioned already that I have a cousin who is two years older than me who just had his fifth child last year? I can't keep track any more with the names and ages of all his children and wouldn't be surprised if they had another one soon. His wife is a doctor and they are very catholic.
It is like the whole wide world around us is pregnant, while we have to wait another months until we can finally start the home study process. The agency called yesterday. They have received the check that I mailed them and they'll mail us information on our mandatory pre-adoption class that we have to take. It will be this Saturday. So at least we will be able to get ahead a little bit.
But back to my meltdown. I did some internet research about waiting children and found those four adorable Asian siblings ages 2 years 9 months to age 7 years that are waiting for a forever family.
I took the computer and showed them to my husband and told him, we should adopt them. He was a bit surprised, because I had told him all the time I want a baby. I still want a baby. But I mean, who is going to adopt four children at once? I understand that it might be a bit hard to go from zero to four children in a couple of weeks. We don't have enough bedrooms for four children. And I don't know whether we could managed financially with four children (clothes, school, daycare) and only one income at this point. But I really feel like I would like to adopt a sibling group. Maybe later. I definitely will keep on checking on them. Maybe if they are still available next summer... We might have more room in our new apartment...
But my dh just took me in his arms and listened to me crying about how much the pain of infertility hurts. He is definitely the best husband in the whole wide world because he can stand me!!!
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
10 dpiui
Today I officially reached 10 dpiui. Meghan from A Little Sweetness who is two days ahead of me, tested that day. I won't. The last times when we did IVF I tested ahead of the blood test, I ended up starting to bleed the moment I was doing the test. That day I swore to myself to never do another early test again.
When I talked to my doctor's office last week, they didn't even tell me when I needed to come in for my blood work. So I'll just wait it out. I have no symptoms what so ever even the occasional twinge and the sore boobs are gone. Therefore I already lost hope that it might actually have worked. I also have the wet feeling I have right before AF shows up. My temperature is still up but I know that it comes from the progesterone. So I guess I just wait two more days and then I'll call the doctor's office and ask when I should come in. But I am pretty sure AF is on her way. I hope we will be able to do another IUI before the end of the year.
I don't think I mentioned it, but last week I called the friend that I met for lunch a couple of weeks ago. She has already a kid, but she had two miscarriages this year (who happened to be around the same time as mine). I hadn't heard from her in a while and wanted to see how she is doing. She just found out that she is actually pregnant again! What a joy for her. I pray and hope that everything will go fine this time.
I was tagged by Lindsay from Looking for 2 Lines.
Rules are: list a word that describes you for every letter of the alphabet. offer as much or as little explanation as you wish. please keep the words positive (for example, don’t use “fat” for F or “lame” for L), and feel free to get creative. tag as many or as few people as you wish. Link back to your tagger and forward to your taggees.
I have cheated a little, because I felt like I needed more words for some things.
A - Adopting - we have started the process on our third wedding anniversary
B - Baby - I really want one. Asap. See I
C - Clumsy - I am left handed and left handed people are supposedly clumsy. I definitely am.
D - Development work. My heart is in development work and I've worked in that field for a couple of years.
E - Extrovert. Absolutely.
F - Friends - they are super important to me.
G - God - I am still working on my relationship with him, but have made a little progress
H - Husband - My best decision ever to marry this awesome man
I - Impatient - I am the most impatient person in this world. I want everything now.
- Infertility - has definitely changed my life
- IVF - we tried that 3 times already
- IUI - we are currently trying that
J - Jokes - I love to laugh, and my dh is a great jokester. So we are a perfect match.
K - Kitchen - I love to cook
L - Loving
M - Matchmaking - I love to introduce people to each other and I can't count how many people met through me or have fallen in love after I introduced them, gotten married, and had babies
Mosquitoes - I hate mosquitoes and we have a whole battery of tools to drive them away from our nice little deck
N - Networking - I love to network and bring people together.
- Neighbors - we have great neighbors and are friends with several of them.
O - Organize - I love to organize Happy Hours or Networking Events.
P - Parents - We definitely want to become parents. Soon, see I.
Q - Quadruplets? - Bring it on.
