Check out this article.. It is written very nicely. But look at the comments. The paper has deleted one comment from McNasty already. I remember it said something along the lines that it probably is God's will that those people are infertile and they shouldn't even try to get pregnant.
I am struggling very much if I read something like that. Should we just leave everything to God? Infertility is a disease. When we have any other disease we go see a doctor to cure it, if it is possible. How is it God's will, when mothers or fathers kill their children? Is it God's will that drug-addicted mothers never seem to have any infertility issues? How dare these people that wrote this nasty comment tell other people how they should live their life? They have never experienced infertility and the pain that comes with it. How can they judge other people for the ways they choose to build their families?
I am personally offended and struggling especially because I am wondering if it is God's will that we won't have children. How could he put such a strong longing and desire to be a mommy in my heart if he wants me to live child-free?
It would be great if you all could leave a comment on the newspapers page to show that there is a huge support out there for a family's decision to pursue fertility treatments.
9 comments:
I believe that some people are meant to have children and some people are not. I do NOT believe, that infertility is an indication in either direction. Anyone who would say such a thing is clearly ignorant and judgemental. You wouldn't tell someone with Cancer that God wants them to die - nobody believes that. It is God's will that people have FREE WILL. I believe with my whole heart that I am MEANT to be a mother and I will fulfill that destiny however need be. For some reason that I may never know, God has chosen me to become a mother in a non-traditional way, and I am ok with that. Only you can decide if you are meant to be a mother, but I truly believe you are!
Yoka!! I didn't read the article before I commented last time, but MY GOODNESS! What is the matter with people? You almost just have to laugh at their ignorance and fell sorry for them for their judgemental, insensitive ways. Trust that you are going through all this for a reason and know that you are a better, more understanding person because of it! To the point of the article in the first place, I love our little blogging community!
I read this article. While I like the fact that the article brings up the infertility and the blogs, these kind of articles always bring out the judgementalness in people. I think that is one of the reasons I started the blog myself. Many of the people who commented on the article think that their way of thinking is the only way of thinking. If people would just see that the article was about the blog network and support for those who go through something, others turned it into a whole different set of issues. I commented on the article. I wrote where I fell on the blogroll. I also wrote that the decisions that are made, whether that be treatment, adoption, or living without children are the coice of the couple and not the people reading an article. Some of the people commenting seem like they are out of control and seem like they have all the answers for everybody else out there. As far as I am concerned, there is no blanket decision that is right for everybody. No matter what I or anybody else pursues to be able to parent is the decision or choice of anybody else but the couple. I think you should comment on the page about your experiences with having a blog and trying to adopt and tell them some of the problems you have faced so people don't just think if you can't have children that you just walk into an adoption agency and walk out with a child on the same day.
I can't believe how angry some of those comments made me! What a bunch of rude and insensitive people!!
What a stir you've created! Several others commented on your blog before I came and read what you actually wrote! I firmly believe that the passions and yearnings in your heart are gifted by God. Your mama heart is not some inkling you have--it is GOD BREATHED! Don't let anyone tell you that motherhood is not part of God's plan for you life! If it's in your heart, it's from him!
Love you, girl. Ignore the garbage!
Just because you believe in a God doesn't mean you have to believe that he plays an active role in the lives of every single life on a daily basis. Never, ever, think for one minute that a divine, caring creature would intend such evils on people.
The article was very well done. I'm sad that there are people in this world who have nothing better to do than be hateful towards those who cannot have their own children. Should a person who is on oxygen be denied that because they aren't breathing real air?
I agree with a comment left on the article - why is it that those who can have children easily are so quick to say we who can't should "just adopt". Why can't they "just adopt"? Their ability to have children easily does not negate that fact that there are still children out there waiting for a home.
Yoka - I hope you are doing well. I've been thinking about you alot lately.
I believe that God allows us to walk through the fires from time to time (or years, in the case of infertility) so that we may trust Him completely.
I know it sounds like a Sunday-School answer, but there's a lot of truth in it...
I don't think it is a matter of God wanting us to be child-free. I just think that He is using infertility and adoption as a different path to our children. All children are gifts from God, He just sends them to some of us differently than others.
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