R - Rollercoaster - I don't like the emotional rollercoaster, but infertility takes you along the ride.
S - Sudoku - I am addicted, but just to the Samuraiversion in the Sunday edition of the Washington Post
T - TiVo - I love my TiVo.
U - Umbilical cord - will my dh ever get to cut one of those?
V - Vacation - I could need one right now.
Venezuela - we'll move there next summer.
W - Washington D.C. - a great town with lots of interesting people
X - Xing - one of my favorite internet networking sites
Y - Yoka - my blogger name
Z - Zebra - I saw them in Africa.
Please consider yourself tagged.
When I talked to my doctor's office last week, they didn't even tell me when I needed to come in for my blood work. So I'll just wait it out. I have no symptoms what so ever even the occasional twinge and the sore boobs are gone. Therefore I already lost hope that it might actually have worked. I also have the wet feeling I have right before AF shows up. My temperature is still up but I know that it comes from the progesterone. So I guess I just wait two more days and then I'll call the doctor's office and ask when I should come in. But I am pretty sure AF is on her way. I hope we will be able to do another IUI before the end of the year.
I don't think I mentioned it, but last week I called the friend that I met for lunch a couple of weeks ago. She has already a kid, but she had two miscarriages this year (who happened to be around the same time as mine). I hadn't heard from her in a while and wanted to see how she is doing. She just found out that she is actually pregnant again! What a joy for her. I pray and hope that everything will go fine this time.
I was tagged by Lindsay from Looking for 2 Lines.
Rules are: list a word that describes you for every letter of the alphabet. offer as much or as little explanation as you wish. please keep the words positive (for example, don’t use “fat” for F or “lame” for L), and feel free to get creative. tag as many or as few people as you wish. Link back to your tagger and forward to your taggees.
I have cheated a little, because I felt like I needed more words for some things.
A - Adopting - we have started the process on our third wedding anniversary
B - Baby - I really want one. Asap. See I
C - Clumsy - I am left handed and left handed people are supposedly clumsy. I definitely am.
D - Development work. My heart is in development work and I've worked in that field for a couple of years.
E - Extrovert. Absolutely.
F - Friends - they are super important to me.
G - God - I am still working on my relationship with him, but have made a little progress
H - Husband - My best decision ever to marry this awesome man
I - Impatient - I am the most impatient person in this world. I want everything now.
- Infertility - has definitely changed my life
- IVF - we tried that 3 times already
- IUI - we are currently trying that
J - Jokes - I love to laugh, and my dh is a great jokester. So we are a perfect match.
K - Kitchen - I love to cook
L - Loving
M - Matchmaking - I love to introduce people to each other and I can't count how many people met through me or have fallen in love after I introduced them, gotten married, and had babies
Mosquitoes - I hate mosquitoes and we have a whole battery of tools to drive them away from our nice little deck
N - Networking - I love to network and bring people together.
- Neighbors - we have great neighbors and are friends with several of them.
O - Organize - I love to organize Happy Hours or Networking Events.
P - Parents - We definitely want to become parents. Soon, see I.
Q - Quadruplets? - Bring it on.
R - Rollercoaster - I don't like the emotional rollercoaster, but infertility takes you along the ride.
S - Sudoku - I am addicted, but just to the Samuraiversion in the Sunday edition of the Washington Post
T - TiVo - I love my TiVo.
U - Umbilical cord - will my dh ever get to cut one of those?
V - Vacation - I could need one right now.
Venezuela - we'll move there next summer.
W - Washington D.C. - a great town with lots of interesting people
X - Xing - one of my favorite internet networking sites
Y - Yoka - my blogger name
Z - Zebra - I saw them in Africa.
Please consider yourself tagged.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
4 dpIUI
Sorry, I haven't been blogging for a couple of days. I have started to get my usual crazy 2 WW symptoms. I am questioning with every twinge whether it has worked or not. I really didn't want to get my hopes up this time. The health insurance covers it and we have maxed out our deductible for this year. So we decided on this IUI cycle. But now we have to wait for the outcome until we can go ahead with the adoption process. And that sucks. I'd rather go ahead as I don't really expect this IUI to end up in a pregnancy.
I have to go in my doctor's office on Friday for a blood test to figure out whether my progesterone levels might be too low. I guess it still will be to early for an HCG test. But when is the day for that? Hopefully I will find out on Friday.
Last Friday one of our friends gave birth to her fourth child. She has only one tube, so they had their first child through IUI. Then she had twins via IVF two years ago. Her husband had to go to Iraq for a year and when he came home for a short break in March, she got pregnant naturally. She is already 40. They didn't expect this at all to happen and she was really in a shock at first. They have been married for about 12 years and have never used birth control. God really works in miraculous ways.
Another common friend called me on Sunday to ask whether I had a hospital number for our friend. We chatted a while and then she went on about how she delivered her baby. I know that she had a miscarriage at 12 weeks and they had some difficulties to get pregnant. But she freaking has a baby. And she just continued about births and stuff.
I was really shocked about her insensitivity as it was not the first time she did something like that to me. Doesn't she realize that I might never experience a baby moving and growing inside me and to give birth to a baby myself??? She knows about our troubles and our miscarriages. And then when we met a couple of months ago (about a month after my last miscarriage) she asked me at a Happy Hour: So when are you getting ready to get pregnant? I couldn't believe it. Is she missing a sensitivity gen? She has gone trough some infertility issues herself, doesn't she understand how much it hurts to have people ask you such stupid questions?
On a different note: we finally decided to finish our basement. And this week the contractor started to work. It is always a surprise to come home and see the progress. Unfortunately the first day they had put the drywall in front of our closet with shoes and jackets. So yesterday I didn't have access to them. Fortunately they have put the drywall on the other side of the wall now. My dh had the idea to document the progress via video camera. A great idea. So yesterday I was the special reporter from our basement while a Sprite bottle served as my microphone... I love my husband because we can have so much fun together.
Last night I made an instant package of tabbouleh salad (which tasted surprisingly good!) with a ham topped with onions and cheese crusted Brussels sprout. I love to cook and try out new things... I don't like processed food, so most of our meals are home-cooked.
And I desperately feel like I need to drag my little ass back to the gym. I haven't been in weeks. I just have a hard time motivating myself once I am home in my cozy house and laying comfortably on the couch....
I have to go in my doctor's office on Friday for a blood test to figure out whether my progesterone levels might be too low. I guess it still will be to early for an HCG test. But when is the day for that? Hopefully I will find out on Friday.
Last Friday one of our friends gave birth to her fourth child. She has only one tube, so they had their first child through IUI. Then she had twins via IVF two years ago. Her husband had to go to Iraq for a year and when he came home for a short break in March, she got pregnant naturally. She is already 40. They didn't expect this at all to happen and she was really in a shock at first. They have been married for about 12 years and have never used birth control. God really works in miraculous ways.
Another common friend called me on Sunday to ask whether I had a hospital number for our friend. We chatted a while and then she went on about how she delivered her baby. I know that she had a miscarriage at 12 weeks and they had some difficulties to get pregnant. But she freaking has a baby. And she just continued about births and stuff.
I was really shocked about her insensitivity as it was not the first time she did something like that to me. Doesn't she realize that I might never experience a baby moving and growing inside me and to give birth to a baby myself??? She knows about our troubles and our miscarriages. And then when we met a couple of months ago (about a month after my last miscarriage) she asked me at a Happy Hour: So when are you getting ready to get pregnant? I couldn't believe it. Is she missing a sensitivity gen? She has gone trough some infertility issues herself, doesn't she understand how much it hurts to have people ask you such stupid questions?
On a different note: we finally decided to finish our basement. And this week the contractor started to work. It is always a surprise to come home and see the progress. Unfortunately the first day they had put the drywall in front of our closet with shoes and jackets. So yesterday I didn't have access to them. Fortunately they have put the drywall on the other side of the wall now. My dh had the idea to document the progress via video camera. A great idea. So yesterday I was the special reporter from our basement while a Sprite bottle served as my microphone... I love my husband because we can have so much fun together.
Last night I made an instant package of tabbouleh salad (which tasted surprisingly good!) with a ham topped with onions and cheese crusted Brussels sprout. I love to cook and try out new things... I don't like processed food, so most of our meals are home-cooked.
And I desperately feel like I need to drag my little ass back to the gym. I haven't been in weeks. I just have a hard time motivating myself once I am home in my cozy house and laying comfortably on the couch....
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Inseminated
We just came back from our IUI. They were really busy today, mabye because they were closed yesterday for Thanksgiving...
There was a really nice woman in the waiting room and we were smiling at each other several time. I thought she was about my age. But nobody ever talks there or says something to other waiting patients. It is also kind of weird to say: "So what are you waiting for? Are you doing IVF, IUI, or what is your problem?". But I wish I would have talked to her. You can never have enough pals who are going through the same.
I was very impressed with my husbands sperm. Not only did he have 64 Mio., but also a motility of 80%. He always has this kind of a result... Very impressive. The IUI went very smooth. Our doctor was very happy. I asked him whether they can run out again. But he said that would only happen if he had done a very bad job. So I don't worry about using the restroom as I usually do after our IVFs.
I was surprised that I don't have to take progesterone like after the IVFs. The doctor wants me to come in next Friday for a blood test. If my levels are low then, I will start progesterone.
We hope that my hubbies boys are celebrating a nice fertilization party inside me. Wouldn't that be great???
Now I am lying on the couch and enjoy the Tyra Banks Show. Later we are invited for a Thanksgiving dinner at our neighbour's house. That will be our fourth time eating turkey this year and the third day in a row. But I really love turkey... Maybe I need another little snack before that...
There was a really nice woman in the waiting room and we were smiling at each other several time. I thought she was about my age. But nobody ever talks there or says something to other waiting patients. It is also kind of weird to say: "So what are you waiting for? Are you doing IVF, IUI, or what is your problem?". But I wish I would have talked to her. You can never have enough pals who are going through the same.
I was very impressed with my husbands sperm. Not only did he have 64 Mio., but also a motility of 80%. He always has this kind of a result... Very impressive. The IUI went very smooth. Our doctor was very happy. I asked him whether they can run out again. But he said that would only happen if he had done a very bad job. So I don't worry about using the restroom as I usually do after our IVFs.
I was surprised that I don't have to take progesterone like after the IVFs. The doctor wants me to come in next Friday for a blood test. If my levels are low then, I will start progesterone.
We hope that my hubbies boys are celebrating a nice fertilization party inside me. Wouldn't that be great???
Now I am lying on the couch and enjoy the Tyra Banks Show. Later we are invited for a Thanksgiving dinner at our neighbour's house. That will be our fourth time eating turkey this year and the third day in a row. But I really love turkey... Maybe I need another little snack before that...
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Who put my ovaries in the wrong way?
This morning I went to my doctor's office for another bloodwork and a sonogram. The nurse did the sonogram which was very painful. For some reason my ovaries seem to be at strange and unusual places in my body. She asked me whether I had a major surgery where they could have slapped them around. But I didn't. It always takes them forever to find them. The doctor knows me so well that he always ends up finding them really quick. But I guess the nurse is having a harder time. So the question is: who put my ovaries in the wrong way? I for sure, didn't.
The good news is that we are obviously speeding up on this side. The nurse found 3 follicles and thought we could do the trigger shot either today or tomorrow. I didn't ask about the other ones, but the one follicle was already 21 mm. Pretty big. We have been only stimulating for 5 days, which seems like a new record for me. Their office will be closed on Friday, so I assume the IUI will be on Saturday. Which will be fantastic because I don't have to worry about work and my hubby won't have any issues either. Great!!! I thought it was gonna be at the end of next week (day 14 of my cycle or so). So you little follicles inside me. Please grow and bring some nice eggs inside. And PLEASE let them have a good quality... Isn't it amazing how I start getting my hopes up? Despite the fact that the chances are only 15%. But my hubbies boys are great, so I don't have any concern on his side...
I'll probably won't be around as we start our little Thanksgiving holiday this afternoon. So, in case you won't hear from me: Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!!!
The good news is that we are obviously speeding up on this side. The nurse found 3 follicles and thought we could do the trigger shot either today or tomorrow. I didn't ask about the other ones, but the one follicle was already 21 mm. Pretty big. We have been only stimulating for 5 days, which seems like a new record for me. Their office will be closed on Friday, so I assume the IUI will be on Saturday. Which will be fantastic because I don't have to worry about work and my hubby won't have any issues either. Great!!! I thought it was gonna be at the end of next week (day 14 of my cycle or so). So you little follicles inside me. Please grow and bring some nice eggs inside. And PLEASE let them have a good quality... Isn't it amazing how I start getting my hopes up? Despite the fact that the chances are only 15%. But my hubbies boys are great, so I don't have any concern on his side...
I'll probably won't be around as we start our little Thanksgiving holiday this afternoon. So, in case you won't hear from me: Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!!!
Monday, November 19, 2007
My honest husband and my freaking impatience
I am back on medication. We started injecting the fertility meds last Friday. So now I have to go back to my doctor's office tomorrow for another blood work and maybe even a follicle TV show. I hope they are all doing great in there and having a blast with all the drugs we are putting in there every single day...
I had a serious discussion with my dh this week-end. He is such an honest person and doesn't want to lie to the agency about our fertility treatments. While I really appreciate his honesty in general, I am a little disappointed that he doesn't want to lie about our IUI. I mean, the chances are only 15% anyway. And we still could in theory get pregnant naturally - even if it is very unlikely.
And even if I would get pregnant during this IUI cycle, who knows whether it would be a viable pregnancy this time? Maybe I would just be on another emotional roller coaster with nothing to show for at the end. And even if I would get pregnant with a viable pregnancy, I would still want to go ahead with the adoption. Why can't you have two kids at the same time? There are people that are adopting twins etc. And we want five kids as soon as possible...
So I will have to tell the agency the truth. Which then means, we won't be able to schedule our intake meeting before January... Another month without no results and no step ahead. The problem is that I am so freaking impatient that it is hard to wait another day. A month seems like forever. And I am really concerned that we won't be able to get this done before we move overseas. I cried last Friday, because I am terrified that no birthmother would want to give her child to us if we move away a few weeks later. Even if we give this child an opportunity to learn three different languages and travel the world...
The agency hasn't called me back yet (neither on my cell phone nor in the office). I think they guessed that I was pretty upset. Maybe I scared them off. I won't call them for avoiding to disclose the IUI. Maybe by the time they call, we have already done it...
I had a serious discussion with my dh this week-end. He is such an honest person and doesn't want to lie to the agency about our fertility treatments. While I really appreciate his honesty in general, I am a little disappointed that he doesn't want to lie about our IUI. I mean, the chances are only 15% anyway. And we still could in theory get pregnant naturally - even if it is very unlikely.
And even if I would get pregnant during this IUI cycle, who knows whether it would be a viable pregnancy this time? Maybe I would just be on another emotional roller coaster with nothing to show for at the end. And even if I would get pregnant with a viable pregnancy, I would still want to go ahead with the adoption. Why can't you have two kids at the same time? There are people that are adopting twins etc. And we want five kids as soon as possible...
So I will have to tell the agency the truth. Which then means, we won't be able to schedule our intake meeting before January... Another month without no results and no step ahead. The problem is that I am so freaking impatient that it is hard to wait another day. A month seems like forever. And I am really concerned that we won't be able to get this done before we move overseas. I cried last Friday, because I am terrified that no birthmother would want to give her child to us if we move away a few weeks later. Even if we give this child an opportunity to learn three different languages and travel the world...
The agency hasn't called me back yet (neither on my cell phone nor in the office). I think they guessed that I was pretty upset. Maybe I scared them off. I won't call them for avoiding to disclose the IUI. Maybe by the time they call, we have already done it...
Friday, November 2, 2007
A positive meeting with my RE
I have to update my last post. Once the clock hit 7:30 p.m. the kids started pouring in to trick or treat. We ended up having at least 25-30 kids. Some of them had really sweet costumes. I can't wait for the day when we will be able to go to do this with our kids. But that will still take a while... Once again DH showed his amazing skills with kids. He will be a great dad. I can't wait to see him become one.
Thank god, it is Friday. I look forward to having time off and relax a little bit. I will be traveling part of next week so I need to get my stuff ready. I just got back from my RE Dr. Wonderful. He is super nice and we really like him. I went in there really prepared. I brought my cycle charts along and had made a list with all the questions I wanted to discuss with him.
He doesn't think I have a luteal phase problem. He thinks that my progesteron levels just don't reflect yet in my blood. And he is not opposed to me taking progesteron to be on the safe side.
Dr. Wonderful will start the paperwork today so that we can do two IUI cycles before the end of the year. He prefers a stimulated cycle with injectables. Makes probably sense.
On the Miscarriage diagnosis, he still thinks that it is the endometriosis that is causing the miscarriages or failed implantation.
And he has worked with our adoption agency before, so that is good as well. He will be able to do all the paperwork they request. So one more problem solved.
Thank god, it is Friday. I look forward to having time off and relax a little bit. I will be traveling part of next week so I need to get my stuff ready. I just got back from my RE Dr. Wonderful. He is super nice and we really like him. I went in there really prepared. I brought my cycle charts along and had made a list with all the questions I wanted to discuss with him.
He doesn't think I have a luteal phase problem. He thinks that my progesteron levels just don't reflect yet in my blood. And he is not opposed to me taking progesteron to be on the safe side.
Dr. Wonderful will start the paperwork today so that we can do two IUI cycles before the end of the year. He prefers a stimulated cycle with injectables. Makes probably sense.
On the Miscarriage diagnosis, he still thinks that it is the endometriosis that is causing the miscarriages or failed implantation.
And he has worked with our adoption agency before, so that is good as well. He will be able to do all the paperwork they request. So one more problem solved.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Why not try IUI???
Last night we had our weekly bible study group. We meet once a week and discuss how we can integrate the bible in our daily life.
When one of our small group leaders asked for prayer request my dh actually shared with our group that we just started the adoption process. I felt a little weird first, because we don't really know a lot of the people in that group very well. And discussing infertility with them made me feel a little unfortable. But I guess the more people know the better the chance of finding a birthmother through our extended network of families and friends. The others were very supportive and we found out that the mother of one of the girls was adopted and that our leader has actually an adopted sister. It is strange, that whenever you share adoption with others that people can really relate to it and I was really surprised how many people are adopted or have an adopted family member. If you think about the scrutinity of the whole process I am surprised that so many people are adopting. Most of them must have done a home study and have been going through the same emotions and struggles as us.
On Friday I have an appointment with my RE. We have fulfilled our deductible for this year and our health insurance covers three IUIs per lifetime. So why not just use at least two of them this year??? I don't think we will stay with this health insurance forever, so we can it as long as they cover it anyway.
I don't really expect a positive outcome from the IUIs, but why not give it a try? I know that the chances of success are only 15% if everything is perfect. An normal IVF cycle has a 40% success chance, so obviously it is much higher. But IUI is much cheaper. And we only would have to pay 10% of the eligible expenses... Maybe we can still squeaze in two cycles this year...
When one of our small group leaders asked for prayer request my dh actually shared with our group that we just started the adoption process. I felt a little weird first, because we don't really know a lot of the people in that group very well. And discussing infertility with them made me feel a little unfortable. But I guess the more people know the better the chance of finding a birthmother through our extended network of families and friends. The others were very supportive and we found out that the mother of one of the girls was adopted and that our leader has actually an adopted sister. It is strange, that whenever you share adoption with others that people can really relate to it and I was really surprised how many people are adopted or have an adopted family member. If you think about the scrutinity of the whole process I am surprised that so many people are adopting. Most of them must have done a home study and have been going through the same emotions and struggles as us.
On Friday I have an appointment with my RE. We have fulfilled our deductible for this year and our health insurance covers three IUIs per lifetime. So why not just use at least two of them this year??? I don't think we will stay with this health insurance forever, so we can it as long as they cover it anyway.
I don't really expect a positive outcome from the IUIs, but why not give it a try? I know that the chances of success are only 15% if everything is perfect. An normal IVF cycle has a 40% success chance, so obviously it is much higher. But IUI is much cheaper. And we only would have to pay 10% of the eligible expenses... Maybe we can still squeaze in two cycles this year...
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